Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Xanster82

Offline (8 hours ago) | Search for a member

Xanster82

3Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 11 March 1985 (30 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 34220
  • Number of comments : 222
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 20 posted

About Xanster82 : Fatty.

Xanster82's page activity

Visits<b>savagetitan</b> - the 07/19/2015 at 11:24am<b>duduv2</b> - the 07/10/2015 at 4:00am<b>Jayroc</b> - the 07/06/2015 at 12:07pm<b>jacob_coryell98</b> - the 06/24/2015 at 5:11am<b>Monday_funday</b> - the 06/21/2015 at 5:00pm<b>ImZacko</b> - the 06/18/2015 at 9:08am<b>Rented_eyebrows</b> - the 06/15/2015 at 11:49pm<b>carlfirebolt</b> - the 06/13/2015 at 11:34pm<b>redlight98</b> - the 06/13/2015 at 6:17pm<b>missmorggan</b> - the 06/10/2015 at 2:56pm<b>kyranstar</b> - the 06/07/2015 at 3:11am<b>Mario_mane</b> - the 06/06/2015 at 8:29am<b>Jax_Ashnarr</b> - the 06/02/2015 at 8:10am<b>mergeterge</b> - the 05/23/2015 at 11:42am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/01/2015 at 5:08pm<b>HarryHirsch</b> - the 04/29/2015 at 5:03am<b>Jae_Hellyun</b> - the 04/28/2015 at 3:26am<b>bassfisher100</b> - the 04/26/2015 at 9:18am

Fucked!<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/01/2015 at 11:08pm<b>c_wyld</b> - the 04/03/2015 at 6:36pm<b>casey_ct</b> - the 03/07/2015 at 7:03am

Xanster82's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

See all of Xanster82's badges

Xanster82's favorite FMLs

Today, I was giving my boyfriend a blowjob, which I don't normally do because I have a fear of getting hit in the eye. Afterwards, I went to suck a lemon to get the taste out of my mouth. Sure enough, I bit the wrong spot and had lemon juice shoot right into my eye. FML

#99356
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28451) - you deserved it (78386)

On 02/21/2009 at 9:07pm - intimacy - by svet (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, while on a blind date at Hooters, I ordered my food and the waitress asked me if I was stoned, because she couldn't understand me. I have a speech impediment. FML

#98933
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57121) - you deserved it (4031)

On 02/21/2009 at 8:15pm - health - by Vince (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I went for a run and took my shirt off part way through. The next person I saw was a nine year old girl playing outside her house. She looked at me and said, "Ewwwwww! Gross!" FML

#91993
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18486) - you deserved it (25694)

On 02/20/2009 at 9:37pm - misc - by Jim Smith (man) - United States (California)

Today, in class my friend played a joke on me by pulling my seat from under me while i was about to sit. I fell and everybody laughed at me. During the next class, I did the same thing to him. He broke his arm. He was the star of the basketball team. Nobody laughed. FML

#81236
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44530) - you deserved it (22765)

On 02/19/2009 at 7:17pm - health - by Noname (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was at the library studying. There was a really cute guy across the room. I decided to play it cool and walk his way and grab some water. Right as I walked by, my body decided to let out the loudest fart. He laughed. I kept walking and asked my friend to grab my books. FML

#80589
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30931) - you deserved it (13278)

On 02/19/2009 at 6:17pm - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I took a massive dump at work and clogged the industrial toilet. Since I used the unisex one at the end of the hall, I watched my super hot coworker walk in after me. And then she ran out immediately. Everyone had seen me walk out before her. FML

#79663
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16181) - you deserved it (32013)

On 02/19/2009 at 4:44pm - work - by wow (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was sleeping when my roommate walked in and asked me: "So...when are you leaving?" She had decided to throw a party in our apartment. I wasn't invited. FML

#79632
23 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40582) - you deserved it (2353)

On 02/19/2009 at 4:41pm - misc - by sen (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I told a girl I liked her. She replied, "Don't". FML

#75697
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55901) - you deserved it (5237)

On 02/19/2009 at 2:08am - love - by grlks (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I told my long-distance girlfriend that I just could not handle the distance and we should just be friends. To which she responded, "What? You thought we were going out? Lol". FML

#71381
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41776) - you deserved it (7725)

On 02/18/2009 at 7:43pm - misc - by Fack. (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I went to McDonald's for lunch and ordered a salad. The man behind the counter looked at me and said "Well, at least you're trying." FML

#70885
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55341) - you deserved it (8736)

On 02/18/2009 at 6:52pm - health - by blawbo (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my four-year-old cousin gave me a hug, basically stuffing his face into my crotch. Then he pulled it out and said "Ew, that's stinky" in front of my entire class. FML

#70656
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47183) - you deserved it (11941)

On 02/18/2009 at 6:27pm - kids - by girlmeetsworld - United States (New York)

Today, I was home alone tanning in my backyard which is fairly secluded. I took my top off and laid there for awhile before I looked over and saw the UPS guy standing at my gate with a package because nobody answered the door. I looked horrified and he said not to worry, he'd seen better. FML

#70171
32 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44054) - you deserved it (8228)

On 02/18/2009 at 5:31pm - misc - by mediocreboobs (woman) - United States (California)

Today, was the first time I had sex with a guy I really like. I took off my shirt and my bra and he said "wow, that's disappointing." FML

#69472
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (110684) - you deserved it (10156)

On 02/18/2009 at 4:14pm - intimacy - by notsohappy (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, My boyfriend gave me a gift card for $32 to a local salon. I thought the amount was kind of random, but when I went in I saw that the bikini wax was $32. FML

#66686
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42297) - you deserved it (13280)

On 02/18/2009 at 3:06am - misc - by nadalada (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my brother joked that our dog was more attractive than I was. I looked to my mom for support, and she said "Well, she is pure bred." FML

#63875
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36494) - you deserved it (3170)

On 02/17/2009 at 9:52pm - animals - by Noname (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)



FML's blog

  • Feeling shitty? Write to Auntie Bernie!
  • It's a new summer, so here's a new feature. OK, that doesn't mean much, but you've got to start somewhere. The idea came from the fact that we get sent a lot of FMLs that touch us, in our heart of…

Friday 24 July 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: