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Xephyr

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Xephyr

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Monday 10 July 1995 (19 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 650
  • Number of comments : 86
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About Xephyr : Http://xluxaeternax.tumblr.com

Xephyr's page activity

Visits<b>ireply_wlyrics</b> - the 09/14/2013 at 6:32pm

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Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

Xephyr's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend actually held onto my love handles while we were having sex. He said they "made it easier." FML

#20039086
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22025) - you deserved it (8996)

On 08/24/2012 at 9:53am - intimacy - by chunkymonkey (woman) - United States

Today, I woke up and decided to make my mom a special Easter breakfast in bed. I pre-heated the oven to bake the sausage just the way she likes. Guess where my easter basket was. FML

#19429036
211 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26096) - you deserved it (5974)

On 04/08/2012 at 10:30am - misc - by jess - United States (Ohio)

Today, I had a dream in which I was arguing with my mom. In the dream, she threatened to hit me, and I told her I'd do it myself. I reared back and knocked the crap out of myself. I'm awake now, and my jaw still hurts. FML

#18519378
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19462) - you deserved it (4897)

On 12/15/2011 at 12:30pm - misc - by Grubendol - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I had a dream that I was trying to pop a balloon. Nothing I did was working, so I put it between my knees and tried to pop it that way. Immediately, I woke up to the sound of frantic hissing and meowing. As it turns out, I was trying to pop the cat. FML

#18312960
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33754) - you deserved it (5958)

On 11/21/2011 at 11:46pm - animals - by furryballoon (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I introduced my Chinese-born girlfriend to the rest of the family. My uncle immediately blurted out, "He's dating a communist." FML

#18242988
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31792) - you deserved it (4196)

On 11/14/2011 at 12:23am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, as I was walking back to my dorm, I looked down and thought "I wonder why the ground is wet in just this one spot." Then I got hit with a water balloon. FML

#18180694
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23356) - you deserved it (3694)

On 11/06/2011 at 11:50pm - misc - by Kirby - United States (Ohio)

Today, I got kicked in the crotch. It popped my cherry. I lost my virginity to a shoe. FML

#17779717
424 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53437) - you deserved it (5270)

On 09/19/2011 at 10:39am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my girlfriend and I were making out while she was laying on me. Her little brother walked in, saw us and yelled, "Mom they're swallowing each other!" FML

#17068940
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21919) - you deserved it (17560)

On 07/11/2011 at 5:08pm - intimacy - by tony456 (man) - United States (Vermont)

Today, whilst driving to the store, an idiot driver found it to be okay to drive ridiculously fast in below freezing temperatures on the ice and snow. As he passed my car, I angrily gave him the finger. And then I realized I was wearing mittens. FML

Today, I was in the car with my friends. A techno song came on and we started fist pumping. We hit a bump, I fist pumped myself in the face, and crashed into a stop sign. FML

#7803778
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9793) - you deserved it (45775)

On 02/02/2010 at 12:51am - misc - by wolfpacking - Sent from mobile version

Today, my friends thought it would be funny to try and break a watermelon on my head while I was asleep on the couch. FML

#7334131
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27374) - you deserved it (3108)

On 01/14/2010 at 3:46am - misc - by melonhead (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I retook my ACT. I have been fighting a cold all week and have been very sneezy lately. Midway through the test, I got the urge to sneeze. Since it was very quiet and I didn't want to disturb the peace, I tried to hold my sneeze in. I ended up letting out a huge fart instead. FML

#5672838
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31644) - you deserved it (8652)

On 10/05/2009 at 10:21pm - misc - by Sneezy123 (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was sitting around a bonfire when an ember landed on my crotch. Without thinking, I quickly slapped at it and hit myself square in the nuts. FML

#5655008
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10949) - you deserved it (33676)

On 10/05/2009 at 12:16am - health - by Painful (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I told my friend how I liked this girl but was too scared to ask her out. He told me "Why? The worst she's going to do is say no." Building confidence I approached her and asked her on a date. Then she replied "Get away douchebag!" and kicked me in the nuts. FML

#4423387
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53560) - you deserved it (4244)

On 08/10/2009 at 5:20am - love - by Rejected (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, In my science class I sit next to my friend Jill. My teacher always gets our names confused calling me Jill and her Liz. She decided to combine our names. I'm now known as Jizz. My teacher clearly has no idea what it means. FML

#2831839
287 comments

I agree, your life sucks (137609) - you deserved it (9824)

On 06/12/2009 at 2:50pm - misc - by mcullen21 (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)



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