About Zack6849 : Never been good at writing about myself, aspiring programmer, feel free to message me, I don't bite.
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Zack6849's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 10/17/2013 at 11:11pm / United States (Nebraska) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 10/17/2013 at 6:57pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
by Michelle / 10/17/2013 at 7:51am / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 09/20/2013 at 6:45pm / United States (New York) / Kids
by Anonymous / 09/12/2013 at 6:43pm / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous
by sysadmin:~# rm -rf / / 09/12/2013 at 3:40pm / New Zealand (Auckland) / Work
Today, in a rush to get my clothes back on at my girlfriend's house at the sound of her parents opening the front door, I forgot to take the condom off. Her dad watched it fall out of my pant leg and onto the kitchen floor. FML
by Anonymous / 05/31/2012 at 4:53pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy
by jjs51 / 01/23/2012 at 5:36pm / United States / Transportation
by Leenotgay / 09/25/2011 at 12:23am / United States (South Carolina) / Love
Today, my boyfriend found out I have OCD. When I touch something with one hand I have to touch it with the other or I freak. After I brushed his face with the back of my hand he tackled me to the floor, held me down, and laughed at me while I panicked and tried to touch him with my other hand. FML
by Anonymous / 10/07/2010 at 2:29am / United States (Oregon) / Health
Today, I had a friend over. We found my older brother's camera so decided to look through his photos but then we came across photos of him and his girlfriend having sex. We were laughing up until my friend decided to point out that they were having sex on my bed. FML
by badbed / 12/11/2009 at 12:07pm / United Kingdom (Milton Keynes) / Intimacy
Today, a customer came in who only spoke Spanish. I speak Spanish rather well so I helped the customer. She ended up buying $2300 worth of stuff. I got written up because not speaking English apparently "has the potential be offensive to other customers if they are not able to understand you". FML
by Anonymous / 09/04/2009 at 12:31am / Canada (British Columbia) / Work
Today, I took the kids I'm babysitting to the farm to feed the animals. They were a little scared of the llama, so I showed them how nice it was by feeding it a lot of bread. Then, as I was telling the farmer how I loved the llama and wanted to take it home, it spit grass and bread all over my face. FML
by Anonymous / 08/29/2009 at 2:58am / United States (Massachusetts) / Kids
Today, I was having sex with a girl. She was really into it and not holding back on the noise...That is, until I received a text message from my little sister next door reading "If she is making that much noise, she is probably faking it...Trust me, I know." FML
by OhFseriously123 / 08/06/2009 at 6:05am / Italy (Lombardia) / Intimacy
Today, my girlfriend left her phone on a bus. With no way to pick it up, I drove 40 miles through Friday night Boston traffic to get it from the bus company office. It took me four hours. Bored in traffic, I discovered the texts from her other boyfriend. FML
by Safe / 04/17/2009 at 7:15pm / United States (New Jersey) / Love
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- 1Today, my parents let me babysit my baby sister for the first time. About an hour after they left,… 2Today, I saw an elderly lady fall over in the street. Nobody bothered to do anything, so I went… 3Today, I was fired for being late to work, even though the only reason I was late was because I had…