Xquisite1

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Xquisite1

9Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 3325
  • Number of comments : 238
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Xquisite1's page activity

Visits<b>melpower</b> - the 08/26/2016 at 11:25pm<b>thunderniron</b> - the 07/20/2016 at 9:48pm<b>Mynxie</b> - the 07/17/2016 at 1:48am<b>UndeadCity9</b> - the 07/07/2016 at 10:53pm<b>Martinez0285</b> - the 06/30/2016 at 12:25am<b>trashyant</b> - the 06/26/2016 at 11:22pm<b>somelildude</b> - the 06/26/2016 at 10:24pm<b>ifuckuprandomly</b> - the 06/26/2016 at 10:08am<b>MamaChey</b> - the 06/19/2016 at 4:04pm<b>kokopuffs3</b> - the 06/19/2016 at 1:59am<b>Nathan_Henry</b> - the 06/18/2016 at 7:00pm<b>thatkidzach666</b> - the 06/18/2016 at 1:34pm<b>swenny_xoxo</b> - the 06/18/2016 at 1:20pm<b>RnLaLa</b> - the 06/18/2016 at 12:23pm<b>pandor</b> - the 06/18/2016 at 9:13am<b>etePdyS</b> - the 06/18/2016 at 8:54am<b>naajster</b> - the 06/18/2016 at 5:02am<b>Allornone</b> - the 06/18/2016 at 4:56am

Fucked!<b>pandor</b> - the 06/18/2016 at 3:13pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 09/19/2015 at 4:18pm<b>khoov19</b> - the 09/02/2015 at 6:55am<b>hard_candy</b> - the 08/17/2015 at 5:40am<b>mirrriam</b> - the 07/04/2015 at 10:00am<b>ChoolyBooly</b> - the 05/05/2015 at 8:07pm<b>Desi_D123</b> - the 04/05/2015 at 5:54am<b>CCRider</b> - the 10/28/2014 at 2:48pm

Xquisite1's FML badges

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

I never take things to heart

Having said that, my 3 comments on that FML were really worth it.

50 quality responses

Clicking reply to a comment is a worthy thing to do. To do so without getting buried is even better.

See all of Xquisite1's badges

Xquisite1's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend keeps requesting that I make eye contact when I give him blowjobs. He won't let up about it. I don't know how to break it to him that his penis is too small for me to suck and look upward at the same time. FML

by oh gee / 05/02/2016 at 1:01am / Intimacy

Today, my neighbor called the cops on me, all because he heard me speaking Arabic. I was on the phone with my grandmother in Egypt. FML

by Anonymous / 04/22/2016 at 11:26pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, an old man wanted to return a fryer. The box had blood smears all over it, so I told him no. He became irate and demanded a manager. Management said, "Hell no and don't touch that box." When I came back, he was licking a paper towel and attempting to wipe off the blood. FML

by leafynitemare / 03/08/2016 at 2:20pm / United States (California) / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, a customer brought his cat in to be euthanized. I told him to "have a nice day" as he was leaving. FML

by FootInMyMouth / 02/13/2016 at 5:56pm / United States (Florida) / Animals

Today, I was on the bus home from work when I felt something strange in my hair. I turned to look, and saw the old woman next to me sucking on the end of my hair. When she noticed me staring, she didn't stop but instead said, "So pretty. Can I have?" FML

by Koizumiii / 11/15/2015 at 1:47pm / United States (Virginia) / Transportation

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I set my cup of coffee down on the stall floor to take care of my business. A hand reached under the stall door and took my coffee. I yelled to give it back, calling them obscene names. Moments later, my fresh coffee came flying over the door. I'm burned from my head to my legs. FML

by CoffeeStained / 11/10/2015 at 10:54am / United States (Kentucky) / Miscellaneous

Today, another idiot was admitted to my hospital with a foreign object up his ass. Yet again, the excuse went along the lines of "I tripped and fell on it." Please, someone tell me how you can accidentally trip anus-first onto the end of a cucumber, which just so happens to have a condom on it. FML

by Idiot says "HIPAA violation" / 06/26/2015 at 9:21pm / United States (Virginia) / Work

Today, I met my sister's fiancé. I would have been happier for her if he hadn't been mine a month ago when I introduced them. FML

by MissAggravared / 11/19/2014 at 3:27am / United States (Idaho) / Love

Today, I saw a bulge in my friend's pocket. I poked it and asked, "What'cha got there?" He said, "Uh, that's my dick, Mike." FML

by not a dick-man / 08/12/2014 at 1:05pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy

Today, my mom visited. While she was using the bathroom, my man-child of a husband thought it would be funny to knock on the bathroom door with his penis, thinking it was me in there. She opened the door to find him standing there doing the "helicopter". FML

by LadyLola / 11/25/2013 at 12:22am / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy

Today, I was escorted out of a grocery store for beating my boyfriend with a block of cheese. FML

by cricketsins / 11/07/2013 at 10:33pm / United States (Tennessee) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, at my boyfriend's brother's house, I desperately needed to poop. After finishing my business, I realized the toilet wouldn't flush. I had to pull my poop out, wrap it in TP and make an excuse to go outside to throw it in a bush. The neighbor was watching. FML

by heyhijello / 09/09/2013 at 6:05pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, while using a restroom in Walmart, an old lady with a cane hobbled in screaming, "I smell someone making sin!" She would not stop tapping on the door with her cane till I came out. FML

by DreamStatic / 07/28/2013 at 10:16pm / United States (Georgia) / Health

Today, I was using a public toilet, when someone in the next stall reached under, grabbed at my low-hanging toilet paper and pulled at it at an insane speed, whispering some kind of weird chant. Then he suddenly stopped, screamed, and ran out. What the hell happened in there? FML

by Anonymous / 06/13/2013 at 12:01pm / United States (Minnesota) / Miscellaneous

Today, the crazy son of a bitch who lives next door to me once again got into a loud, rather one-sided argument with his cat. 20 minutes later, he knocked on my door, asking if he could stay at my place for a couple of days. The look he gave me when I said no has me fearing for my life. FML

by Anonymous / 06/05/2013 at 6:09pm / United Kingdom (Surrey) / Miscellaneous