Xynie

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Offline (the 04/08/2016 at 4:33pm)

Xynie

6Fucked!

Xynie
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 17 January 1996 (20 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 539
  • Number of comments : 23
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About Xynie : Ice Snorting Goats

Xynie's page activity

Visits<b>EoinDonnelly</b> - the 07/09/2016 at 11:48am<b>worldfamous00</b> - the 04/09/2016 at 8:39pm<b>Toonice45</b> - the 04/09/2016 at 2:39pm<b>Rintarok5</b> - the 03/30/2016 at 1:46am<b>kayydeann</b> - the 03/30/2016 at 1:06am<b>dom_g</b> - the 03/30/2016 at 12:31am<b>Jayroc</b> - the 03/29/2016 at 8:06pm<b>alcalaboy5</b> - the 03/29/2016 at 6:29pm<b>Kruitdamp</b> - the 03/29/2016 at 4:51pm<b>AndyPandy918</b> - the 03/08/2016 at 5:53am<b>AyeTee77</b> - the 03/07/2016 at 10:27pm<b>huxuda</b> - the 03/07/2016 at 9:50pm<b>yayhoo16</b> - the 03/07/2016 at 9:07pm<b>Jesmassimo</b> - the 03/07/2016 at 6:23pm<b>tin_cup</b> - the 02/23/2016 at 8:43pm<b>Jake42100</b> - the 02/23/2016 at 8:18pm<b>sdlr32787</b> - the 02/23/2016 at 5:51pm<b>infantrysoldier</b> - the 02/15/2016 at 6:08pm

Fucked!<b>Toonice45</b> - the 03/30/2016 at 4:40am<b>Jake42100</b> - the 02/24/2016 at 2:18am<b>AyeTee77</b> - the 09/15/2015 at 3:23am<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 08/14/2015 at 9:16pm<b>JMichael</b> - the 07/24/2015 at 5:27am<b>sdlr32787</b> - the 07/12/2015 at 7:08pm

Xynie's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

See all of Xynie's badges

Xynie's favorite FMLs

Today, I heard a noise outside in the middle of the night, so I went out for a look. I'm also pregnant and can't stop farting. I get 2 steps outside and accidentally let a huge one rip, then, from the shadows I hear "Oh my god!" and then running in the opposite direction. I farted away a prowler. FML

by Gassy / 09/21/2015 at 10:45am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous

Today, the professor I've had a crush on informed me that there's only one way left I could still pass his course. Thinking this was an attempt to flirt with me, I told him I'd do anything he could imagine. He then looked confused when he asked me to write an essay. FML

by notwhatithought / 08/21/2015 at 3:43pm / Germany (Bayern) / Miscellaneous

Today, I screamed like a little girl and scrambled to climb atop the toilet seat when I saw a cockroach running around our bathroom. My 5-year-old nephew came in, slapped it to death and said not to be scared, because he'll always protect me. FML

by MyBallsForSaleOnEbay / 08/21/2015 at 11:25am / Malta / Kids

Today, I accidentally dropped and shattered my small bathroom mirror. My sister came to see what was going on, took one look at the shattered mirror, and said, "About time you put it out if its misery." FML

by fuck you btichass cuntshit / 08/20/2015 at 12:18pm / United States (Vermont) / Miscellaneous

Today, my 13-year-old daughter and I went to a tropical themed restaurant. She wanted a strawberry Daiquiri, so I asked the waitress for a virgin strawberry Daiquiri. My daughter then said, "But dad, I'm not a virgin." FML

by Anonymous / 07/11/2013 at 10:24am / United States / Intimacy

Today, as a joke, my friends pushed me into the men's restroom and held the door shut. As I was trying to push the door open, I heard a voice behind me say, "Wow. Immaturity, huh?" I turned to find a guy taking a dump in one of the urinals. FML

by Anonymous / 07/01/2013 at 1:50am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I witnessed a large woman pee on a pregnancy test in the middle of a Walmart parking lot, clean herself off, then wander around with the test hanging out of her mouth, waiting for her result. Where in the name of Christ do these people come from? FML

by Anonymous / 06/02/2013 at 2:10pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I walked into the living room to find my 11-year-old daughter about to kiss her "not my boyfriend" on the lips. When I asked what she thought she was doing, she peeled a piece of scotch tape off her lips and said, "It's okay! We're using protection." FML

by wtfmama / 05/04/2013 at 8:51am / United States (Wisconsin) / Kids

Today, I came home in tears over finding out my boyfriend has been cheating on me. I told my seemingly sympathetic dad everything. His advice was to lure them both to our house with the promise of a three-way, after which he'd "kill the shit" out of them. Real mature, dad. FML

by immaturity all around / 03/31/2013 at 1:55pm / United States / Love

Today, while having sex with my husband, he went soft. When I asked him what happened he said, "I'm about to fall asleep." He then plopped down on my chest and began to snore. FML

by Anonymous / 03/09/2013 at 3:56am / United States / Intimacy

Today, I learned that my big, tough, strong dog is terrified of spiders when he jumped, knocked over a table and then peed on the spider to drown it. FML

by DogLover / 02/06/2013 at 8:59am / United States (New York) / Animals

Today, as usual, my cat was sleeping on my stomach. I couldn't fall asleep so I delicately picked him up and put him down next to me. He got up, hopped back onto me, gave me a slap and then went back to sleep on my stomach. I didn't dare move all night. FML

by dormeur / 01/18/2013 at 6:39am / Animals

Today, my boyfriend and I gave each other early Christmas gifts. I gave him a basketball signed by his favorite player, which took me forever to find. He got me diet pills. FML

by tarynfaye / 12/21/2011 at 6:28am / United States / Love

Today, I was getting intimate with my husband on our anniversary day. He climbed on top of me and firmly placed his penis on my nose. When I asked him what the hell he was doing, he burst into laughter and said I looked just like Squidward. FML

by Anonymous / 10/26/2011 at 7:44pm / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy

Today, I had a job interview. When I got there, the lady interviewing me shook my hand and said, 'Hello, I'm gay.' I found this strange and I didn't know what to say, so I stated, 'Aw, it's OK, I support you.' She looked pretty offended, and I realized why when I found out that her name was Gaye. FML

by Anonymous / 11/04/2010 at 5:18am / United States (Michigan) / Work