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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2594
  • Number of comments : 218
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Xquisite1's page activity

Visits<b>xLeeLee</b> - 18 hours ago<b>man_in_black08</b> - yesterday at 1:26pm<b>Tripartita</b> - yesterday at 11:46am<b>Garktok</b> - the 11/27/2015 at 9:52am<b>derpina72</b> - the 11/15/2015 at 1:24am<b>pancakebob15</b> - the 10/29/2015 at 10:39pm<b>8Dirty1</b> - the 10/28/2015 at 9:46pm<b>redhead_sprhro</b> - the 10/12/2015 at 12:36am<b>captmiller1</b> - the 10/11/2015 at 10:53pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 10/04/2015 at 1:56pm<b>ligerzero459</b> - the 09/26/2015 at 4:20pm<b>youngmessi252525</b> - the 09/19/2015 at 12:53pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 09/19/2015 at 10:18am<b>msteachernerd</b> - the 09/15/2015 at 8:39pm<b>khoov19</b> - the 09/02/2015 at 12:55am<b>klawzor</b> - the 08/23/2015 at 2:15am<b>Crazyjohnb</b> - the 08/19/2015 at 10:49pm<b>hard_candy</b> - the 08/16/2015 at 11:40pm

Fucked!<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 09/19/2015 at 4:18pm<b>khoov19</b> - the 09/02/2015 at 6:55am<b>hard_candy</b> - the 08/17/2015 at 5:40am<b>mirrriam</b> - the 07/04/2015 at 10:00am<b>ChoolyBooly</b> - the 05/05/2015 at 8:07pm<b>Desi_D123</b> - the 04/05/2015 at 5:54am<b>CCRider</b> - the 10/28/2014 at 2:48pm

Xquisite1's FML badges

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

See all of Xquisite1's badges

Xquisite1's favorite FMLs

Today, I was on the bus home from work when I felt something strange in my hair. I turned to look, and saw the old woman next to me sucking on the end of my hair. When she noticed me staring, she didn't stop but instead said, "So pretty. Can I have?" FML

Today, I set my cup of coffee down on the stall floor to take care of my business. A hand reached under the stall door and took my coffee. I yelled to give it back, calling them obscene names. Moments later, my fresh coffee came flying over the door. I'm burned from my head to my legs. FML


I agree, your life sucks (25184) - you deserved it (9370)

On 11/10/2015 at 10:54am - misc - by CoffeeStained - United States (Kentucky)

Today, another idiot was admitted to my hospital with a foreign object up his ass. Yet again, the excuse went along the lines of "I tripped and fell on it." Please, someone tell me how you can accidentally trip anus-first onto the end of a cucumber, which just so happens to have a condom on it. FML


I agree, your life sucks (32410) - you deserved it (2347)

On 06/26/2015 at 9:21pm - work - by Idiot says "HIPAA violation" (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I met my sister's fiancé. I would have been happier for her if he hadn't been mine a month ago when I introduced them. FML


I agree, your life sucks (41186) - you deserved it (3078)

On 11/19/2014 at 3:27am - love - by MissAggravared - United States (Idaho)

Today, I saw a bulge in my friend's pocket. I poked it and asked, "What'cha got there?" He said, "Uh, that's my dick, Mike." FML


I agree, your life sucks (46217) - you deserved it (29476)

On 08/12/2014 at 1:05pm - intimacy - by not a dick-man (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my mom visited. While she was using the bathroom, my man-child of a husband thought it would be funny to knock on the bathroom door with his penis, thinking it was me in there. She opened the door to find him standing there doing the "helicopter". FML


I agree, your life sucks (59876) - you deserved it (6314)

On 11/25/2013 at 12:22am - intimacy - by LadyLola (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was escorted out of a grocery store for beating my boyfriend with a block of cheese. FML

Today, at my boyfriend's brother's house, I desperately needed to poop. After finishing my business, I realized the toilet wouldn't flush. I had to pull my poop out, wrap it in TP and make an excuse to go outside to throw it in a bush. The neighbor was watching. FML


I agree, your life sucks (44107) - you deserved it (12050)

On 09/09/2013 at 6:05pm - misc - by heyhijello - United States (California)

Today, while using a restroom in Walmart, an old lady with a cane hobbled in screaming, "I smell someone making sin!" She would not stop tapping on the door with her cane till I came out. FML


I agree, your life sucks (44683) - you deserved it (3034)

On 07/28/2013 at 10:16pm - health - by DreamStatic - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was using a public toilet, when someone in the next stall reached under, grabbed at my low-hanging toilet paper and pulled at it at an insane speed, whispering some kind of weird chant. Then he suddenly stopped, screamed, and ran out. What the hell happened in there? FML


I agree, your life sucks (50921) - you deserved it (3392)

On 06/13/2013 at 12:01pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, the crazy son of a bitch who lives next door to me once again got into a loud, rather one-sided argument with his cat. 20 minutes later, he knocked on my door, asking if he could stay at my place for a couple of days. The look he gave me when I said no has me fearing for my life. FML


I agree, your life sucks (56744) - you deserved it (4305)

On 06/05/2013 at 6:09pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, my boyfriend of three days met up with me at the movie theater, sporting a crude tattoo of my face on his cheek, along with a love heart and the word "forever." Looks like I'm single again. FML


I agree, your life sucks (38492) - you deserved it (4045)

On 01/20/2013 at 2:28pm - love - by maybe dead in a day (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, while at the grocery store, I saw my mother. I thought it would be funny to scare her by sneaking up and grabbing her ass. Not only was it not my mom, I left the place with a ban from ever returning to that store. FML


I agree, your life sucks (8018) - you deserved it (44601)

On 08/16/2012 at 5:09pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, at my job, an old lady kept calling her inhaler a blow job. I kindly explained to her why she couldn't call her inhaler that. She continued to ask me for a blow job in front of visitors. I had to say yes. FML


I agree, your life sucks (31109) - you deserved it (2672)

On 07/27/2012 at 12:46am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I walked into my upstairs bathroom to find my mom's new boyfriend eating soup, naked on the toilet. In shock, I stepped back and fell down a flight of stairs, backwards, and hit my head on wall, leaving a dent in it. FML


I agree, your life sucks (28221) - you deserved it (2216)

On 07/26/2012 at 1:14am - misc - by Lilragu97 - United States (New Hampshire)

C comme Line's illustrated FML

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  • Hi gang! It’s a day of national pride over near the FML offices. There's a time for everything, and even if the desire to piss about to release the tension is huge, we mustn’t forget that we can…

Friday 27 November 2015

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