Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?


Online | Search for a member



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 11 January 1978 (38 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 6614
  • Number of comments : 2198
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 102 posted

About Zebediabolical : I'm better than you. This is not up for debate.

Zebediabolical's page activity

Visits<b>chuka81</b> - 21 minutes ago<b>ALPHA8WOLF</b> - 5 hours ago<b>MrPie</b> - 7 hours ago<b>JKPwnage</b> - 7 hours ago<b>MyUsernameKatie</b> - 13 hours ago<b>psmith78332</b> - 22 hours ago<b>lurker_no_more</b> - yesterday at 6:07pm<b>yayhoo16</b> - yesterday at 3:38pm<b>tomvertigo</b> - yesterday at 3:12pm<b>HumanitysFinest</b> - yesterday at 1:37pm<b>jadenjacksonm</b> - the 02/11/2016 at 6:04pm<b>mrseppski18</b> - the 02/11/2016 at 11:39am<b>Britney554</b> - the 02/11/2016 at 6:59am<b>thefaekitten</b> - the 02/10/2016 at 10:58pm<b>MysticAmmu</b> - the 02/10/2016 at 9:05pm<b>ciaraash</b> - the 02/10/2016 at 5:48pm<b>Kuibe</b> - the 02/10/2016 at 2:28pm<b>Mikelbair1</b> - the 02/10/2016 at 12:05pm

Fucked!<b>thefaekitten</b> - the 02/11/2016 at 4:58am<b>andrewisboss69</b> - the 02/10/2016 at 3:13pm<b>BlueBaronBitch</b> - the 02/09/2016 at 12:28pm<b>buckstop1</b> - the 02/08/2016 at 1:49am<b>pjsr</b> - the 02/07/2016 at 11:10pm<b>KobeLebroJordan</b> - the 01/24/2016 at 8:19pm<b>nikkinik1424</b> - the 01/24/2016 at 7:52pm<b>ughlifesuck</b> - the 01/22/2016 at 12:07pm<b>H3LL_K1D</b> - the 01/15/2016 at 7:32am<b>thatguy3812</b> - the 01/12/2016 at 6:00am<b>TheGamingGamer</b> - the 01/12/2016 at 4:20am<b>csjc</b> - the 01/11/2016 at 7:12pm<b>Josh90881</b> - the 01/09/2016 at 4:21am<b>colder13</b> - the 01/07/2016 at 5:32pm<b>LivToFail</b> - the 12/22/2015 at 8:35am<b>Baka_Me</b> - the 12/20/2015 at 1:56pm<b>Hop6e</b> - the 12/19/2015 at 8:10pm<b>tranced_</b> - the 12/14/2015 at 10:38pm

Zebediabolical's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

One more and it's business time

You've received 68 likes on your profile. Kinky.

See all of Zebediabolical's badges

Zebediabolical's favorite FMLs

Today, my license to carry a gun expired because my manager forgot to renew it. As I'm an armored car guard, this is a problem. In order to keep getting hours, my company transferred me to the coin vault. I just finished moving 15000 lbs of boxed coins. By hand. I'm stuck doing this for a month. FML

Today, I had sex with my boyfriend for the first time. After we finished, he went under the covers and started touching me. At first I thought he was trying to give me "oral pleasure". It turns out he lost the condom inside of me and was trying to fish it out before I noticed. FML

Today, I went to a concert. I got into a fist fight with a drunk girl. My older brother tried to pull me away from her by holding both my arms back. I spent the last half of the concert in the hospital because I couldn't shield my face. FML

Today, I was at my job in the Halloween store. I had to tell someone, "Please stop hitting the Bieber wig with that pimp cane." FML

Today, I learned no matter how much your friends pressure you, you must never snort lines of curry powder. FML

Today, I timed my walk to work perfectly so that I avoided getting sprayed by the rotating sprinklers along the street. As soon as I successfully passed the last sprinkler, a bus sped by me, hit a puddle, and covered me head to toe in muddy water. FML

Today, I will be sleeping in my aunt and uncle's living room. It is 90 degrees. There is an air conditioner but if you turn it on, the raccoons living in the wall will get pissed off and try to claw through the wall. Only five more nights sweating my balls off or imagining racoons having angry sex. FML

Today, my husband went downstairs to play Call of Duty. When he came back after only 20 minutes I said, "Awww, did you miss me?" He said, "No, the controller died." FML

Today, my roommate got completely wasted. He was so drunk he thought the fridge was talking. He decided to make it stop by unplugging it. Most of our food is basically ruined now. FML

Today, I have been released from jail because my idiot friends decided to get me a surprise hooker for my birthday. Turns out "Candy" was actually an undercover cop. My friends ditched me. I was the only one arrested. FML

Today, I had to utter the phrase "OK, but no cape during sex" to my girlfriend. FML

Today, was the first day of my sophomore year. While receiving my schedule, I burst into tears at the sight of a disfigured midget. I'm now seen as the school bitch for making fun of a midget. I have a genuine fear of midgets. FML

Today, my boyfriend and his bandmates were doing a live interview for a web show. Drunk off his ass, my boyfriend starts telling the internet how his ex-girlfriend is his biggest inspiration. I was standing right next to him. FML

Today, while trying to sneak out of my house to go to a party I met my mom trying to sneak back in. FML

Today, I got pulled over. Suspicious that I'd been drinking, the police officer made me walk a straight line and recite the alphabet. I failed both. I was completely sober. FML

FML's blog

  • Eni's illustrated FML
  • Greetings worshipers of lines and colours! This week, with the help of a talented young illustrator we’re checking kids out. No, not like that. Damn, that sounded bad. We’re taking a different look a…

Friday 12 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: