Xanster82

Search for a member

Offline (5 hours ago)

Xanster82

7Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 11 March 1987 (29 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 45806
  • Number of comments : 235
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 21 posted

About Xanster82 : Fatty.

Xanster82's page activity

Visits<b>Justkidding100</b> - the 11/30/2016 at 6:37am<b>swimthenread27</b> - the 11/23/2016 at 4:32pm<b>Devin143</b> - the 08/22/2016 at 10:45pm<b>142asdfqq</b> - the 08/15/2016 at 11:44am<b>xxfacetimexx</b> - the 07/18/2016 at 1:13am<b>danimal_crackerz</b> - the 07/06/2016 at 10:39pm<b>im_a_squid</b> - the 06/05/2016 at 4:50am<b>cabb30</b> - the 05/27/2016 at 1:04am<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 05/18/2016 at 10:51pm<b>Candygrl987</b> - the 05/14/2016 at 3:20am<b>swash984</b> - the 05/13/2016 at 12:39pm<b>special_Kaye</b> - the 05/13/2016 at 12:37am<b>kokopuffs3</b> - the 05/13/2016 at 12:21am<b>DylanConnell</b> - the 05/09/2016 at 5:47pm<b>sayhisoph</b> - the 05/08/2016 at 5:19pm<b>demix</b> - the 05/07/2016 at 6:53pm<b>paigexox0</b> - the 05/05/2016 at 7:11am<b>HarleyBlues</b> - the 05/01/2016 at 12:07am

Fucked!<b>Devin143</b> - the 08/23/2016 at 4:45am<b>delfino1604</b> - the 02/22/2016 at 4:37pm<b>Sayeret_Matkal</b> - the 02/08/2016 at 6:27pm<b>SlowDownImaNoob</b> - the 12/26/2015 at 6:39am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/01/2015 at 11:08pm<b>c_wyld</b> - the 04/03/2015 at 6:36pm<b>casey_ct</b> - the 03/07/2015 at 7:03am

Xanster82's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

See all of Xanster82's badges

Xanster82's favorite FMLs

Today, I decided I would eat healthy in order to lose weight. Feeling powerful, I threw away all of the icecream in my freezer. An hour later, I picked the icecream carton out of the garbage and ate the entire half-melted carton. FML

by Anonymous / 05/09/2009 at 10:48am / United States (Illinois) / Health

Today, I almost drowned in the ocean after being sucked into a rip current. When I finally managed to make it back to shore breathless from all the energy it took to get back, I looked down and my swimming trunks were gone. I was crawling on the ground naked in front of a hundred people. FML

by matt5th35hit / 05/09/2009 at 4:16am / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I had surgery on my foot. The doctor told me I'd be on crutches for 6 months. I texted my boyfriend the news, promising lots of intimate favors if he'd watch movies with me while on bed rest for the next week. He texted back, "No way. I don't date cripples." Dumped for a broken foot. FML

by gimp. / 05/08/2009 at 4:28am / United States (California) / Health

Today, I was at a family get together with distant relatives. My grandma made a point to say how all of the grandkids brought their boyfriends or girlfriends. She looks at me, then turns to everyone and says "But not our Becky! She is more interested in her cats right now than finding a man." FML

by Anonymous / 05/07/2009 at 11:38pm / Canada (Ontario) / Animals

Today, I was shopping in the mall. A cute store worker kept checking me out, so after I picked a few things I went up to her and started flirting. After a few seconds, she cut me off and said, "Actually I was watching you because you look like someone who would shoplift." FML

by Bucks9 / 05/07/2009 at 7:43pm / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was talking to my boyfriend on the phone. After a short pause I hear him say "I love you." Smiling I say, "I love you too." Then he says, "I was talking to my dog." FML

by TrulyYours / 05/07/2009 at 8:39am / United States (Maine) / Love

Today, while masturbating at the computer, I was interrupted by a flash of light out of the corner of my eye. As I turned to face it, I realized I forgot to close the blinds. Standing at the window in the appartment across the street were two girls, one had a camera and was snapping a second shot. FML

by JoeyDizz / 05/05/2009 at 11:41pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, I pissed my younger brother off. Seemingly unrelated to this was the fact that I left my laptop on in my room along with MSN signed into my email adress. Now, all my contacts know that I apparently "just love the warm feeling of semen sliding down my throat". FML

by Anonymous / 05/05/2009 at 5:42pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I walked outside to get the newspaper and slipped on the icy driveway. Because I was wearing boxers and a robe, my legs got all scraped up. After much cursing, I got the paper and went inside. The headline read "Caution: Icy Conditions". FML

by qwerty / 05/05/2009 at 4:39pm / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous

Today, a hot girl got into the elevator just as I took a bite out of my Three Musketeers bar. I instinctively smiled at her and chocolate drool poured out of my mouth. FML

by anonymous / 05/05/2009 at 10:17am / United States (New York) / Love

Today, I was sitting in a theater waiting for the movie to start when a hot guy sat next to me. Trying to impress him, I made seemingly witty comments to my friend throughout the movie. When it ended he loudly complained to his friends about the annoying girl sitting next to him. FML

by anon / 05/04/2009 at 5:56pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, I found a box of birthday candles sitting on the coffee table. Bored, I lit one, and after a minute I threw it away and sat back down on the couch. I started looking at the box and noticed that it said "Magic Re-Lighting Candles" at the exact moment that my trash can burst into flames. FML

by Anonymous / 05/04/2009 at 4:28pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I asked my mom if she thought I was straight. She looked at me and said "Well, that's really up to you honey. But your father and I would still love you." I was asking if she thought I had parked straight. FML

by Anonymous / 05/04/2009 at 12:51pm / United States (California) / Transportation

Today, I was on Facebook looking at pictures of my boyfriend, who was in his friend's wedding this past weekend. He said that none of the girlfriends could come because it would cost too much for the couple. I spent the weekend alone, and all his friend's girlfriends are in the pictures. FML

by pissed / 05/04/2009 at 12:25am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love

Today, I was driving down the road at about 10pm, when the passenger in the car in front of me threw something out the window. The object flew towards and landed directly on my windshield. It was a condom. A used condom. It wasn't tied. Semen spreads out quite a bit when you're driving fast. FML

by Aether / 05/03/2009 at 5:17pm / United States (Michigan) / Transportation