Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

YoshiEgg

Offline (the 03/21/2015 at 5:43pm) | Search for a member

YoshiEgg

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1453
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

YoshiEgg's page activity

Visits<b>totallybananas</b> - the 09/13/2014 at 7:11pm<b>bayy1432</b> - the 09/05/2014 at 12:00am<b>LexiDaBae</b> - the 08/27/2014 at 9:22pm<b>Demig0d6</b> - the 05/16/2014 at 1:20pm<b>Welshite</b> - the 03/31/2014 at 3:33pm<b>olpally</b> - the 03/31/2014 at 9:19am<b>TroyS77</b> - the 03/18/2014 at 10:39am<b>Alchemist_21</b> - the 03/11/2014 at 2:24pm<b>lifeof_toad</b> - the 12/02/2013 at 1:41am<b>Wizardo</b> - the 11/27/2013 at 9:26am<b>ayoubi4</b> - the 11/08/2013 at 12:35am<b>smavaddat12</b> - the 07/22/2013 at 6:25pm<b>lulubelles</b> - the 07/13/2013 at 5:29pm<b>Kruitdamp</b> - the 07/03/2013 at 7:24am<b>MidnaLink</b> - the 06/24/2013 at 5:21pm<b>buckdharma</b> - the 06/19/2013 at 12:52pm

YoshiEgg's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

See all of YoshiEgg's badges

YoshiEgg's favorite FMLs

Today, I asked my dad if my girlfriend could sleep over. He winked at me and agreed. When I brought her home, we went to my room for a quickie. There, I saw that my dad had taped multiple Richard Simmons posters to the wall, causing my girlfriend to suddenly come down with a "headache." FML

#19607447
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12735) - you deserved it (20849)

On 05/11/2012 at 2:29pm - love - by cockblocked (man) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I was at a restaurant with my kids. I told my 13 year old about how the very first time she said she loved me. She was 2 and it was at this very restaurant. I told her the details and even started tearing up a little. She didn't even look up from her cell phone and said, "That's fab, ma." FML

#19603153
314 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28072) - you deserved it (8069)

On 05/10/2012 at 4:33pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, there was a mandatory staff-wide "cleaning party" for a corporate inspection. I was assigned the outside bar which is infested with full-grown roaches with wings. FML

#19482004
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21580) - you deserved it (1913)

On 04/17/2012 at 12:26am - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I woke up for the third time in a row from a wet dream about my ex-girlfriend. I'm currently on my honeymoon. FML

#19405525
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33676) - you deserved it (11592)

On 04/04/2012 at 6:53am - intimacy - by gordogs 25 - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I wore my new Brazilian thong bikini to the pool for the first time. I was lying face down feeling so sexy, until flies started buzzing my butt. FML

#19344343
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8913) - you deserved it (32911)

On 03/25/2012 at 11:34am - misc - by BookBabe (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend of three days asked if we could start naming our future children. FML

#19285505
271 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32042) - you deserved it (4430)

On 03/15/2012 at 10:21pm - love - by spermbankonlegs (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I met my ex's new boyfriend. I was at work, cashiering at the movie theater that they were apparently having their first date at. We broke up less than 24 hours ago. FML

#18663308
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29296) - you deserved it (2264)

On 12/31/2011 at 12:09pm - love - by TheBeastSwaq - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend decided to raid my games collection and try her hand at Amnesia: The Dark Descent. Two hours later, despite my best attempts to make her stop shrieking like a dying crackhead every two minutes, two cops showed up at the door with our neighbors in tow. FML

#18657725
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22796) - you deserved it (2581)

On 12/30/2011 at 9:43pm - misc - by axel519 (man) - United States

Today, I started at my new waitressing job. Our uniforms have the name of the restaurant on the left chest pocket. My first customer asked me what the other boob was called. FML

#18443540
99 comments

Today, my parents took away my laptop, TV, Xbox, and car all because I broke up with my girlfriend. They said when I patch things up with her, I can have my stuff back. FML

#17842672
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36552) - you deserved it (5031)

On 09/26/2011 at 9:10pm - love - by faded as shit - United States

Today, my daughter spoke her first words. Her dad had been practicing with her for weeks in secret. She crawled to me and said, "I poop." FML

#17761729
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26036) - you deserved it (4231)

On 09/17/2011 at 12:36am - kids - by applesmama - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my mom showed up completely hammered to a party I was throwing. The party was to celebrate the ten years that I've been sober. FML

#17486446
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30946) - you deserved it (2446)

On 08/16/2011 at 12:54am - health - by Jillian Drute - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, at work in a liquor store, a man came in to demand a refund because after he "drank the whole bottle of Jack" he "couldn't get it up" for his wife. He thought that alcohol was supposed to be an aphrodisiac, and blamed me personally for his "whiskey dick". FML

#17415009
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32219) - you deserved it (2777)

On 08/09/2011 at 2:24am - intimacy - by OyGeeze28 (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I went into a crowded store and tried out a blazer. I was thinking to myself how hot I looked in it when the manager tapped me on the shoulder and politely said, "Excuse me sir, that's a ladies' blazer." FML

#17374086
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24932) - you deserved it (9488)

On 08/05/2011 at 1:45am - misc - by Fred - Japan

Today, already knowing that my girlfriend wanted to be "just friends", I invited her over, hoping to change her mind. She was playfully drawing on me with a pen when I noticed she'd written "Emily's property" on my leg. I said "Aw, I'm yours?" She then drew a for-sale sign on me. FML

#17190246
294 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38526) - you deserved it (11044)

On 07/20/2011 at 12:38pm - love - by John (man) - United States (Illinois)



FML's blog

  • Elaillce's illustrated FML
  • So, did you catch the game this week? You know, the one with the ball, the scoring and all that stuff. Isn't that how you're supposed to talk to people? OK, I know nothing about sports and teams, but I…

Friday 17 April 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: