You_Screwed_Up

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Offline (the 05/27/2015 at 5:35am)

You_Screwed_Up

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 696
  • Number of comments : 33
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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You_Screwed_Up's page activity

Visits<b>thefaekitten</b> - the 02/19/2016 at 6:35pm<b>IamAngryCoffee</b> - the 12/24/2015 at 12:55am<b>PremiumWhale</b> - the 07/17/2015 at 5:20pm<b>madi113</b> - the 06/22/2015 at 10:20pm<b>sadieloretta</b> - the 03/05/2015 at 3:40am<b>martin8337</b> - the 02/02/2015 at 2:14am<b>AmAzInG123456789</b> - the 03/10/2014 at 3:19pm<b>AshMeadow14</b> - the 03/04/2014 at 11:20pm<b>YergleDeeDerf</b> - the 03/03/2014 at 11:01pm<b>myoukei</b> - the 03/03/2014 at 5:39pm<b>Iwtumn</b> - the 02/21/2014 at 11:27am<b>Zaketh2112</b> - the 01/28/2014 at 12:50pm<b>mageeethan</b> - the 11/27/2013 at 11:39am<b>Korosuhito</b> - the 09/13/2013 at 11:44am<b>tim374</b> - the 09/12/2013 at 10:35pm<b>picante72</b> - the 09/12/2013 at 11:29am<b>kjblack</b> - the 06/28/2013 at 12:50am<b>jujuthefroggy</b> - the 07/03/2012 at 11:15am

You_Screwed_Up's FML badges

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

See all of You_Screwed_Up's badges

You_Screwed_Up's favorite FMLs

Today, I had the cops called on me for acting suspiciously. I was using a payphone. FML

by Anonymous / 03/14/2014 at 1:07am / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous

Today, I finally gave in to my long-distance boyfriend's requests and texted him dirty things. Any time I would send him something, he would reply, "What?" or "What do you mean?" Either I'm not doing this right, or I'm in a relationship with the most innocent person ever. FML

by Anonymous / 03/14/2014 at 12:06am / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, after running across London to catch my train, I collapsed, panting, into a seat across from a concerned elderly woman. She leaned over to ask whether I had my inhaler and I smiled and nodded. I didn't have the heart to tell her that I'm not asthmatic, just really unfit. FML

by alipallie / 03/09/2014 at 8:36pm / United Kingdom (Suffolk) / Health

Today, I ran into a friend I hadn't seen in a while, but I had heard she was pregnant. I rubbed her belly and asked when she was due. She slowly backed away, giving me a weird look and said, "Two months ago." FML

by kitty91 / 03/02/2014 at 8:14pm / United States (New Mexico) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I walked into my apartment and smelled something extremely repugnant. I asked my roommate what had happened and she said, "I didn't know how else to kill it!" She'd trapped a bat that was in our apartment, put it in the oven, and set it to 400 degrees. FML

by BakedBat / 02/20/2014 at 11:10pm / United States (Minnesota) / Miscellaneous

Today, my sister had me kicked out of her wedding reception for, in the words of her new husband, "harshing the buzz." FML

by Anonymous / 01/15/2014 at 10:05am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I came home after working on a difficult case. My husband wasn't home so I hopped into bed. My feet felt something and I reached down and picked it up out of the sheets. It was lacy black thongs. I don't own black thongs. FML

by Anonymous / 12/21/2013 at 2:08am / United States (California) / Love

Today, rather than buying one pork chop big enough for myself, I bought two smaller chops just so the cashier wouldn't think I was eating by myself. FML

by LonelyPorkChop / 12/18/2013 at 4:30am / Australia (Queensland) / Love

Today, I got paper thrown at me because I didn't agree with my classmate's conspiracy theory that Brian Griffin's death was planned by the illuminati. FML

by Amy / 12/05/2013 at 12:25am / Australia (South Australia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was taking some clean bedsheets down from the top of the wardrobe. As I pulled the top sheet down, a cat jumped onto my face, claws and all, before falling to the floor and running away. Thing is, I don't own a cat and I have no idea where in the house it has hidden now. FML

by Seriously_Scaredy_Cat / 11/27/2013 at 2:08am / United States / Animals

Today, I was playing monopoly with my boyfriend and a few friends. After I bankrupted my boyfriend, he turned to me and said, "I fucked your best friend last night, so who really won?" I turned to the best friend in question, she looked at the board and said, "I'd like to buy a house please." FML

by I hate that game / 11/23/2013 at 11:11am / United Kingdom (Wigan) / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend brought a 12-pack of beer to my mother's wake. FML

by haqL / 11/15/2013 at 5:51pm / Mexico (Queretaro de Arteaga) / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend, who is very self conscious about her body, finally decided to have sex with me. She told me to wait a few minutes, so I did. I stripped and turned around to find her in a one-piece swimsuit, with a hole cut out of the crotch. FML

by Anonymous / 07/13/2011 at 1:02am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, my mom was going through the newspaper and cutting out coupons for me to use. She hands me two of them, one for tampons and the other for a pregnancy test saying "well, you're gonna need one or the other this month." FML

by anonymous / 09/17/2010 at 4:19am / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous