About Xanster82 : Fatty.
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Xanster82's favorite FMLs
Today, my girlfriend's mother insisted she's not homophobic, but however people only 'turn gay' because they were sexually abused, or are 'making it up to get attention'. She informed me I'm the former and my girlfriend is the latter. Uh huh. FML
by Queerbait / 11/05/2015 at 1:52am / Australia / Love
Today, I saw the pumpkin I had put out for Halloween was starting to get mushy. I went to put it in a trash bag when it slipped out of my hands and burst over my knee. My dog heard the noise, ran into the kitchen and attacked me out of panic. FML
by downgirl / 11/04/2015 at 1:02am / United States (Oklahoma) / Animals
by duckthisspit / 10/31/2015 at 11:23pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Money
by guessthatsatrickthen / 10/31/2015 at 1:19pm / United Kingdom (Leeds) / Miscellaneous
by Fat Jon / 10/29/2015 at 3:43pm / Mexico (Distrito Federal) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was supposed to start my vacation in Italy. I guess not everyone heard that I canceled it due to health problems, because this morning I caught two of my "friends" unplugging my TV after breaking into my house. FML
by Anonymous / 10/28/2015 at 11:28am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I woke up at 2am and went to use the toilet. I sat there doing my business, when I heard a voice whisper my name from behind me. I live alone and the toilet is right up against the wall. I screamed and ran back to my room, then went without sleep for the rest of the night. FML
by haunted / 10/23/2015 at 4:41pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous
by CalebLawrence / 10/22/2015 at 7:16pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 10/21/2015 at 8:12am / Philippines (Quezon City) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 10/13/2015 at 3:35am / United States (California) / Intimacy
by MeaganElizabethM / 10/11/2015 at 8:31am / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous
Today, while waiting in line to get my medication, a man who just got his prescription looked me up and down and said "Penis pills, right? Ya look like the type." Then he walked out as a couple of other guys in line started snickering. FML
by Anonymous / 10/11/2015 at 2:45am / Canada (Ontario) / Health
by Anonymous / 10/07/2015 at 9:45am / Belgium (Antwerpen) / Work
Today, my girlfriend dumped me after I told her I found out I have diabetes. She thought it was an STD and I had cheated on her. So I explained what it really was and she dumped me again because she didn't want her future children to inherit my fucked up DNA. FML
by Guy / 09/28/2015 at 2:49pm / Romania (Bucuresti) / Miscellaneous
Today, while on my first ever date, I ordered a really hot curry, hoping to impress my date. "Yeah," I said smoothly, "not everyone can handle spicy food." When I took a bite, my eyes watered, my mouth burned, and I had to plead for water in between moaning like a dying baboon. FML
by halfie / 09/26/2015 at 1:06am / United States (Tennessee) / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, someone stole my purse and phone while I was giving CPR to someone who had a heart attack on… 2Today, my boyfriend said I didn't give him enough attention because of my busy work life. So… he… 3Today, I was making the daily commute to work when suddenly my mother calls me, crying that there's…