Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?


Online | Search for a member



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 11 March 1985 (30 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 36122
  • Number of comments : 224
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 20 posted

About Xanster82 : Fatty.

Xanster82's page activity

Visits<b>xjames_c</b> - the 11/22/2015 at 8:39pm<b>max219</b> - the 11/16/2015 at 11:04pm<b>oceanic_bluee</b> - the 11/10/2015 at 2:38pm<b>ratman775</b> - the 11/09/2015 at 10:40am<b>gobiteme2</b> - the 11/08/2015 at 11:56pm<b>A07</b> - the 11/08/2015 at 11:13pm<b>Elban</b> - the 11/08/2015 at 10:54pm<b>elfcat</b> - the 11/04/2015 at 6:00pm<b>Sayeret_Matkal</b> - the 10/30/2015 at 12:30pm<b>NicoleP1993</b> - the 10/24/2015 at 8:05am<b>demix</b> - the 10/20/2015 at 5:44pm<b>Jkalia</b> - the 10/20/2015 at 2:05pm<b>rolso</b> - the 10/12/2015 at 10:26pm<b>tommyh92</b> - the 09/28/2015 at 4:49pm<b>Raleaf</b> - the 09/28/2015 at 2:00pm<b>Soviet_American</b> - the 09/26/2015 at 10:22am<b>brichwine</b> - the 09/25/2015 at 10:57am<b>coortaknee</b> - the 09/17/2015 at 12:50am

Fucked!<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/01/2015 at 11:08pm<b>c_wyld</b> - the 04/03/2015 at 6:36pm<b>casey_ct</b> - the 03/07/2015 at 7:03am

Xanster82's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!


You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

See all of Xanster82's badges

Xanster82's favorite FMLs

Today, my fiancé said "Rachel" instead of my name when asked to repeat, "I take thee, Emily, to be my lawfully wedded wife." I was shocked, so he explained while laughing that he doesn't even know a Rachel. He ruined our wedding for a Friends quote. FML

Today, while wandering around the big city I just relocated to, I asked a seemingly pleasant-looking lady where the nearest library was. She told me to get lost, and started laughing. Then said she was just joking and gave me directions. I'm now standing in front of a gay strip joint. FML


I agree, your life sucks (45743) - you deserved it (4938)

On 07/31/2014 at 7:38am - misc - by lostintdot (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I used the self-checkout for the first time. I didn't see a slot for bills, so I tried to put them in the coin slot for a solid three minutes. There was a huge line behind me, silently judging. FML


I agree, your life sucks (38022) - you deserved it (27207)

On 07/03/2014 at 8:29am - money - by notacashier - United States (New York)

Today, I overheard my mother talking to her friend, and using me as an example of how it's sometimes best to swallow. FML


I agree, your life sucks (52861) - you deserved it (5618)

On 07/02/2014 at 11:54am - intimacy - by unwanted daughter (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I went on a date with this girl. Turns out she's a software developer, too. Our date became a technical discussion. FML


I agree, your life sucks (42500) - you deserved it (11602)

On 07/01/2014 at 9:20pm - love - by devdevdev (man) - Brazil (Rio Grande do Sul)

Today, my boyfriend's grandma took me to his house to hang out. I then heard her in the kitchen telling his mom how hard she tried to leave me at the nearest gas station. FML

Today, it's five days until my wedding and I still can't tell my bride apart from her twin sister. They share clothes, have the same haircut, and they even take turns flirting with me to "catch me off guard" because they think it's hilarious to trick me. I'm scared I'll marry the wrong one. FML


I agree, your life sucks (68628) - you deserved it (8595)

On 05/08/2014 at 9:55am - love - by STOP (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, after beating myself up for being useless and not being able to do anything right, I managed to choke almost to the point of blacking out, on a piece of lettuce. FML


I agree, your life sucks (38518) - you deserved it (5883)

On 04/27/2014 at 3:16pm - misc - by failureatlife - United States (Louisiana)

Today, my dad and I got into an argument. When I was proven wrong, he said, "Good job, genius." I shot back the first thing that popped into my head, which was "I am not a genius!" He laughed and says that if I die before him, he's having that engraved on my tombstone. FML


I agree, your life sucks (34724) - you deserved it (13586)

On 04/25/2014 at 5:42pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I brought home my 3D glasses after a movie. I had a laugh about it until I realized that I put my $100 sunglasses in the recycle box outside of the theatre instead. FML


I agree, your life sucks (39638) - you deserved it (23095)

On 04/10/2014 at 4:52pm - money - by BobRyder (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I confessed my love for the girl I like, on the forum she moderates. She responded by banning me. FML


I agree, your life sucks (37764) - you deserved it (15569) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 02/28/2014 at 4:26pm - love - by Depirama (man) - France (Rhone-Alpes)

Today, I downloaded Grindr to my phone. It also downloaded to my mom's phone, my dad's phone, and my brother's phone. FML


I agree, your life sucks (41243) - you deserved it (21870)

On 01/16/2014 at 9:51pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my 7-year-old daughter made a new game: hitting me in the groin when I'm not expecting it. She hunts me in the house, hides around corners, and behind furniture to ambush me. She'll even do it if she catches me napping. I'm a grown man living in fear of a little girl. FML


I agree, your life sucks (55041) - you deserved it (12499)

On 01/16/2014 at 12:57pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I called my auto insurance company to try to get some discounts and lower my rate. I ended up adding $30 to my monthly payment. FML


I agree, your life sucks (39659) - you deserved it (13761)

On 01/08/2014 at 2:03pm - money - by Can2 (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, a man started a deep conversation with me at the bus stop about life, death, and the miracles of things we take for granted every day. I was really enjoying it until he looked at his watch and said, "Oh shit, mushrooms make me lose track of time!" and ran off into the night. FML


I agree, your life sucks (41899) - you deserved it (4680)

On 12/20/2013 at 3:45am - misc - by whatjusthappened (woman) - United States (Washington)

C comme Line's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • The Best of the Worst #20
  • Here we are in November! Winter is here, for most of us, it's dark, grey and depressing and if you're the kind of person who watches network news 24/7, you're probably going to need some cheering up.…

Monday 30 November 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: