YouFailForLife

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Offline (the 05/29/2014 at 12:55am)

YouFailForLife

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 1 January 1993 (23 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2813
  • Number of comments : 62
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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Visits<b>Red_Curls1995</b> - the 01/17/2016 at 3:22pm<b>Juicenub</b> - the 09/14/2014 at 4:16am<b>MaltWarrior</b> - the 08/11/2014 at 3:46am<b>ilikeirony</b> - the 07/09/2014 at 12:02pm<b>amberv61</b> - the 06/22/2014 at 2:08pm<b>goldengirlsfan</b> - the 04/06/2014 at 10:23am<b>starile</b> - the 08/11/2013 at 1:24am<b>DJLag</b> - the 07/07/2013 at 12:18pm<b>DumbingOfAmerica</b> - the 12/24/2012 at 12:37am<b>amypr</b> - the 08/31/2012 at 8:30pm<b>boredblonde</b> - the 10/30/2011 at 11:42pm<b>agreatday</b> - the 10/28/2011 at 2:03am<b>Ima_monster_x3</b> - the 10/27/2011 at 5:23pm<b>zzzklx</b> - the 10/27/2011 at 9:33am<b>Retired_Panda</b> - the 10/23/2011 at 8:09pm<b>linnie_wesker</b> - the 09/28/2011 at 11:38pm<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 9:56pm<b>sugarnspicee</b> - the 06/09/2011 at 2:59pm

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YouFailForLife's favorite FMLs

Today, I took my son to lunch. After we ate, the waitress came over and told me that my son was the most well-behaved child they had ever had there. His response was to pull his pants down and moon the entire restaurant while smacking his bottom. FML

by BekkyLove15 / 05/18/2014 at 8:12pm / United Kingdom (Hampshire) / Kids

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, one of my year 9 students finished the test an hour early. He decided to spend the time by "stealthily" whacking off. His entire desk was shaking in a silent room. FML

Today, my four year old son came into the restroom while I was applying my make-up, and asked me "Mommy, are you putting on make-up so that someone will love you?" FML

by unlovedmommy / 05/08/2014 at 5:49pm / United States (Texas) / Kids

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I awoke to my husband talking to someone on the phone at 2am. I heard him say, "Baby you're making me hard." Immediately, I asked him who he was talking to. His response? "It's Jake, from State Farm." FML

by anonymous / 03/27/2013 at 7:55pm / United States (Hawaii) / Intimacy

Today, a technician from my ISP came to my house to replace my router. He asked for a glass of water, one thing led to another, and for some reason I'll never fully understand, we ended up having sex. Looks like porn logic is not so far off the mark after all. FML

by je_regrette_tout / 03/09/2013 at 1:50pm / Intimacy

Today, one of my elderly swimming students ran into me at Walmart. Being a polite teenager, I said hi to him. He looked at me surprised and said, "Oh dear! I didn't recognize you with your clothes on!" I'll never forget the look on his wife's face. FML

by Anonymous / 03/09/2013 at 2:02am / Canada / Miscellaneous

Today, after a long work shift, I was so tired that I took a nap in my car to avoid driving half-asleep. When I awoke, there was a huge truck in front of me. I thought I'd fallen asleep while driving and was about to die. I only realized it was stationary after I pissed myself. FML

by FUCKKKS / 03/03/2013 at 12:37pm / United States / Transportation

Today, I was pushing my wheelchair-bound grandpa back home, when a pretty girl walked past us in the opposite direction. He made me stop and turn him around, just so he could ogle her ass as she walked away. FML

by hé merde / 02/22/2013 at 9:27pm / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to buy a birthday present for my boyfriend. While buying him a sweater, the cashier tried to up-sale me by asking if my boyfriend wore briefs or boxers, because both were on sale. Not thinking, I blurted out, "I don't know, they just come off." FML

by awkwardturtle / 01/25/2013 at 12:31am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, while sharing a few beers on the couch with my boyfriend, he drunkenly uttered the fateful words, "Babe, if I could suck my own dick, you'd be single as HELL." FML

by well, i am now / 12/27/2012 at 7:24pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, a woman at work was complaining about her weight. She looked pretty thin, so to make her feel better, I said that she looked small. She said "Well, you haven't seen me naked." For some reason, I replied, "Not that you know of." FML

by Anonymous / 12/24/2012 at 1:37am / United States (North Carolina) / Work

Today, as I was waiting for my girlfriend in the street, I saw a woman who looked a lot like her. I ran towards her, my arms in the air ready to give her a hug, only to realise it wasn't her. I then had to pass the woman, my arms in the air, still running. FML

by minibuch1505 / 09/21/2012 at 7:31am / Miscellaneous

Today, I was watching some pretty intense porn on my Macbook. I unplugged the second monitor so I could lie on my bed. Instead of defaulting to the screen, Airplay somehow synced it to the living room TV, where the rest of my family was watching a movie. FML

by WhyAppleWhy / 09/01/2012 at 7:14pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

Today, I was enjoying a romantic cuddle on the couch with my boyfriend, when he suddenly decided to lift up my shirt, stick his face into my boobs, and go all Darth Vader on me. This included heavy breathing and phrases such as, "Amber... I am your boyfriend." FML

by Amberain / 08/16/2012 at 11:16am / United Kingdom (Halton) / Love

Today, my boyfriend used various infomercial phrases like, "Wait, there's more!" during sex. FML

by Anonymous / 08/14/2012 at 1:16am / United States (Nebraska) / Intimacy