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XPhoenixFire

Offline (13 hours ago) | Search for a member

XPhoenixFire

2Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 3177
  • Number of comments : 37
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About XPhoenixFire : Sarcasm is key.

XPhoenixFire's page activity

Visits<b>limitedition</b> - yesterday at 11:27pm<b>MetalxSoldier</b> - yesterday at 3:15pm<b>Ghilliebro</b> - the 03/22/2015 at 6:00am<b>oldmanringo</b> - the 03/22/2015 at 1:30am<b>Jake42100</b> - the 03/21/2015 at 11:52am<b>saifnaqvi11</b> - the 03/21/2015 at 9:32am<b>I_see_your_anger</b> - the 03/18/2015 at 9:20pm<b>psshhh</b> - the 03/18/2015 at 5:07pm<b>Jay0501</b> - the 03/14/2015 at 2:03pm<b>ilovesarcasm</b> - the 03/01/2015 at 7:59am<b>Monday_funday</b> - the 02/11/2015 at 2:52pm<b>pureportedpear</b> - the 02/11/2015 at 11:17am<b>hazukilockheart</b> - the 02/01/2015 at 8:52am<b>jkp1291</b> - the 01/26/2015 at 12:29am<b>JackDupp</b> - the 01/14/2015 at 1:49pm<b>Posthuman</b> - the 01/12/2015 at 10:19pm<b>Toutejulie</b> - the 12/23/2014 at 7:02am<b>splash69</b> - the 11/29/2014 at 3:46pm

Liked!<b>devildog562</b> - the 10/31/2014 at 8:15pm<b>thebigtwinkie</b> - the 09/12/2014 at 5:42pm

XPhoenixFire's FML badges

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

See all of XPhoenixFire's badges

XPhoenixFire's favorite FMLs

Today, my school had to make an official announcement that students were not permitted to go home due to Zayn Malik leaving One Direction because so many girls were claiming they couldn't focus on school with such a dramatic event occurring. FML

#21381783
250 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34489) - you deserved it (2918)

On 03/26/2015 at 9:20am - work - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I was asked when my baby is due. My baby was due 6 months ago. FML

#21381725
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26337) - you deserved it (3660)

On 03/26/2015 at 4:35am - kids - by sexybelly - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my maths class and I had to sit through a slideshow of photos of our teacher's cat. The cat's name is Mr Cat. FML

#21376941
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27423) - you deserved it (3470)

On 03/18/2015 at 5:44am - misc - by Anonymous - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, after 4 years of nicely asking, I wrote an official memo to our logistics department, asking for new chairs for my subordinates. The logistics people came and concluded that there are more broken chairs than good ones, but suggested that perhaps we should all go on a diet. FML

#21372747
32 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25564) - you deserved it (2540)

On 03/11/2015 at 8:36pm - work - by Matei - Romania (Bucuresti)

Today, my sister and I went to visit my grandma. She looked at my sister and said, "You are just so skinny! You need to eat more cookies!" She then turned to me and said, "You should lay off the cookies!" FML

Today, I went to the doctor, because I've been having stomach pains and nausea for weeks. He ended up gravely telling me I'm pregnant. I freaked out and panicked about what my parents would say. Then his laughter reminded me that I'm a guy. A really stupid one. FML

#21367918
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23385) - you deserved it (33036)

On 03/04/2015 at 10:03am - health - by actually just constipated.. and stupid - Tunisia

Today, my boyfriend was pleasuring me with his hands. After two years of being together, he was finally about to make me orgasm for the first time by himself. Just as I was reaching my peak, he orgasmed at the thought of finishing me off and stopped. FML

#21367801
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40670) - you deserved it (3435)

On 03/04/2015 at 2:55am - intimacy - by Highnapple - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was checking the family's computer history, and found that "Shrek Porn" had been searched multiple times. FML

#21365639
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29522) - you deserved it (3073)

On 03/01/2015 at 1:05am - misc - by mszoe - United States (California)

Today, I sharted during my wedding vows. FML

#21365151
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37729) - you deserved it (4505)

On 02/28/2015 at 9:16am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Denmark (Nordjylland)

Today, my girlfriend said she was going to start appreciating the little things in life. She's starting with my penis. FML

#21364983
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33734) - you deserved it (4926)

On 02/28/2015 at 12:03am - intimacy - by FreshDonuts (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, while trying to sleep, I heard what sounded like someone breaking into my house. I ran downstairs, only to find my cat had ripped down my blinds and was tangled up in them, thrashing around the floor like a fish. FML

#21363021
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27506) - you deserved it (2834)

On 02/24/2015 at 11:33pm - animals - by Sarah1330 (woman) - United States

Today, I worked my boyfriend's shift so he could stay home. I even brought him the free meal I got for helping out. Turns out he wanted to stay home so badly to cheat on me. FML

#21362681
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36851) - you deserved it (2563)

On 02/24/2015 at 4:07pm - intimacy - by xxruby - United States (Texas)

Today, I hit my head on the steering wheel when I sneezed. I managed to honk the horn and the guy next to me couldn't stop laughing. FML

#21361311
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31787) - you deserved it (4520)

On 02/22/2015 at 8:41pm - misc - by headache - United States

Today, I came home from work to find that my girlfriend had sold all of my N64 and Atari games and both the consoles and bought me a PS4 with the money. While I was standing there in shock, she kissed me on the cheek and said, "I know, I'm the greatest." FML

#21361122
460 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44322) - you deserved it (4015)

On 02/22/2015 at 3:41pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I told my cousin that I would gladly help him through the loss of my aunt. That is until he started flirting with me. FML

#21358332
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29330) - you deserved it (2271)

On 02/17/2015 at 11:02pm - misc - by whateven333 (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)



Sophie Marie's illustrated FML

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  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

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