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Offline (the 10/21/2016 at 10:11pm)



  • Town/Country : Knoxville, United States
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 26 February 1996 (20 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1063
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Xtraxt's page activity

Visits<b>Tripartita</b> - the 06/20/2016 at 8:02pm<b>Sunflora219</b> - the 01/24/2016 at 11:17pm<b>hi_im_ughlee</b> - the 12/21/2015 at 6:26pm<b>mcore</b> - the 08/01/2015 at 3:33am<b>carl_carl_</b> - the 07/29/2015 at 12:37pm<b>Amber_Naomy</b> - the 03/02/2015 at 4:30pm<b>rutalking2me</b> - the 02/20/2015 at 9:25pm<b>leidymedinaf</b> - the 02/20/2015 at 8:43pm<b>captainsmegma</b> - the 12/16/2014 at 10:00pm<b>JoshArson</b> - the 11/26/2014 at 4:47am<b>michouchoubou</b> - the 10/12/2014 at 5:51am<b>Garrett2818</b> - the 09/10/2014 at 1:12pm<b>BBlah</b> - the 07/24/2014 at 4:00am<b>Ghost_Kaulitz</b> - the 07/09/2014 at 7:52pm<b>vlalam</b> - the 07/06/2014 at 3:13pm<b>thisguy184</b> - the 01/10/2014 at 1:57pm<b>JessicaRenee95</b> - the 12/02/2013 at 10:30pm<b>KaylaMarie00</b> - the 11/09/2013 at 10:13pm

Xtraxt's FML badges

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

The Thumb returns

You have thumbed 5000 comments.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

See all of Xtraxt's badges

Xtraxt's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend came over for the first time to meet my parents. The first words out of my dad's mouth were, "Son, I want you to suck upon my nipples of knowledge." FML

by leahrb / 02/24/2016 at 1:55pm / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous

Today, I told my boyfriend that I love him. He replied, dead serious, "That's nice and all, but anal speaks louder than words." FML

by not impressed / 10/09/2015 at 2:27pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy

Today, while cleaning my son's room, I found an envelope labelled "PRIVATE AND CONFIDENTIAL" under his bed. I opened it, only to find it was a glitter bomb. I couldn't get it all cleaned off myself before he got home. He just said "HAH! Serves you right!" and went to his room smirking. FML

by Anonymous / 02/28/2015 at 1:11pm / United States (Oregon) / Kids

Today, it was the day my catheter was to be removed. The nurse removing it deflated the balloon, and then tried pulling it out. After me screaming in extreme pain, she found out she hadn't actually deflated the balloon all the way. She was trying to pull a small balloon through my dick hole. FML

Today, my professor cancelled class so I turned off my alarm. When I woke up, I checked my email again. There was no email from my professor. It was a dream. FML

by DreamsDontComeTrue / 02/05/2015 at 1:15am / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous

Today, my dad and grandpa came to a charity event that I helped set up for people who have autism. I appreciated their support, until I heard my dad say "Man, some of these 'tards are pretty hot." and my grandpa replying "Yeah. Probably like dead fish in bed, though." FML

by ashamed / 12/13/2014 at 9:02pm / Australia (Queensland) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was a bit upset to learn that my 13 year-old daughter had a boyfriend. When she noticed, she assured me that I shouldn't worry, because "it's just for sex anyway". FML

by aprouddaddy / 12/04/2014 at 6:46pm / Kids

Today, while using a public toilet, a guy started pissing beside me at the urinal. The breach of bathroom etiquette then escalated to him taking a long look down at me and saying "Nice sack, dude." followed by him finishing up and leaving without even washing his hands. FML

by Anonymous / 11/20/2014 at 11:35am / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous

Today, my little sister had her second son. She is 31 and she named her sons after her favorite television characters, Sam and Dean Winchester. She has made it her life goal to make sure her husband never finds out. FML

by mykodu / 10/02/2014 at 4:29pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids

Today, I complimented a guy on his beard. His response? "Thanks. Wanna sit on it?" FML

Today, my fiancé said "Rachel" instead of my name when asked to repeat, "I take thee, Emily, to be my lawfully wedded wife." I was shocked, so he explained while laughing that he doesn't even know a Rachel. He ruined our wedding for a Friends quote. FML

by Emliy / 08/01/2014 at 1:06am / United States (Illinois) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, at my first day working at Walmart, a customer asked if we have any egg cookers. I said I wasn't sure, but that I'd be "eggstatic" to go ask for him. The first clue I got to suggest he hated puns was him yelling "Don't get smart with me, boy!" and then threatening to kill me. FML

by fuckmyjob / 06/19/2014 at 4:10pm / United States (Louisiana) / Work

Today, I sent my girlfriend a request to confirm our relationship on Facebook. She accepted, then changed her screen name into "His Hand". FML

by MiserableMan / 06/10/2014 at 12:02am / Vietnam (Ho Chi Minh) / Love

Today, I was playing some soccer with my buddies, when a kid came over, yelled "CUP CHECK!" and nailed me in the nuts then ran away laughing. Millions of my unborn children died in agony. All his fatass mom did was chuckle nervously and pat her satan-spawn on the head. FML

by wish his dad had worn one / 06/07/2014 at 5:16pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Health

Today, I was bored at work, so I started browsing the Internet. While I was on my Facebook page, my boss tagged me in a status: "I've been standing behind you for ten minutes." FML

by notbrowsingnow / 05/08/2014 at 7:46pm / United States / Work