Zach2014

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Offline (the 02/17/2015 at 9:28am)

Zach2014

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 652
  • Number of comments : 13
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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Zach2014's page activity

Visits<b>ragingwaffle</b> - the 09/07/2015 at 9:13pm<b>valerie_273</b> - the 02/17/2015 at 7:02am<b>sallybookers</b> - the 07/28/2014 at 12:04am<b>savannah65</b> - the 03/23/2014 at 10:52pm<b>laurajbm</b> - the 03/05/2014 at 12:18am<b>k_gils</b> - the 02/12/2014 at 6:55pm<b>hurtfeet</b> - the 02/11/2014 at 1:59am<b>soccerniko50</b> - the 02/09/2014 at 8:21pm<b>rach0545</b> - the 02/08/2014 at 10:06pm<b>caseystick18</b> - the 02/08/2014 at 9:31pm<b>BabyWickedOneXoX</b> - the 02/08/2014 at 9:32am<b>deathseeker16758</b> - the 02/08/2014 at 4:21am<b>Iwtumn</b> - the 02/08/2014 at 3:39am<b>house51</b> - the 02/08/2014 at 12:07am<b>spiers1</b> - the 02/08/2014 at 12:05am<b>gmian</b> - the 02/07/2014 at 11:20pm<b>sadiegirl17</b> - the 02/07/2014 at 11:12pm<b>dre82</b> - the 02/07/2014 at 11:07pm

Zach2014's FML badges

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

See all of Zach2014's badges

Zach2014's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend lied about having herpes, and used it as an excuse to dump me. FML

by Anonymous / 11/02/2014 at 1:30am / United States (Wisconsin) / Love

Today, I found out I'm allergic to condoms. Which would be great if my girlfriend wasn't allergic to birth control. FML

by oncehipjr / 10/03/2014 at 3:04pm / United States (Texas) / Health

Today, my boyfriend and I were planning on having sex. He first excused himself to the bathroom, then returned with a sad face saying he had fumbled with himself in the bathroom to get "ready" and accidentally came. He said, "I was thinking of you though." FML

by hahaohyeahwow / 09/24/2014 at 12:24am / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my boyfriend and I celebrated our six-month anniversary. And by that, I mean he brought along his obnoxious best friend, and I paid for everyone's dinner at an expensive restaurant. FML

by thnxbabe / 09/21/2014 at 10:11pm / Love

Today, I'm at that age where sitting down carries a 50/50 chance of turning my balls into scrambled eggs, a fact confirmed yet again today. Third time this week. I think it's time to switch to briefs. FML

by I need a new ballsack. / 09/16/2014 at 12:20pm / United Kingdom (Cheshire) / Health

Today, I was working at the daycare. As I left with my boyfriend, a kid came up to us and said that my boyfriend could do way better. FML

by unlucky / 09/03/2014 at 1:40pm / United States (New York) / Kids

Today, I asked my boyfriend if he could finally go down on me. He said, "No, that's disgusting" and then asked me for a blowjob. FML

by NoSexForMe / 07/13/2014 at 3:46am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, my girlfriend and I were having sex. She was on top, and then stopped, got off, and said, "Let's go get ice cream." I think this was her way of telling me I suck at sex. FML

by bad in the sack / 07/05/2014 at 12:26am / United States / Intimacy

Today, I was going to the bathroom at work. When I stood up, I noticed a little button on the side. I pressed it and the toilet flushed. I've worked there for nine months and just found out today that our toilets don't flush automatically. FML

by Anonymous / 06/16/2014 at 10:45pm / United States (Missouri) / Work

Today, I was at Walmart and had to use the bathroom. I sat down and farted real loud. I didn't realize someone was in there with me until I heard a voice say, "Dude, that was a good one." It was a man's voice. I then realized I was in the men's restroom. FML

by dani / 03/24/2014 at 11:39pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to a paintball match with my family and the family of my brother's girlfriend. A few minutes into, my brother's girlfriend's dad snuck up on me, unloaded into me from behind, and snarled, "That's for knocking my daughter up." He got the wrong guy. My back is killing me. FML

by iusedprotectionanyway / 03/21/2014 at 5:44pm / New Zealand (Auckland) / Health

Today, my 3-year-old son discovered his testicles. When I asked him what they were, he replied, "They're my balls! They make my winkie happy!" Now he won't quit singing it. FML

by Anonymous / 03/11/2014 at 11:34pm / United States (New York) / Kids

Today, I came home from a night out with the lads. My girlfriend refused to make love to me, saying my sperm were drunk and would raise hell in her uterus. FML

by vegas-81 / 02/09/2014 at 10:39pm / France / Intimacy

Today, I told my professor that I'll be missing class next week due to upcoming surgery. I asked if I could take the exam that I'd otherwise miss another day. He said no, and that I'd just have to take a failing grade, then wished me luck with the surgery. FML

by ... / 02/07/2014 at 3:30pm / United States (Illinois) / Health

Today, me and my boyfriend were having sex. As we were getting into it, his cat came into the room, sat, and stared us down with what looked like disapproving eyes. After 5 minutes had gone by, we stopped completely. A cat just cock blocked me. FML

by CatBlock / 01/31/2014 at 1:16am / United States (Georgia) / Intimacy