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XxeftxX

Offline (the 03/25/2015 at 6:01am) | Search for a member

XxeftxX

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  • Number of visits : 4197
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  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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XxeftxX's FML badges

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

See all of XxeftxX's badges

XxeftxX's favorite FMLs

Today, I was chased out of my own house by my wife's lover's dog. FML

#21352647
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35528) - you deserved it (2788)

On 02/09/2015 at 9:53am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my Breaking Bad obsessed boyfriend actually used the phrase "I am the one who cocks." during foreplay. My vagina just about turned into a desert on the spot. FML

#21347719
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30185) - you deserved it (3294)

On 02/01/2015 at 11:17am - intimacy - by SKYYYLLLARRRR!!!! (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I walked in on my husband jacking off to a photo of himself. FML

#21346857
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35039) - you deserved it (3668)

On 01/30/2015 at 3:16pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I was playing Charades. My boyfriend, who I'd recently had a fight with, had trouble and just said his answer was the name of my celebrity twin. Nobody got it. He said "Really? It's Fat Bastard." Stunned silence followed, broken by a single "HAH." from my 'best friend'. FML

#21340816
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29438) - you deserved it (3390)

On 01/20/2015 at 6:04am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, while trying some new kinky things with my boyfriend, he cried out, "Call me Jesus!" Yeah... I think we're done with that. FML

#21340673
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29148) - you deserved it (3505)

On 01/19/2015 at 11:42pm - intimacy - by BDSM4Jesus - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my crush was giving me a ride home. As we pulled up to my house, he looked into my eyes with a sweet smile and said the words every girl wants to hear - "Do you give head?" FML

#21339980
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35638) - you deserved it (5302)

On 01/19/2015 at 12:35am - intimacy - by anon - United States (Texas)

Today, my father was playing with my son and his toy animals. He picked one up and said, "What is this? Some kind of African horse?" It was a zebra. FML

Today, I accidentally texted my mother instead of my drug dealer. FML

#21324443
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16770) - you deserved it (47823)

On 12/26/2014 at 12:39am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, on a first date with a guy, I spilled ice cream all over my pants. He bought me some more, and as I was thanking him, he said, "You've never had a guy treat you right, have you?" I said no and started crying. FML

#21322290
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39274) - you deserved it (4364)

On 12/22/2014 at 8:28pm - love - by Soulara89 (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, a customer came in with a laptop smashed beyond repair. She asked if we could recover her files, but thanks to my idiot boss' new store policy I had to ask her a bunch of questions, including if she had tried "turning it on and off". She stared at me, speechless, like I was a complete moron. FML

#21321539
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34525) - you deserved it (3739)

On 12/21/2014 at 2:08pm - work - by anonix (man) - Canada

Today, while hanging out with this guy I'm interested in, we turned and made eye contact. We were face to face and I thought he was finally going to kiss me. He decided to lick my face from chin to forehead instead. FML

#21320716
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31872) - you deserved it (4161)

On 12/20/2014 at 2:33am - love - by qyx3lmnop24 - United States (California)

Today, I was having a nice conversation with my fiancé when he said out of nowhere, "I sold some of your panties". I thought he was joking so I said I hoped they weren't any of my favorites. He wasn't joking, though, and now some stranger from Craigslist owns my panties. FML

#21317090
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30314) - you deserved it (2773)

On 12/14/2014 at 12:15am - misc - by konacoffee17 - United States (Oregon)

Today, my dad and grandpa came to a charity event that I helped set up for people who have autism. I appreciated their support, until I heard my dad say "Man, some of these 'tards are pretty hot." and my grandpa replying "Yeah. Probably like dead fish in bed, though." FML

#21316987
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32740) - you deserved it (2534)

On 12/13/2014 at 9:02pm - misc - by ashamed (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I was trying to turn my boyfriend on with dirty texts. When he said "I'm horny," I teasingly replied, "Whoops, did I do that?" His reply? "Huh? Naw i'm watching sum porn". FML

#21316711
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29801) - you deserved it (5249)

On 12/13/2014 at 11:03am - intimacy - by giantcuntflaps (woman) - Australia

Today, I thought it would be cute to put on a Santa hat and ask my crush what he wanted for Christmas. He said "A girlfriend." I took off my Santa hat and yelled "Ta-da!" He added, "An ATTRACTIVE girlfriend." FML

#21308095
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38606) - you deserved it (4683)

On 11/29/2014 at 11:28am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)



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