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XanderJayNix

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XanderJayNix
  • Town/Country : San Diego, CA, United States of America
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1883
  • Number of comments : 111
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 11 posted

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XanderJayNix's favorite FMLs

Today, trying to be a responsible parent, I bought my daughter a pack of condoms in case she ever decided to have sex. She turned them into balloon animals and went back to playing video games. FML

#21059009
284 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29677) - you deserved it (45261)

On 02/13/2014 at 10:47am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Missouri)

Today, after hours of organizing and spending around $300 for my three-year-old's birthday party, I realized I forgot to send out the invitations. FML

#20951338
158 comments

Today, my boyfriend got angry because I laughed when he asked me if he should retire from being a Pokemon Trainer. He was serious. He's also 21. FML

#20798065
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34274) - you deserved it (9089)

On 07/22/2013 at 6:14pm - love - by ihatepokemon (woman) - United States

Today, I was out with my grandma when a pair of very shady guys approached us in the street, hands in their pockets. Without breaking stride, she pulled a knife out of her handbag and told them they'd better keep walking. They did. What the fuck, gran? FML

#20640901
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48038) - you deserved it (6804)

On 05/04/2013 at 1:05pm - misc - by emasculated 10000% (man) - Sweden (Kronobergs Lan)

Today, I walked into the living room to find my 11-year-old daughter about to kiss her "not my boyfriend" on the lips. When I asked what she thought she was doing, she peeled a piece of scotch tape off her lips and said, "It's okay! We're using protection." FML

#20640565
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61832) - you deserved it (9124)

On 05/04/2013 at 8:51am - kids - by wtfmama (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I was driving and a cute guy was staring at me. Flattered, I smiled at him, but he didn't even react. I realized he wasn't admiring me he was admiring my truck. This is the 5th time this week. My truck gets more game than I do. FML

#20622946
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44111) - you deserved it (6947)

On 04/26/2013 at 10:50am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, a technician from my ISP came to my house to replace my router. He asked for a glass of water, one thing led to another, and for some reason I'll never fully understand, we ended up having sex. Looks like porn logic is not so far off the mark after all. FML

#20537010
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16532) - you deserved it (53576)

On 03/09/2013 at 1:50pm - intimacy - by je_regrette_tout (woman) - Sent from mobile version

Today, I went to my daughter's room with clean laundry. I found her lying on her bed with a hand down her pants, totally zoned out and staring blankly at the Justin Bieber poster on her wall. FML

#20529387
209 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41597) - you deserved it (6436)

On 03/03/2013 at 12:03pm - misc - by parental failure (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I went out to meet a wonderful woman I'd chatted with online. I did have a few fears about if she was really just some guy trying to make a fool out of me. When I met her, she really was a girl, and was happy to see me. Problem: she was actually 13. I'm 34. FML

#20444863
228 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21512) - you deserved it (7168)

On 01/06/2013 at 12:24pm - love - by lifsabtch (man) -

Today, a lady on the bus came up to me and asked if she could sit down. Thinking she meant the seat next to me, I said sure. She meant my lap. FML

#20198778
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18863) - you deserved it (1603)

On 12/10/2012 at 5:13am - misc - by LLCK - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I was fired for actively seeking employment with another company. Because of having just been fired, the other company will no longer give me the time of day. FML

#20132895
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16949) - you deserved it (3671)

On 10/25/2012 at 4:13pm - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my dog, who has been specially trained to go for help when I'm having a seizure, went to alert my parents downstairs that I was having an emergency. The "emergency" was me masturbating. FML

#20052579
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25628) - you deserved it (7439)

On 09/01/2012 at 1:56pm - intimacy - by thewhompingwillow (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, yet again, I was getting intimate with my shower head. Some complete genius decided to flush the toilet downstairs halfway through, which sent scalding-hot water all up in my privates. I've yet to find a comfortable sitting position. FML

#20046536
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14233) - you deserved it (34930)

On 08/28/2012 at 5:22pm - intimacy - by Bethany (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my boyfriend and I reached that point in our relationship where just a simple phone conversation was too boring. His idea to spice things up? Playing Minecraft together. FML

#20035502
223 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16101) - you deserved it (5542)

On 08/22/2012 at 11:13am - love - by Minecraftwhyyy (woman) - United States

Today, my mom called me screaming and cussing because she found pot in my room. I come home and my dad says, "I hid some pot in your room and I'm not letting you go to that concert if you rat me out." My dad is apparently a blackmailing 52-year-old stoner. FML

#20006521
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24063) - you deserved it (1456)

On 08/06/2012 at 9:40pm - misc - by Joe Lizen - United States (Illinois)



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