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Xellith's favorite FMLs
Today, I was walking with my girlfriend of a year and a half on the beach. Everything was fine until she saw a plane with a banner behind it saying "Cassie, will you marry me?" She said yes. I didn't order a plane. FML
by ManInTrouble / 03/16/2010 at 12:50am / United States (California) / Love
Today, my son pooped in his diaper and managed to somehow take it off without my knowledge. He then sat down on the carpet and imitated a dog with worms, all the way down the hallway, through the living room, and into my bedroom. FML
by matchristityler / 02/09/2010 at 3:19am / United States (Texas) / Kids
by grrrr / 02/07/2010 at 7:35pm / United States / Kids
by Hugh_Jankles / 01/08/2010 at 1:48pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was making out with a really hot guy in a Jacuzzi. He had the biggest booger hanging out of his nostril, but I was too embarrassed to say anything to him about it. He went in for a kiss. Soon after our lips parted, he said, "Oh, you have big booger." FML
by Jennyfromdablock / 12/30/2009 at 10:28pm / United States (California) / Love
Today, I woke up at a strangers house after a long night of drinking. Before leaving, I decided to steal some mouthwash so I didn't smell like a liquor store. Thinking of the night before, I instinctively downed the Listerine like a shot and puked everywhere. FML
by jagerbombs / 12/30/2009 at 2:08pm / United States (Missouri) / Miscellaneous
Today, I took a friend home from the hospital. She was on medication that made her drowsy. She fell onto her bed and asked me to help her take off some clothes since she had her winter gear on. She passes out and her roommate walks in and catches me undressing an unconscious girl. FML
by Nemesis2747 / 12/24/2009 at 1:09am / United States (New York) / Love
Today, I was telling my entire cocktail party about the time I accidentally flashed my volleyball team at a pool party. While trying to demonstrate how it happened, I accidentally pulled my dress down and flashed everyone again. FML
by Anonymous / 12/23/2009 at 3:48pm / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous
Today, I texted my Dad to tell him I'm staying at my boyfriend's house and won't be home. Since I had predictive text on, my phone didn't quite get the word 'home' - the message I sent said, 'I'm staying at Will's, I'll not be good tonight.' FML
by embarrassed / 12/20/2009 at 7:26pm / United Kingdom (Belfast) / Love
by mannnnn2717 / 12/20/2009 at 5:41pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous
Today, I woke up to a quite frigid room, which wasn't out of the ordinary since my building's heat is broken. But I realized that the extra cold I was feeling was due to the snow piled up on my bed. It had snowed 20 inches last night. My mom had apparently opened my window. FML
by Lapis / 12/20/2009 at 2:42pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
by Catholicguy / 12/20/2009 at 3:14am / United States (California) / Love
by Anonymous / 12/11/2009 at 1:11pm / United States (California) / Work
Today, I saw a moth trapped in a spider web. Feeling gracious, I gently freed it, and then took it to the window to let it out. When I opened the window to set him free, my $300 air conditioner fell two stories and smashed on the sidewalk. The moth flew away. FML
by oops / 12/04/2009 at 12:23pm / United States (Utah) / Animals
by moon_paw / 11/28/2009 at 11:17am / United States (South Carolina) / Love
- 1Today, I found out my parents have been slipping birth control pills into my morning orange juice… 2Today, I found out my husband has been catfishing my sixteen year-old brother for over a year. FML 3Today, I babysat a kid who was such a bratty little prick that I actually considered walking out on…