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YoshiEgg

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YoshiEgg
  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 317
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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YoshiEgg's favorite FMLs

Today, it was my first day at my new school. I've never been the new girl before, so I asked my best friend for advice. She said, "Whatever you do, do not, under any circumstances, be yourself." FML

#21029148
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41805) - you deserved it (4762)

On 01/15/2014 at 8:57pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I tried to lose my virginity to my boyfriend of a year. We're almost twenty. In the end, we both chickened out and played Pokémon instead. FML

#21020996
279 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53679) - you deserved it (22236)

On 01/08/2014 at 12:43am - intimacy - by gottacatchemall (woman) - United States

Today, I watched my father attempt to light a cigar with the stove and end up burning off some hair and eyebrows. He tried to play it cool, said, "Haircuts are too expensive these days anyway." and walked out, his head smoking. This man is a college professor. FML

Today, I have to take time off from work to take part in an intervention because my sister's obsession with the guy from Harry Potter has crossed over into illegality. FML

#21009908
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37512) - you deserved it (2968)

On 12/29/2013 at 11:23pm - misc - by LeaveHimAlone (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, Christmas changed my life. Last year I had a boyfriend to cuddle with on Christmas; this year I have a body pillow of an anime character. FML

#21004509
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35045) - you deserved it (5850)

On 12/25/2013 at 2:46am - love - by lonely otaku (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was taking a shower with my boyfriend. While we were washing our hair, he got soap in his eyes and mouth. I was facing him, and since his eyes were closed he didn't realize how close I was. When he spat the soap out, it went straight into my eyes. Neither of us could see. FML

#20994581
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41506) - you deserved it (5807)

On 12/16/2013 at 11:44am - misc - by abc123 (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my cousin started sending sarcastic love messages to me. I replied, with even cheesier lines. Then she rang me saying she was so glad I felt the same way. Turns out she wasn't being sarcastic. FML

#20991120
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46330) - you deserved it (7570)

On 12/13/2013 at 10:10am - love - by wth? - United Kingdom (Rotherham)

Today, I received a poorly-written letter from my asshole neighbor in which he threatened to "sew" me because my dog shat on his lawn again. I went over, asked if he needed some wool for his sewing, and told him to stop being an idiot. Now he's apparently hiring a lawyer for real. FML

#20981890
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37474) - you deserved it (20727)

On 12/05/2013 at 5:26pm - misc - by possibly a sweater (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was driving home, when a truck overtook me. Two of the Christmas trees it was carrying fell off straight into my bumper. The car behind me pulled over, but instead of seeing if I was okay, he just went to see whether or not either of the trees was in good enough shape to take home. FML

#20981618
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33430) - you deserved it (2265)

On 12/05/2013 at 12:41pm - health - by mooselord (man) - United States

Today, I went to pick up my little brother from his friend's house. When I got there, he ran off screaming that he didn't know me. His friend's parents believed him. FML

#20971159
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39917) - you deserved it (2703)

On 11/26/2013 at 8:07am - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I realized how amazing I've become at faking orgasms: I made up everything from the noises of my juices to pure, blissful climax over the phone to my husband. He came; I finished putting laundry away. FML

#20955991
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42875) - you deserved it (11197)

On 11/13/2013 at 1:40am - intimacy - by CanWeAllGetOne - United States (Texas)

Today, I had to take my 15-year-old son to the hospital. He'd gone out dressed as some My Little Pony character and encountered someone who'd had the same idea. They then got into a fistfight, and my son got the shit beaten out of him. I wish I'd never bred. FML

#20940283
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38601) - you deserved it (7824)

On 10/31/2013 at 2:27pm - kids - by anna (woman) - United States (Mississippi)

Today, my mother came over to visit, and my kids started excitedly telling her Christmas is coming soon. She freaked out, saying Christmas is a "Satanic holiday" and telling them that Santa is going to hell along with everyone who celebrates it. My children are now traumatized. FML

#20933801
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39785) - you deserved it (3099)

On 10/25/2013 at 7:20pm - kids - by Jane M (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I had an anxiety attack when I learned that my favorite book series is coming to the end. I had to leave the store and sit in my car. FML

#20930715
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34018) - you deserved it (7363)

On 10/23/2013 at 12:43am - health - by Anonymous - Canada (Manitoba)



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