- Town/Country : Not specified
- Title : Mister
- Birth Date : Friday 20 June 1986 (30 years old)
- <3 status : Single
- Number of visits : 2967
- Number of comments : 275
- Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted
About ZY1431 : no longer active.
About ZY1431 : no longer active.
Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
One more and it's business time
You've received 68 likes on your profile. Kinky.
You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
Today, I decided I would actually make use of my apartment complex's exercise equipment. My routine consisted of one mile on the treadmill, and 15 minutes on the toilet followed by 10 minutes of lying in the fetal position on my bath mat. Great core workout. FML
by anon / 03/20/2015 at 5:43pm / United States (Virginia) / Health
by Anonymous / 03/07/2015 at 2:05pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous
Today, I went to an ATM intending to withdraw $150. I approached the machine, inserted my card, typed in my pin and followed the prompts. When my card came out, I removed it, put it in my pocket and drove off. FML
by kaailin / 02/19/2015 at 8:29am / Australia (South Australia) / Money
Today, I realized my job working with food is getting to me. While having sex with my boyfriend, I fell asleep. He asked me what I was doing, and apparently I sleep-talked, saying "I'm chopping lettuce". FML
by xoragebaby / 01/23/2015 at 8:29pm / United States / Intimacy
Today, I was walking with a female friend when suddenly, my ex-girlfriend comes running down the street and says, "So, you're cheating on me with this slut, huh?!" We've been separated for a decade now. FML
by RipeFlame / 01/13/2015 at 10:05pm / United States (Florida) / Love
Today, I went to take a piss in a public bathroom. Somehow, I managed to completely jam the lock. After minutes of trying to get myself out, I gave up and crawled under the stall, at which point someone walked in and was very surprised to see me on the floor. FML
by downinthedumps / 01/12/2015 at 9:47pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous
Today, my girlfriend gave me my first handjob. I was nervous, so when she went to do it, I panicked and yelled, "Firmly grasp it!" She then couldn't stop laughing because it was a line from SpongeBob. FML
by con135 / 01/12/2015 at 8:16pm / United States (New Jersey) / Intimacy
by exuberant_orange / 01/08/2015 at 10:56am / United States (Florida) / Love
by Anonymous / 01/04/2015 at 5:27am / Australia (Victoria) / Love
by gothicvamp93 / 01/04/2015 at 1:46am / United States (Illinois) / Work
Today, I was lying in bed with my girlfriend. Trying to be romantic, I complimented her on how nice her hair smelled. She replied: "Yeah? Wait till you smell this." then let out the vilest, most nauseating fart I'd ever smelled in my life. FML
by allgassedout / 01/03/2015 at 7:23pm / United States (California) / Love
Today, my best friend showed me his New Year's Eve photos. Girls everywhere, booze flowing all over the place and all my friends were there. They still haven't realised that they didn't invite me. We've been friends for seven years. FML
by Anonymous / 01/02/2015 at 5:46pm / United States (Nevada) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend for the first time in over a month. When I came, I thrust one last time and let out a huge fart. She couldn't keep her mouth shut about it, and now all our friends keep calling me "CumFart". FML
by I'll Make You FartCum / 01/02/2015 at 4:53pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
by HappyNewYearsToMeAndMyCat / 01/01/2015 at 12:25am / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous