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YouFailForLife
  • Town/Country : New York, United States
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 1 January 1993 (21 years)
  • Number of visits : 1591
  • Number of comments : 62
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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YouFailForLife's favorite FMLs

Today, I awoke to my husband talking to someone on the phone at 2am. I heard him say, "Baby you're making me hard." Immediately, I asked him who he was talking to. His response? "It's Jake, from State Farm." FML

#20562846
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (70654) - you deserved it (6036)

On 03/27/2013 at 7:55pm - intimacy - by anonymous - United States (Hawaii)

Today, a technician from my ISP came to my house to replace my router. He asked for a glass of water, one thing led to another, and for some reason I'll never fully understand, we ended up having sex. Looks like porn logic is not so far off the mark after all. FML

#20537010
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16531) - you deserved it (53578)

On 03/09/2013 at 1:50pm - intimacy - by je_regrette_tout (woman) - Sent from mobile version

Today, one of my elderly swimming students ran into me at Walmart. Being a polite teenager, I said hi to him. He looked at me surprised and said, "Oh dear! I didn't recognize you with your clothes on!" I'll never forget the look on his wife's face. FML

#20536627
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35872) - you deserved it (2748)

On 03/09/2013 at 2:02am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada

Today, after a long work shift, I was so tired that I took a nap in my car to avoid driving half-asleep. When I awoke, there was a huge truck in front of me. I thought I'd fallen asleep while driving and was about to die. I only realized it was stationary after I pissed myself. FML

#20529430
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30631) - you deserved it (5199)

On 03/03/2013 at 12:37pm - misc - by FUCKKKS (man) - United States

Today, I was pushing my wheelchair-bound grandpa back home, when a pretty girl walked past us in the opposite direction. He made me stop and turn him around, just so he could ogle her ass as she walked away. FML

#20518187
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25080) - you deserved it (4269) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 02/22/2013 at 9:27pm - misc - by hé merde - Sent from mobile version

Today, I went to buy a birthday present for my boyfriend. While buying him a sweater, the cashier tried to up-sale me by asking if my boyfriend wore briefs or boxers, because both were on sale. Not thinking, I blurted out, "I don't know, they just come off." FML

#20477493
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24514) - you deserved it (11961)

On 01/25/2013 at 12:31am - misc - by awkwardturtle (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while sharing a few beers on the couch with my boyfriend, he drunkenly uttered the fateful words, "Babe, if I could suck my own dick, you'd be single as HELL." FML

#20426492
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49370) - you deserved it (6801)

On 12/27/2012 at 7:24pm - intimacy - by well, i am now (woman) - United States

Today, a woman at work was complaining about her weight. She looked pretty thin, so to make her feel better, I said that she looked small. She said "Well, you haven't seen me naked." For some reason, I replied, "Not that you know of." FML

#20417936
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14404) - you deserved it (33723)

On 12/24/2012 at 1:37am - work - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was watching some pretty intense porn on my Macbook. I unplugged the second monitor so I could lie on my bed. Instead of defaulting to the screen, Airplay somehow synced it to the living room TV, where the rest of my family was watching a movie. FML

#20052962
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16629) - you deserved it (42419)

On 09/01/2012 at 7:14pm - intimacy - by WhyAppleWhy (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was enjoying a romantic cuddle on the couch with my boyfriend, when he suddenly decided to lift up my shirt, stick his face into my boobs, and go all Darth Vader on me. This included heavy breathing and phrases such as, "Amber... I am your boyfriend." FML

#20024327
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18428) - you deserved it (4644)

On 08/16/2012 at 11:16am - love - by Amberain (woman) - United Kingdom (Halton)

Today, my boyfriend used various infomercial phrases like, "Wait, there's more!" during sex. FML

#20019911
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22435) - you deserved it (3718)

On 08/14/2012 at 1:16am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I had a chat with my husband, and I convinced him to try being more spontaneous to spice up our sex life. This evening, he burst into our bedroom with an eyepatch on, and "seductively" growled, "I'm gonna slay your pussy, wench." FML

#20015589
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13816) - you deserved it (37119)

On 08/11/2012 at 6:22pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I finally had sex with the guy I've been in love with for the past two years. Five minutes in, he passed out on top of me from a pain pill overdose and had a mini seizure. He finally woke up and groans, "Those bastards! They confiscated my clothes!" FML

#19966963
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18777) - you deserved it (3391)

On 07/21/2012 at 3:40am - intimacy - by Lucy - United States (California)

Today, I finally had sex with the guy I've been in love with for the past two years. Five minutes in, he passed out on top of me from a pain pill overdose and had a mini seizure. He finally woke up and groans, "Those bastards! They confiscated my clothes!" FML

#19966963
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18777) - you deserved it (3391)

On 07/21/2012 at 3:40am - intimacy - by Lucy - United States (California)



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