Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

YoshiEgg

Offline (the 02/16/2015 at 7:03am) | Search for a member

YoshiEgg

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1086
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

YoshiEgg's page activity

Visits<b>totallybananas</b> - the 09/13/2014 at 7:11pm<b>bayy1432</b> - the 09/05/2014 at 12:00am<b>LexiDaBae</b> - the 08/27/2014 at 9:22pm<b>Demig0d6</b> - the 05/16/2014 at 1:20pm<b>Welshite</b> - the 03/31/2014 at 3:33pm<b>olpally</b> - the 03/31/2014 at 9:19am<b>TroyS77</b> - the 03/18/2014 at 10:39am<b>Alchemist_21</b> - the 03/11/2014 at 2:24pm<b>lifeof_toad</b> - the 12/02/2013 at 1:41am<b>Wizardo</b> - the 11/27/2013 at 9:26am<b>ayoubi4</b> - the 11/08/2013 at 12:35am<b>smavaddat12</b> - the 07/22/2013 at 6:25pm<b>lulubelles</b> - the 07/13/2013 at 5:29pm<b>Kruitdamp</b> - the 07/03/2013 at 7:24am<b>MidnaLink</b> - the 06/24/2013 at 5:21pm<b>buckdharma</b> - the 06/19/2013 at 12:52pm

YoshiEgg's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

See all of YoshiEgg's badges

YoshiEgg's favorite FMLs

Today, I realized how amazing I've become at faking orgasms: I made up everything from the noises of my juices to pure, blissful climax over the phone to my husband. He came; I finished putting laundry away. FML

#20955991
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48030) - you deserved it (12617)

On 11/13/2013 at 1:40am - intimacy - by CanWeAllGetOne - United States (Texas)

Today, I had to take my 15-year-old son to the hospital. He'd gone out dressed as some My Little Pony character and encountered someone who'd had the same idea. They then got into a fistfight, and my son got the shit beaten out of him. I wish I'd never bred. FML

#20940283
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42950) - you deserved it (8980)

On 10/31/2013 at 2:27pm - kids - by anna (woman) - United States (Mississippi)

Today, my mother came over to visit, and my kids started excitedly telling her Christmas is coming soon. She freaked out, saying Christmas is a "Satanic holiday" and telling them that Santa is going to hell along with everyone who celebrates it. My children are now traumatized. FML

#20933801
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41272) - you deserved it (3239)

On 10/25/2013 at 7:20pm - kids - by Jane M (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I had an anxiety attack when I learned that my favorite book series is coming to the end. I had to leave the store and sit in my car. FML

#20930715
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37311) - you deserved it (8291)

On 10/23/2013 at 12:43am - health - by Anonymous - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, my mom let me stay home from school, because I was sick. We both agreed not to tell my dad, since he's adamant that I never miss even one day of school. A few hours after my mom left for work, he came back home, with another woman. FML

#20925128
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68669) - you deserved it (3207)

On 10/18/2013 at 12:26pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Norway (Hordaland)

Today, my boss gave me a verbal warning. My crime? Calling people "hon", "darlin'", and the like. I work at a Texas diner. FML

#20924228
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42813) - you deserved it (5282)

On 10/17/2013 at 5:36pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, after months of exercise and diets and finally reaching my ideal weight, I told my morbidly obese cousin about my success, hoping to motivate him to do the same. He replied, "Why would it matter, you're still ugly." FML

#20921493
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46652) - you deserved it (5263)

On 10/15/2013 at 1:08pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, someone stole my umbrella. It was pouring heavily, and I was using it at the time. FML

#20914908
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39236) - you deserved it (2988)

On 10/10/2013 at 7:27am - misc - by happyturtle (woman) - Croatia

Today, my boyfriend blew me off yet again because he claims he has a responsibility as a "crew leader" to train and recruit members at all times, to accommodate all time zones. GTA V is ruining our relationship. FML

Today, my boyfriend accused me of cheating because according to him, our child does not have his hair color, eye color, or other facial features. Our son is five days old, bald and hasn't opened his eyes much. The closest thing I can probably compare him to is an old, wrinkly potato. FML

#20912171
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53727) - you deserved it (4234)

On 10/08/2013 at 5:55am - kids - by thisguy (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I got kicked out of English class shortly after our teacher told us we have to write an essay on how the storyline of Harry Potter is one big allegory for "the futility of socialism." Apparently, reacting with disbelief makes me a "disruptive influence." FML

#20905920
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34096) - you deserved it (3502)

On 10/03/2013 at 12:42pm - misc - by WTF? (man) - United States (New Mexico)

Today, I helped my brother propose to his girlfriend of 5 years in the spot where they had first met. As he delivered his heartfelt speech, a sizable crowd appeared. When he got down on one knee, she punched him in the gut, yelled, "I never loved you", and ran away. Now he won't talk to me. FML

#20887080
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48265) - you deserved it (3040)

On 09/18/2013 at 9:45pm - love - by ElizaZee (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, it's my wedding day. Almost a year ago I was in a terrible car accident that nearly left me paralyzed, but I worked my ass off to be able to walk down the aisle. After a lot of blood, sweat, and tears I made it to the big day... and woke up with food poisoning. FML

#20883990
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63345) - you deserved it (2838)

On 09/16/2013 at 5:11pm - health - by somethingblue - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I had to babysit two kids. It all went well until one of them duct taped a knife to a toy machine gun, lit the barbecue on fire, and ran around like a wild banshee screaming obscenities. The other one got scared and climbed onto the roof of the house. FML

#20879220
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45286) - you deserved it (4989)

On 09/13/2013 at 1:55am - work - by ellen77 - United States (California)

Today, I found out yet another of my guy friends liked me. I posted that I just wanted a guy friend that had absolutely no romantic feelings for me. My crush volunteered. FML

#20842536
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31507) - you deserved it (61736)

On 08/18/2013 at 12:41am - misc - by fail - United States



Caroline Maerten's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • FML's Question Time #1: Valentine's Day
  • It's a brand new Valentine's day, so here's a brand new blog section. Yep, you read that right, we're using the fact that Valentine's day is vaguely a controversial…

Friday 13 February 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: