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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 6148
  • Number of comments : 49
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

About XPhoenixFire : Sarcasm is key.

XPhoenixFire's page activity

Visits<b>andrmac</b> - the 08/17/2016 at 10:15pm<b>donaldthegrump</b> - the 08/11/2016 at 11:16pm<b>trucker2</b> - the 08/11/2016 at 5:32pm<b>robsmit98</b> - the 07/31/2016 at 12:54pm<b>Tripartita</b> - the 07/16/2016 at 5:13pm<b>missmorggan</b> - the 06/08/2016 at 12:02pm<b>LuxEtTenebris</b> - the 05/07/2016 at 2:00am<b>Dusty_Cups</b> - the 04/28/2016 at 10:18pm<b>iliveformystery</b> - the 04/26/2016 at 10:20pm<b>Cyntha</b> - the 03/14/2016 at 9:58am<b>Karau</b> - the 02/26/2016 at 9:06pm<b>Sayeret_Matkal</b> - the 02/04/2016 at 7:07pm<b>Dr_Awesome654</b> - the 01/28/2016 at 10:29pm<b>Seabass_Chan</b> - the 01/22/2016 at 6:12pm<b>mf727hihi</b> - the 01/08/2016 at 3:43pm<b>karacakal2</b> - the 01/01/2016 at 9:25pm<b>angelicayoknow</b> - the 12/17/2015 at 3:08am<b>kyuuubbbiii</b> - the 12/14/2015 at 8:49am

Fucked!<b>andrmac</b> - the 08/18/2016 at 4:15am<b>trucker2</b> - the 08/11/2016 at 11:32pm<b>Cyntha</b> - the 03/14/2016 at 2:58pm<b>Seabass_Chan</b> - the 01/22/2016 at 4:40pm<b>Radgears47</b> - the 08/19/2015 at 7:11pm<b>devildog562</b> - the 10/31/2014 at 8:15pm<b>thebigtwinkie</b> - the 09/12/2014 at 5:42pm

XPhoenixFire's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.


You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

See all of XPhoenixFire's badges

XPhoenixFire's favorite FMLs

Today, while playing hockey, one of my teammates decided to swing her hockey stick like a golf club. She missed the ball, but managed to hit me right in the vagina. FML

by bruised / 05/19/2016 at 4:54pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Health

Today, after many days of messing around with wording and pictures, a huge and expensive printed card order came in to the office. I spelt the first word wrong. I can't get a refund. FML

by smidgit / 05/19/2016 at 1:32pm / Work

Today, I happily announced to my parents that I'm pregnant. My dad later handed me a printout containing a list of nearby abortion clinics. FML

by Anonymous / 08/28/2015 at 1:06am / United States (California) / Kids

Today, my niece started crying because she thought that someday she'll look like me. FML

by ambiiii / 08/19/2015 at 11:25pm / United States (Texas) / Kids

Today, my drill sergeant was yelling at me and asking me questions. I got a question wrong, and he asked me if I am a "Shit Sandwich". I replied "Yes sir, with extra cheese." I'm running miles till the day I die. FML

by BarhydtBran / 08/17/2015 at 9:55pm / United States (California) / Work

Today, my girlfriend dyed her hair from blonde to brunette. An hour later, she found one of her blonde hairs on my pillow, and accused me of cheating. FML

by Anonymous / 08/17/2015 at 6:46pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love

Today, I was walking to my car with 600 dollars worth of books because I start college next week, when I was robbed by some guy that sounded like Cartman. He punched me because I could not stop laughing whenever he would try to threaten me. FML

by OhWhoCares / 08/17/2015 at 5:34pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, to prove that my girlfriend is a "total skank", my best friend seduced her and showed me the video he secretly filmed of it. FML

by YES I MEAN *EX* GIRLFRIEND / 08/17/2015 at 4:14pm / Canada / Intimacy

Today, I found out that my homophobic boyfriend, who I was giving a chance to grow the fuck up and get over his obsession with bashing gays, has been cheating on me with another man. FML

by Anonymous / 06/13/2015 at 10:26am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, a man tried to rob the store I work at. Before the guy was taken by the cops, he complained to my manager for "unfriendly behavior". He took it seriously and bitched me out for not providing "quality service" to our customers. FML

by notfuckingpaidenough / 06/13/2015 at 7:45am / United States (California) / Work

Today, I underwent surgery and feeling rather groggy upon being awoken, I very loudly declared, "I've always had a thing for doctors. Kiss me?" then promptly giggled, tried to launch myself in a random doctor's arms and fell flat on my face. FML

by Anonymous / 06/12/2015 at 3:43pm / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Love

Today, my apparently insane and now ex-girlfriend actually claimed she didn't technically cheat on me, because she set her Facebook relationship to "single" before screwing my brother. FML

by waiting till marriage, she said / 06/10/2015 at 11:28am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, just before a job interview, I coughed so violently that I lost my voice. FML

by WarMachine68 / 06/06/2015 at 3:19pm / United States (Kansas) / Work

Today, I decided to wax my eyebrows. My entire eyebrow came off. FML

by Eyebrowless / 06/06/2015 at 12:29pm / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous

Today, like every other day, my wife doesn't have time for sex because she's too busy on Facebook. Then she bitched me out because "we never have sex anymore." FML

by cockblockedbyFB / 06/06/2015 at 9:01am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy