About Xanster82 : Fatty.
Xanster82's FML badges
You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
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Xanster82's favorite FMLs
by fartypants / 06/18/2015 at 6:53pm / United States (Florida) / Work
by bootyislife / 06/16/2015 at 4:01pm / United States (Washington) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 06/13/2015 at 10:26am / United States (California) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 06/05/2015 at 8:21am / Sweden (Vastra Gotaland) / Love
Today, I was walking home with my boyfriend, when a guy pulled a knife and told us to hand over our money. My boyfriend blurted "I don't have shit, dude! She has tons of cash!" The moment the mugger turned to me, my boyfriend ran away at top speed. FML
by kash / 06/01/2015 at 2:14pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 05/23/2015 at 3:03am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 05/21/2015 at 4:41pm / United States / Work
Today, I had an outdoor meeting with some important clients. It wasn't until the meeting was over that my coworker decided to inform me that I had bird poop in my hair "pretty much the entire time." FML
by lily_marleen / 05/17/2015 at 5:27pm / Germany (Bayern) / Work
Today, I was supporting my aunt as she gave birth. She was getting tired during the pushing stage, so I tried to encourage her by making a show of pushing as well with each contraction. I got a little too into it and accidentally gave birth to a little turd of my own. FML
by nityasomaiya / 05/16/2015 at 1:34am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous
Today, I wore a pair of shorts a size too big while doing laundry. When I ordered a pizza afterwards and answered the door, I realized I looked a little heavy, so I sucked in my stomach. My shorts fell to the ground in front of the delivery guy. FML
by oops / 05/11/2015 at 12:40pm / United States (Maryland) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 05/08/2015 at 12:59pm / India (Delhi) / Intimacy
Today, I got a text from a guy I hooked up with. I'm not really interested in him, so I rushed out of his house last night. He was letting me know I left my wallet at his house, and if I want it, I'll have to let him take me to dinner. FML
by Anonymous / 05/06/2015 at 1:44pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, I kept hearing a child creepily giggling in my living room. I couldn't sleep and got so scared that I started considering hiring an exorcist. Long story short: be careful if you have Bluetooth speakers, because your dickhead neighbor might hack them and start fucking with you. FML
by Anonymous / 04/29/2015 at 1:42pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
by fuck you / 04/26/2015 at 4:19am / United Kingdom (Sheffield) / Love
by RBergman / 04/25/2015 at 4:05pm / United States (Wyoming) / Love