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YoshiEgg

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YoshiEgg
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 335
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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YoshiEgg's favorite FMLs

Today, I was having dinner at a long-time friend's place. In a matter of 15 minutes, her mom had managed to establish unequivocally that three kinds of people were ruining the world: vegetarians, atheists and homosexuals. I'm all three rolled into one. She knows that. FML

#20804013
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43306) - you deserved it (14340)

On 07/26/2013 at 1:31am - misc - by WhyThankYou (woman) - Lebanon (Beyrouth)

Today, my doctor told me that I suffer from orgasm migraines. Basically, I get an intense migraine that lasts for hours after I have an orgasm. FML

#20798770
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64098) - you deserved it (3710)

On 07/23/2013 at 1:17am - intimacy - by amanda (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I was eating a corndog, when my boyfriend jokingly told me to "take it deeper". I did, and ended up choking and throwing up all over the table. FML

#20775966
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24123) - you deserved it (45908)

On 07/11/2013 at 1:08pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, after spending months learning Chinese, selling my house and everything I own for my big transfer to Hong Kong, my boss decided I should instead go to our other branch across town. FML

#20761984
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45082) - you deserved it (2122)

On 07/03/2013 at 5:01pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I returned home from an extended vacation only to find out my cousin wasn't kidding when he said he was going to steal my boyfriend. I thought I was dating a straight guy. FML

#20761976
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41247) - you deserved it (3025)

On 07/03/2013 at 4:56pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I finally realized that when my seemingly very judgmental fiancé makes negative comments about other women, it's actually just an excuse to keep ogling them. FML

#20761657
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37673) - you deserved it (5320)

On 07/03/2013 at 1:35pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I was taking some clothes downstairs to wash, when my mum stopped me. She accused me of sleeping around and trying to hide something, since she did the washing yesterday. She made me admit in front of the whole family that I'd been "surprised" by a case of diarrhea. FML

#20761546
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36622) - you deserved it (2209)

On 07/03/2013 at 12:19pm - health - by ToiletTroubles (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, it's been weeks since some asshat started placing gnomes in my front and back yards. I resorted to setting up cameras, which I thought had deterred the idiot, until I walked into my kitchen this morning and found two gnomes on the counter. Nothing on the tapes. I'm freaking out here. FML

#20742609
219 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53829) - you deserved it (3197)

On 06/23/2013 at 1:02pm - misc - by ilivealoneandwhatthefuck (man) - Guam

Today, my parents took my iPad back to the store and exchanged it for two cheap knock off tablets. Reason being my little brother threatened to run away because I had one and he didn't. I bought the iPad on my own after graduation. They kept the difference in price. FML

Today, my grandma's new dildo arrived in the mail. We buried her yesterday. FML

#20731352
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61850) - you deserved it (2810)

On 06/17/2013 at 12:43pm - intimacy - by hinting (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my dad watched his first Lord of the Rings marathon. Now he keeps spouting lines from the movies, and thought it'd be funny to hide in my closet, just to jump out at me while screaming, "My precious!" FML

#20701776
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41446) - you deserved it (6804)

On 06/02/2013 at 6:36pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Thurrock)

Today, my virginal girlfriend of a year graduated from veterinary school. She can shove her arm shoulder-deep up a cow's ass without blinking, but still feels too insecure to even touch my penis. FML

#20596452
230 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64423) - you deserved it (16814)

On 04/16/2013 at 1:44pm - intimacy - by Gurior - Canada

Today, my boyfriend and I went to the store to buy oranges and pick up a pack of condoms. When we were at the checkout counter, my boyfriend happily told the cashier, "The only way we can have sex is if we squeeze oranges all over our bodies." FML

#20583013
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50462) - you deserved it (11399)

On 04/10/2013 at 12:28am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my best friend was throwing me my bachelorette partly. A cop came by and said there have been complaints about the noise. Thinking he was the stripper we ordered, we pulled him into the house. He was an actual cop. FML

#20577218
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36464) - you deserved it (17977)

On 04/06/2013 at 8:55am - misc - by Evalynne - United States (Louisiana)

Today, a blonde tourist came up to me and asked me for directions to the nearest train station. I politely directed her there, and she left. Five minutes later, she came back and slapped me for not bringing her to an "English-speaking station". We're in China, lady. FML

#20567861
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34515) - you deserved it (2270)

On 03/31/2013 at 2:19am - misc - by dumb tourists (man) - China (Beijing)



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