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XPhoenixFire

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XPhoenixFire
  • Town/Country : igloo #345, Antartica
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 377
  • Number of comments : 7
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About XPhoenixFire : Im just a sarcastic bird

XPhoenixFire's last visitors

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XPhoenixFire's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

It’s in the can

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

See all of XPhoenixFire's badges

XPhoenixFire's favorite FMLs

Today, my psycho ex boyfriend, who I broke up with over a month ago showed up at my work yelling and crying because I didn't get him anything for his birthday. My boss now thinks I'm an asshole. FML

#21109350
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37427) - you deserved it (3727)

On 04/10/2014 at 11:50am - misc - by crazytown (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my mother decided to tell me about how my twin brother almost killed me in the womb when his cord wrapped around my neck. When she left the room, he said, "You won't be so lucky next time." FML

#21081555
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40962) - you deserved it (3836)

On 03/08/2014 at 6:13pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I got my first massage. At the end, the masseuse made a gesture indicating which way the exit was. After having had her hands all over my body for the past hour, I thought the gesture was indicative of a goodbye hug. Things got awkward really fast. FML

#21076286
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33415) - you deserved it (7440)

On 03/02/2014 at 9:30pm - misc - by AlwaysAwkward - United States (Ohio)

Today, and for the past 38 weeks of my pregnancy, my husband decided to amuse himself by following me around, making whale noises. FML

#21074731
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46259) - you deserved it (4821)

On 03/01/2014 at 5:42am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, I told my husband to give our dog a bath while I was at work. When I returned home, I found my dog, along with my husband, in the bath together. FML

#21074688
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38301) - you deserved it (8501)

On 03/01/2014 at 3:23am - animals - by lacy - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I was playing an intense game of Flappy Bird. I was so excited at being about to beat my high score that I got a hard-on. FML

#21074219
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36922) - you deserved it (16367)

On 02/28/2014 at 5:26pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Russian Federation (Moskva)

Today, my boyfriend thought it'd be cute to put his penis through a doughnut and try to make me eat it off. FML

#21072191
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40866) - you deserved it (7468)

On 02/26/2014 at 1:53pm - intimacy - by lovely (woman) - United States (California)

Today, during class our teacher asked us, "Who is Uncle Sam?" A girl answered, "He's the guy who founded KFC, right?" I'm in an AP class and have to put up with these morons constantly. FML

#21071374
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39806) - you deserved it (3686)

On 02/25/2014 at 4:17pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I was out with my girlfriend at a club. As a slow dance began, a guy approached and asked, "May I cut in?" My girlfriend surprised me by saying, "Sure!" As I was about to protest, the guy cut me off and said, "Sorry miss, I was asking him." FML

#21059471
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44165) - you deserved it (5976)

On 02/13/2014 at 8:31pm - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was Skyping with a guy I'm really into. I'm not supposed to Skype at night, so when I heard my mum coming, I minimized the window. She walked in before I could mute my mic and started bitching me out for flushing my tampons down the toilet. FML

#21057252
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37492) - you deserved it (21555)

On 02/11/2014 at 3:00pm - misc - by FUUUUCK (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, after years of counseling and therapy for my anger issues, I snapped. Two words: Flappy Bird. FML

#21051812
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42659) - you deserved it (12100)

On 02/05/2014 at 10:39pm - misc - by tigerisabelle (woman) -

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my brother asked me how to block someone on Facebook. Seeing as how my brother never asks me for anything, I took this opportunity to help him. He then blocked me. FML

#21034070
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41573) - you deserved it (6933)

On 01/20/2014 at 4:16pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, my younger brother asked if he could watch me put a tampon in. He's 17. FML

#21029617
220 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57283) - you deserved it (4738)

On 01/16/2014 at 8:37am - intimacy - by ugh (woman) - Vietnam (Ha Noi)

Today, I hacked into my best friend's Facebook account to message my mother about organizing a surprise party for myself for my 21st. She ignored the message for two days before replying, "I don't think so. No one would really show up and I think that would hurt her feelings." FML

#21029577
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42202) - you deserved it (17679)

On 01/16/2014 at 6:45am - misc - by nolovefor21 (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I found out that I'm pregnant. My boyfriend thinks I'm faking the whole thing in revenge for the fight we had yesterday. FML



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