Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

YoshiEgg

Offline (yesterday at 10:41am) | Search for a member

YoshiEgg

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1139
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

YoshiEgg's page activity

Visits<b>totallybananas</b> - the 09/13/2014 at 7:11pm<b>bayy1432</b> - the 09/05/2014 at 12:00am<b>LexiDaBae</b> - the 08/27/2014 at 9:22pm<b>Demig0d6</b> - the 05/16/2014 at 1:20pm<b>Welshite</b> - the 03/31/2014 at 3:33pm<b>olpally</b> - the 03/31/2014 at 9:19am<b>TroyS77</b> - the 03/18/2014 at 10:39am<b>Alchemist_21</b> - the 03/11/2014 at 2:24pm<b>lifeof_toad</b> - the 12/02/2013 at 1:41am<b>Wizardo</b> - the 11/27/2013 at 9:26am<b>ayoubi4</b> - the 11/08/2013 at 12:35am<b>smavaddat12</b> - the 07/22/2013 at 6:25pm<b>lulubelles</b> - the 07/13/2013 at 5:29pm<b>Kruitdamp</b> - the 07/03/2013 at 7:24am<b>MidnaLink</b> - the 06/24/2013 at 5:21pm<b>buckdharma</b> - the 06/19/2013 at 12:52pm

YoshiEgg's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

See all of YoshiEgg's badges

YoshiEgg's favorite FMLs

Today, my virginal girlfriend of a year graduated from veterinary school. She can shove her arm shoulder-deep up a cow's ass without blinking, but still feels too insecure to even touch my penis. FML

#20596452
230 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68837) - you deserved it (17906)

On 04/16/2013 at 1:44pm - intimacy - by Gurior - Canada

Today, my boyfriend and I went to the store to buy oranges and pick up a pack of condoms. When we were at the checkout counter, my boyfriend happily told the cashier, "The only way we can have sex is if we squeeze oranges all over our bodies." FML

#20583013
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52663) - you deserved it (11899)

On 04/10/2013 at 12:28am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my best friend was throwing me my bachelorette partly. A cop came by and said there have been complaints about the noise. Thinking he was the stripper we ordered, we pulled him into the house. He was an actual cop. FML

#20577218
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39855) - you deserved it (19471)

On 04/06/2013 at 8:55am - misc - by Evalynne - United States (Louisiana)

Today, a blonde tourist came up to me and asked me for directions to the nearest train station. I politely directed her there, and she left. Five minutes later, she came back and slapped me for not bringing her to an "English-speaking station". We're in China, lady. FML

#20567861
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39102) - you deserved it (2598)

On 03/31/2013 at 2:19am - misc - by dumb tourists (man) - China (Beijing)

Today, I stole a pen from the doctor's office while she wasn't looking. Later on at work, I idly pulled the pen out during a meeting. My colleague looked at me, horrified. The pen had the words "minimally invasive gynecological surgery" emblazoned on it. I'm a man. FML

#20516811
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6952) - you deserved it (45463)

On 02/21/2013 at 9:56pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I introduced my boyfriend to my overprotective father. My boyfriend started out with, "Sir, it is an honor to be your daughter's sexual partner." FML

#20497837
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57648) - you deserved it (10902)

On 02/08/2013 at 2:13am - intimacy - by mydadsgonnakillme (woman) - United States (California)

Today, a woman at work was complaining about her weight. She looked pretty thin, so to make her feel better, I said that she looked small. She said "Well, you haven't seen me naked." For some reason, I replied, "Not that you know of." FML

#20417936
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15192) - you deserved it (35110)

On 12/24/2012 at 1:37am - work - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my mom bitched me out and threatened to send me to a Bible camp, after catching me admiring a photo of a bikini model, which is apparently "immoral behavior." This is the same woman who cheated on my dad twice, justifying it by claiming the devil tempted her. FML

#20195064
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35528) - you deserved it (1965)

On 12/07/2012 at 12:06pm - misc - by sonofahypocriticalwhore (man) - United States

Today, we found out that the beloved "Uncle Jimmy" from my early childhood was really the man my mother was cheating on my dad with. FML

#20156411
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23751) - you deserved it (1333)

On 11/09/2012 at 3:53pm - misc - by Anonymous - New Zealand (Gisborne)

Today, I woke up after having a dream which included sex with a very hot guy. I realized it's about time I get laid, because the hot guy was Brock from Pokémon. FML

#20119984
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31185) - you deserved it (6233)

On 10/16/2012 at 6:59pm - intimacy - by L (woman) - Norway (Sor-Trondelag)

Today, an incredibly rude woman came in for a hairdressing appointment. I had to put up with being yelled at and called a "clumsy bitch," a "pleb," and other insults for almost half an hour. When I finally managed to finish her hair, instead of tipping me, she spat at my feet and stormed out. FML

#20093857
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25128) - you deserved it (1977)

On 09/29/2012 at 4:34pm - misc - by scumdresser (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I went to my dentist of four years. After the cleaning, the hygienist and I scheduled my next appointment, and she briefly left the room, leaving my file open on the computer. The data in a field called "NOTE" caught my eye: "Sissy. Freak. Always late. Ask about family or will flirt." FML

#20080189
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8375) - you deserved it (24290)

On 09/20/2012 at 12:14am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, at age eighteen, I finished moving out of my parents' house and into my own. The only person to even remotely give a shit was my sister, and that was only because I was taking the cat with me. FML

#20026624
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20103) - you deserved it (2000)

On 08/17/2012 at 3:55pm - misc - by CollegeBound (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was digging in my lawn, trying to ignore the suspicious glances coming from my nosy fuckball of a neighbor. When he asked what I was doing, I replied with dripping sarcasm, that I was digging up the schoolkids I killed last year. Fifteen minutes later, the cops he called arrived. FML

#20015702
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31222) - you deserved it (8588)

On 08/11/2012 at 7:47pm - misc - by diggingaplotforone - United States (California)

Today, I went to my regular pharmacist of three months, and since I've always seen him on a crutch, I asked him how his leg was. His response: "Still missing". FML

#19903690
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22151) - you deserved it (6238)

On 07/07/2012 at 3:26am - misc - by sozzy - United States (California)



Mathilde Morieux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Mathilde Morieux's illustrated FML
  • Madonna must be the only person breathing a sigh of relief right now thanks to all the idiots arguing about the colour of a dress. Thanks to a badly-lit photograph, everyone seems to have forgotten that she super…

Friday 27 February 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: