About Xanster82 : Fatty.
Xanster82's FML badges
You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
What'cha looking at?
You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.
Xanster82's favorite FMLs
by Snowman / 01/24/2016 at 5:21pm / United States (Virginia) / Transportation
Today, I was walking home with my boyfriend and we passed the shop where my ex works at. My boyfriend slapped my ass right as my ex came out. It was so sudden that I started choking on a fry and dropped soda all over myself. My ex kept laughing all while my boyfriend kept apologizing. FML
by Gamergirl137 / 01/15/2016 at 9:28pm / United States (California) / Love
by lonely / 01/11/2016 at 4:04pm / United States (Idaho) / Love
Today, I played charades with my girlfriend and her family. When it was her turn to act out a phrase, she simply walked to the center of the room and pointed to herself and then at me. It took less than 5 seconds for someone to correctly guess "Beauty and the Beast". FML
by fuglymug / 01/08/2016 at 4:48pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Love
by i tried so hard / 01/08/2016 at 10:54am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, a customer gave me hell because a high-spec game he bought wouldn't run on his ancient Windows XP PC. I ended up having to profusely apologize and refund him. Whoever coined the phrase "the customer is always right" should probably be shot, run over by a bus, then shot a few more times. FML
by fucking fuck off / 01/01/2016 at 9:28am / United States / Work
Today, I showed my husband a recipe for the meal I wanted us to make tonight. He saw cumin was an ingredient and broke into hysterics. By the time he managed to stop laughing, he gasped that he couldn't eat something "with cumin it" and broke down laughing again. FML
Today, I thought it'd be funny to sneak up behind my dad and yell "BOO!" to scare him. He didn't even flinch. All he did was calmly look over his shoulder and sigh, "Oh for fuck's sake. And you wonder why I don't love you." FML
by Anonymous / 12/26/2015 at 3:29am / Australia (Western Australia) / Miscellaneous
Today, my family decided to break tradition and wake up at midnight to open presents. I didn't find out until I went downstairs to get a glass of water in the middle of the night, and found wrapping paper and empty boxes everywhere. FML
by imahater07 / 12/25/2015 at 1:28am / Miscellaneous
Today, I made a typo in a line of code, bringing the company website down. Our admin was already pissed about having to work over Christmas, and he started yelling at me and ended up punching my supervisor when he got between us. Pretty sure my screw up indirectly got the poor guy fired. FML
Today, I was bitched out by my shrew of a mother for getting engaged, to a man. She's not homophobic, but rather pissed off because gay marriage is "trendy" and she wants me to be "above that nonsense". Hurray for love. FML
by Anonymous / 12/23/2015 at 4:06am / United States (California) / Love
Today, I spent the only money I had left for lunch only to take two bites before a seagull snatched my burger from my hands. I had to shamefully start walking back to work with a pair of girls laughing at me and an empty stomach. FML
by shibs / 12/19/2015 at 9:30am / Australia (New South Wales) / Animals
by Moth_Balled / 12/14/2015 at 11:50pm / Australia / Intimacy
by strictly cum prancing / 12/11/2015 at 2:48pm / United States / Love
- 1Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 2Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say… 3Today, I was eating my lunch. When I opened my mouth to eat a spoonful of rice, a bee flew right…