Xaelo

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Offline (the 04/27/2016 at 10:01pm)

Xaelo

0Fucked!

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  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1469
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Xaelo's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

See all of Xaelo's badges

Xaelo's favorite FMLs

Today, traffic was so bad that I was able to connect to the WiFi of a nearby McDonald's and successfully listen to a 30-minute podcast. FML

by Mcwifi / 04/21/2016 at 1:58pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, my 3 year-old woke up with diarrhea. The stench caused him to throw up. My husband started sympathy puking all over the floor. I'm so exhausted already that I'm considering just burning the damn house down to avoid cleaning it all up. FML

by Anonymous / 04/16/2016 at 3:16am / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, I introduced my long-distance boyfriend of 2 years to my friends. I told him how my friends jokingly call him my imaginary Internet boyfriend. He thought it was so funny that when they met, he claimed to be my cousin, saying that I paid him to pretend to be my boyfriend. They believed him. FML

by Anonymous / 03/30/2016 at 2:53am / United States (Maryland) / Love

Today, for what has seemed to be the hundredth time, my labeled bagged lunch was stolen from the fridge at my workplace. I stormed into my boss's office ready to complain, only to find him eating it. FML

by Jake Leiter / 03/20/2016 at 2:12pm / United States (New Hampshire) / Work

Today, as I walked around town I noticed some guys and even a couple of girls checked me out. When I got home later I realized they probably weren't checking me out, so much as wondering why the hell I had thick black eyeliner on only one eye. Oops. FML

by Anonymous / 02/05/2016 at 2:15pm / United States (South Carolina) / Miscellaneous

Today, my 4 year old's heavily pregnant teacher pulled me aside and asked me to talk to my son about "boundaries". Apparently, he asked her if she was going to "boobie feed" him and listed a few reasons why she should and why formula is bad, in front of the entire class. FML

by sammylynnp / 01/07/2016 at 12:39am / United States (Wisconsin) / Kids

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I had a job interview where I was asked, "Who is your best friend?" I replied truthfully, "My cat", only to then be asked what my cat would describe as my best qualities, which didn't go far beyond, "Remembering to feed him". They weren't impressed. FML

by Emma / 01/04/2016 at 10:08pm / United Kingdom (Lancashire) / Work

Today, my boyfriend's dad came onto me. I was shocked and awkwardly tried to exit the situation. My boyfriend then sprang out and started shouting at me. Apparently, it was a "test" to see if I would still be attracted to him in 30 years. I failed. What. The. Fuck. FML

by _schaden_freude / 12/27/2015 at 12:31pm / United Kingdom (Kent) / Love

Today, I went on my first date in six years. The guy was unbelievably creepy, and I couldn't wait for it to be over. Right after we finished eating, he told me he loved me, then tried to lean in for a kiss. He looked like he was going to cry when I turned him down. FML

by Anonymous / 11/28/2015 at 12:25am / United States (Texas) / Love

Today, at work, the janitor would not stop telling me how good I looked. This was after he told me he was fired for sexual harassment at his last job. He clearly learned that lesson. FML

by 123literateABC / 11/03/2015 at 10:10pm / United States (Michigan) / Work

Today, at our wedding, instead of saying "I do", my fiancé paused before saying, "I can't do this", stepped down from the altar and proposed to my maid of honor. When she obviously refused, he ran from the venue bawling. He's not returning my calls. FML

by Anonymous / 10/21/2015 at 12:46am / United States (Massachusetts) / Love

Today, the guy I've been seeing for a little over a week proposed to me. FML

by Anonymous / 10/11/2015 at 9:25am / United States (Indiana) / Love

Today, I found out my son told his teachers that I make his brother Tom sleep on the floor, make him stay out of the house for long periods of time, and don't let him use the toilet. Tom is actually our cat. FML

by Bad Mother / 10/08/2015 at 7:53am / United Arab Emirates (Dubai) / Animals

Today, I showed up for my first shift in my new night job; I now work at an apartment complex in the day and a gas station at night. It turns out that our biggest problem tenant in the former happens to be my boss in the latter. FML

by Doublescrewed / 10/05/2015 at 8:23pm / Work

Today, a 60 year old veteran hit on me by pointing to his white hair and saying: "Just because there's snow on the roof doesn't mean there isn't a fire down below." Then he told me vets eat free at Cracker Barrel. FML