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Xanster82

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Xanster82

3Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 11 March 1985 (30 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 33484
  • Number of comments : 222
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 20 posted

About Xanster82 : Fatty.

Xanster82's page activity

Visits<b>Jayroc</b> - the 06/25/2015 at 3:28pm<b>jacob_coryell98</b> - the 06/24/2015 at 5:11am<b>Monday_funday</b> - the 06/21/2015 at 5:00pm<b>ImZacko</b> - the 06/18/2015 at 9:08am<b>Rented_eyebrows</b> - the 06/15/2015 at 11:49pm<b>carlfirebolt</b> - the 06/13/2015 at 11:34pm<b>redlight98</b> - the 06/13/2015 at 6:17pm<b>missmorggan</b> - the 06/10/2015 at 2:56pm<b>kyranstar</b> - the 06/07/2015 at 3:11am<b>Mario_mane</b> - the 06/06/2015 at 8:29am<b>Jax_Ashnarr</b> - the 06/02/2015 at 8:10am<b>mergeterge</b> - the 05/23/2015 at 11:42am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/01/2015 at 5:08pm<b>HarryHirsch</b> - the 04/29/2015 at 5:03am<b>Jae_Hellyun</b> - the 04/28/2015 at 3:26am<b>bassfisher100</b> - the 04/26/2015 at 9:18am<b>Timmster007</b> - the 04/25/2015 at 11:58am<b>johj</b> - the 04/20/2015 at 2:24pm

Fucked!<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/01/2015 at 11:08pm<b>c_wyld</b> - the 04/03/2015 at 6:36pm<b>casey_ct</b> - the 03/07/2015 at 7:03am

Xanster82's FML badges

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

See all of Xanster82's badges

Xanster82's favorite FMLs

Today, the kids I babysit hid from me. While I was looking for them, I stepped on multiple strategically-placed Lego bricks. When I yelped from the pain, the kids jumped out and threw soccer balls in my face. FML

#20556944
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39171) - you deserved it (4868)

On 03/23/2013 at 7:47pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I walked into the room naked while my wife was on the computer to surprise her. She smiled, put down her laptop and left for the bathroom so I started jerking it in anticipation. It was really feeling good until my wife's best friend, who was on Skype, started giggling. FML

#20550602
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49310) - you deserved it (22037)

On 03/19/2013 at 8:31am - intimacy - by fredo (man) - United States (Iowa)

Today, I met the man of my dreams. We saw a movie, then went to a bar. It went perfectly, until he got wasted and started singing "Never Gonna Give You Up" to me while everyone laughed. Then I woke up, having just been Rickrolled by my own subconscious. FML

#20540752
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34792) - you deserved it (5188)

On 03/12/2013 at 12:43pm - misc - by ShadowBox (man) - Netherlands (Gelderland)

Today, I was caught "experimenting" with my friend at his house. His parents called mine, and my dad came to drive me home. On the way back, he tried to cheer me up by saying, "Son, don't be ashamed. When I was your age, I sucked a few dicks myself." Thanks for the info, Dad. FML

#20539287
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49778) - you deserved it (24556)

On 03/11/2013 at 7:33am - intimacy - by ugh (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I went with my dad to Starbucks. There is this really cute guy who works there and he kept looking over at me, so I went over to say hi. He ended up asking if my dad was single. FML

#20538966
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43207) - you deserved it (4001)

On 03/11/2013 at 12:17am - love - by lonely girl - United States

Today, my girlfriend accused me of being a feeder, saying that's why she's been putting on so much weight. When I said it might be because she eats at McDonalds everyday, and that I was willing to start cooking low-calorie foods for us, she hit me. Then she went to McDonalds. FML

#20538059
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42228) - you deserved it (4894)

On 03/10/2013 at 12:03pm - love - by Raiden (man) - United Kingdom (Barnsley)

Today, a technician from my ISP came to my house to replace my router. He asked for a glass of water, one thing led to another, and for some reason I'll never fully understand, we ended up having sex. Looks like porn logic is not so far off the mark after all. FML

#20537010
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21887) - you deserved it (62149)

On 03/09/2013 at 1:50pm - intimacy - by je_regrette_tout (woman) - Sent from mobile version

Today, while mopping floors at the police station, an inmate pissed on the floor, demanded that I suck his dick, begged me for a glass of water and finally informed me that he would kill my family. I said nothing and he started weeping softly. I laughed, but slipped in his piss and broke my arm. FML

#20529783
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37948) - you deserved it (12714)

On 03/03/2013 at 5:21pm - work - by JimmyT (man) - Norway (Hordaland)

Today, I found out my girlfriend can do Heath Ledger's "Joker" voice perfectly. I'm not sure if I should be scared or impressed. FML

#20529319
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32229) - you deserved it (6468)

On 03/03/2013 at 11:05am - love - by nerdgirlmickey (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was taking my dog for a walk and forgot a bag to pick up his poop, since it's illegal to not pick it up in my town. Right as my dog started to take a dump, a cop car drove by and continued to watch me as I was forced to pick up the poop with my bare hands. FML

#20527973
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46673) - you deserved it (21322)

On 03/02/2013 at 10:32am - animals - by yikes - United States

Today, my wife packed my lunch. Inside of my lunchbox was a photo of her eating my sandwiches. FML

#20526564
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35675) - you deserved it (6803)

On 03/01/2013 at 2:18am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I walked outside to this guy attempting to steal my bike. When I asked him what he was doing he calmly replied, "I'm a bike inspector. You hooked your chain all wrong! This time is a warning; next time it'll be a ticket!" He then threw his full, opened Pepsi can at me. FML

#20524651
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27832) - you deserved it (2267)

On 02/27/2013 at 5:39pm - misc - by Chelsea - United States (Ohio)

Today, I gave birth to my daughter in a hospital corridor. The nurse who took me to my room afterward tried to comfort me by saying there've been worse incidents; she said that two years ago, a lady gave birth in the parking lot. That was me too. FML

#20521872
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57175) - you deserved it (4611) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 02/25/2013 at 2:47pm - health - by laprochainefoisjerestealamaison (woman) - France (Languedoc-Roussillon)

Today, my boyfriend made me play Slender. I was so terrified, I stopped playing 10 minutes in. Tonight, I kept hearing noises outside. When I peered out through the window, a bald figure in a suit was staring back at me. I shrieked in absolute terror; he burst out laughing. It was my boyfriend. FML

#20520443
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33455) - you deserved it (4983)

On 02/24/2013 at 4:20pm - misc - by stillfuckingcrying (woman) - Sweden (Kalmar Lan)



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