Xathanos

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Xathanos

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Milingimbi, Australia
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2610
  • Number of comments : 110
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

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Xathanos's page activity

Visits<b>Phenix01</b> - the 04/04/2016 at 1:12pm<b>CheekyRaccoon</b> - the 03/15/2016 at 6:31am<b>karacakal2</b> - the 10/26/2015 at 6:17am<b>carlyggibby</b> - the 08/07/2015 at 1:05am<b>mikeman1744</b> - the 06/22/2015 at 3:01pm<b>sanuxo_</b> - the 12/23/2014 at 6:56pm<b>Suchadiva</b> - the 11/18/2014 at 7:51pm<b>kelseysking</b> - the 11/18/2014 at 2:24pm<b>sofaqueen_</b> - the 11/18/2014 at 1:25pm<b>RobotUnicorn1209</b> - the 09/20/2014 at 4:57pm<b>sandy20000</b> - the 09/17/2014 at 4:09pm<b>StupidMonkey497</b> - the 09/16/2014 at 11:08pm<b>dylanger16</b> - the 09/16/2014 at 8:18pm<b>MissHeartSihk</b> - the 08/23/2014 at 9:24pm<b>awesomepantTamia</b> - the 08/23/2014 at 6:47pm<b>I_Am_Lamp_</b> - the 08/23/2014 at 6:31pm<b>ilikeirony</b> - the 08/10/2014 at 1:42am<b>CraZedMadMan</b> - the 04/06/2014 at 9:31pm

Xathanos's FML badges

Happy Ending

Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”

Socialite

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Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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Xathanos's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to a Halloween party dressed as a pirate. Someone complimented me on how convincing the fake teeth were that I had on for my costume. I wasn't wearing fake teeth. FML

by iliveformystery / 10/31/2014 at 11:56am / United States (Wisconsin) / Miscellaneous

Today, I stumbled across one of my son's English assignments. Apparently, he decided to submit a haiku about how electrical outlets are technically "whores" because they hook up with countless cords for a "charge." I don't know whether to be amused or furious. FML

by MySonThePoet / 10/26/2014 at 10:42pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Kids

Today, I was driving with my grandma and she was going 30 over the speed limit. To slow her down, I said, "Hey look, the police". She slammed on the brakes so hard I hit my head on the dashboard. FML

by karmaaa / 10/16/2014 at 4:56pm / United States (Iowa) / Transportation

Today, I asked my dad to take me to the store so I could get some feminine hygiene products. When we got there, he went running down the aisles yelling, "Help! My daughter's bleeding to death! Where're the tampons?!" FML

by tbree / 09/19/2014 at 6:38pm / United States (California) / Health

Today, my sister felt guilty and told me about the changes she secretly made to my résumé months ago. She'd put "doing your mom" and "corporate espionage" as my hobbies, and "Justin Bieber's pussy waxer" as a previous job. No wonder I'm still unemployed. FML

by fuck you, tasha / 08/24/2014 at 5:50pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Work

Today, my dad asked me how I would feel about going on an all-expenses-paid, month-long holiday to the Caribbean. I was ecstatic and broke into tears of joy, saying I'd love it. He replied, "Yeah, me too. Shame it ain't happening!" then left for work, laughing his arse off. FML

by xXshitface4uXx / 07/25/2014 at 6:46pm / New Zealand (Bay of Plenty) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was doing a design sketch for work. I snapped a pic and sent it to my boss. She replied, "Impressive. Nice sketch too." I was drawing at home, naked. My dick was in the picture. FML

by Ballsy427 / 07/25/2014 at 8:05am / United States (Armed Forces Pacific) / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I went to my weekly AA meeting. It was a huge crowd and I was the guest speaker. Not 5 minutes into my speech, I was booed off stage and banned from further attendance because I accidentally wore a Jack Daniel's shirt. FML

by dypshyyt / 07/22/2014 at 7:20pm / United States (Florida) / Health

Today, I went to a market. I saw stall which had mainly animal furs and things like that. I found a rounded, furry pen and stroked my cheek with it. Wondering what it was, being so soft and oddly shaped, I checked the tag. It was kangaroo testicles. FML

by happypineapple / 07/16/2014 at 11:31pm / Australia (Queensland) / Animals

Today, I discovered the downside to having a "sneak-attacks-allowed" tickle war with my 4-year-old son. I had to explain to several outraged strangers at the supermarket why my son kept flinching and pulling away whenever I made any sudden movements near him. FML

by Anonymous / 07/13/2014 at 12:04pm / United States (Florida) / Kids

Today, I went on a date and ate in the park. When I crossed my legs under the table, I scraped my knee and got a lot of splinters in it. When I got back home and started digging out the splinters, my dad furiously demanded to know why I'd been on my knees during the date. FML

by Anonymous / 07/11/2014 at 9:36pm / United States (Idaho) / Health

Today, my husband thought it would be hilarious to slip a little fake blood into the bathtub while I was relaxing in it, eyes closed. When I opened my eyes, the water was one big cloud of red. I screamed so loud that I might as well have been dying, and yes, he recorded everything. FML

by N O / 05/27/2014 at 2:47pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love

Today, my boyfriend saw my boobs for the first time. His reaction was, "Well that's... disappointing". FML

by Anonymous / 05/14/2014 at 11:54am / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous

Today, I decided to shave my balls. When I was finished, I vacuumed up the mess on the carpet, and then the fragments of hair still on my balls. Very bad idea. FML

by BadIdea / 03/01/2012 at 4:23pm / France / Intimacy

Today, the boy I tutor failed his math test. As a result, the family fired me. The boy failed because he forgot to write his name at the top. FML

by Fairy31 / 02/29/2012 at 7:01pm / United States (Connecticut) / Kids