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You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
XanderJayNix's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 05/26/2014 at 11:53am / United States (California) / Love
by Anonymous / 02/13/2014 at 10:47am / United States (Missouri) / Kids
by NiteShayd / 11/09/2013 at 11:40am / Canada / Kids
by ihatepokemon / 07/22/2013 at 6:14pm / United States / Love
Today, I was out with my grandma when a pair of very shady guys approached us in the street, hands in their pockets. Without breaking stride, she pulled a knife out of her handbag and told them they'd better keep walking. They did. What the fuck, gran? FML
by emasculated 10000% / 05/04/2013 at 1:05pm / Sweden (Kronobergs Lan) / Miscellaneous
Today, I walked into the living room to find my 11-year-old daughter about to kiss her "not my boyfriend" on the lips. When I asked what she thought she was doing, she peeled a piece of scotch tape off her lips and said, "It's okay! We're using protection." FML
by wtfmama / 05/04/2013 at 8:51am / United States (Wisconsin) / Kids
Today, I was driving and a cute guy was staring at me. Flattered, I smiled at him, but he didn't even react. I realized he wasn't admiring me he was admiring my truck. This is the 5th time this week. My truck gets more game than I do. FML
by Anonymous / 04/26/2013 at 10:50am / United States / Transportation
Today, a technician from my ISP came to my house to replace my router. He asked for a glass of water, one thing led to another, and for some reason I'll never fully understand, we ended up having sex. Looks like porn logic is not so far off the mark after all. FML
by je_regrette_tout / 03/09/2013 at 1:50pm / Intimacy
by parental failure / 03/03/2013 at 12:03pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous
Today, I went out to meet a wonderful woman I'd chatted with online. I did have a few fears about if she was really just some guy trying to make a fool out of me. When I met her, she really was a girl, and was happy to see me. Problem: she was actually 13. I'm 34. FML
by LLCK / 12/10/2012 at 5:13am / United States (Minnesota) / Transportation
by Anonymous / 10/25/2012 at 4:13pm / United States / Work
by thewhompingwillow / 09/01/2012 at 1:56pm / United States (Virginia) / Intimacy
Today, yet again, I was getting intimate with my shower head. Some complete genius decided to flush the toilet downstairs halfway through, which sent scalding-hot water all up in my privates. I've yet to find a comfortable sitting position. FML
by Bethany / 08/28/2012 at 5:22pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Intimacy
by Minecraftwhyyy / 08/22/2012 at 11:13am / United States / Love
- Today, I’m on a mission in Africa. My company driver is so old, deaf and half blind that I have to… Today, I’m in Thailand and I met a monk. The conversation was so deep and interesting that, without… Today, after shaking my boss's hand, I noticed that he had a piece of toilet paper stuck to one of…