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Yanchi's FML badges
You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.
Yanchi's favorite FMLs
by piss off / 04/08/2016 at 6:05pm / United States (Washington) / Work
Today, I finally felt ready to lose my virginity with my boyfriend. Unfortunately he was too embarrassed to go and buy some condoms, and suggested in all seriousness that we use a sandwich bag instead. FML
by angelisa / 11/21/2015 at 9:54am / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, my parents pranked me hard. They spent breakfast messing with my head, all to convince me that I was dreaming. I got so excited at finally having a lucid dream that I ran outside in my pajamas, yelling "Woo-hoo!" and trying to fly. Nothing happened. People saw. FML
by Anonymous / 10/02/2015 at 6:22pm / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous
Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex when halfway through, he leaned over to grab his cup of hot coffee off the nightstand. He then attempted to drink it and spilled most of it on me. He never stopped thrusting the whole time, and wanted to continue after. FML
by Anonymous / 09/21/2015 at 9:00am / United States (Colorado) / Intimacy
Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend. It lasted about 20 seconds, and he cried during it. I later heard him telling his friends he'd given me a "damn good pounding" and "made her cum 3 times". I wish. FML
by Lady Vulva of the Redwater / 09/18/2015 at 10:56pm / Intimacy
Today, the girl I like at work surprised me in the otherwise empty break room. She caught me taking part in what might as well have been the Ball-Scratching Olympics. I didn't notice she was behind me until she cleared her throat to get my attention. Shit. FML
by ballthlete / 09/06/2015 at 12:55am / United States (Oklahoma) / Miscellaneous
Today, I lost my virginity. The most memorable aspect of it wasn't the fact that my boyfriend finished after two thrusts, but rather the fact that he first said, "The pilot has entered the cockpit." FML
by henhouse / 07/18/2015 at 7:09am / Australia (Victoria) / Intimacy
Today, while lifeguarding over children at work, I started thinking about my girlfriend and got a hard on. Before I realized it, I saved a kid and then hopped out of the pool next to a 5 year old in front of my managers and a little over 50 patrons with a raging boner. My HR meeting is tomorrow. FML
by notacreep / 07/06/2015 at 1:28pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, I brought my best friend home and told my dad we were going to study together. He loudly replied "Woah!", stumbled around for a few seconds like he was drunk, then apologized and said the "sheer amount of gayness" between us had overloaded his gaydar. We're not gay, dammit! FML
by notgay / 06/21/2015 at 2:04am / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous
Today, I told my boyfriend I was horny and was waiting for him at my place. 30 minutes later, he still hadn't arrived, so I called him and asked if he was coming. He replied "Already did, right into a kleenex." and hung up. FML
by Anonymous / 06/04/2015 at 8:26am / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, I lost my virginity to the girl of my dreams. I could tell she really enjoyed it, because she muttered "Well, that was disappointing." afterwards, then got dressed, said she'd made a huge mistake, and asked me not to call her again. Yep, total stud. FML
by Anonymous / 05/01/2015 at 10:22pm / United States (California) / Love
Today, I started having chest pains and shortness of breath. I thought I was having a heart attack and I asked my husband to take me to the hospital. He told me to wait because he'd just ordered a pizza. FML
by Anonymous / 04/05/2015 at 8:27am / United States (Oklahoma) / Health
Today, a man asked me for directions outside of a local store. After about five minutes into the conversation, I noticed he had whipped his penis out and was stroking it. He then asked me if I liked what I saw. FML
by sammy18f / 02/23/2015 at 10:46pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy
by briiiiiiii123 / 01/12/2015 at 2:56am / United States (New York) / Intimacy
by Extravirgin / 12/16/2014 at 7:01am / Germany (Bayern) / Intimacy