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XAndrea_MalikX

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XAndrea_MalikX
  • Town/Country : Louisiana, United States of America
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 4 July 1997 (16 years)
  • Number of visits : 604
  • Number of comments : 13
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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XAndrea_MalikX's favorite FMLs

Today, after years of marriage and my lazy husband letting himself go, I can now finish a bottle of wine and still be sober. This means I've built immunity to the last thing that can make me want to have sex with him. FML

#21119490
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27589) - you deserved it (6547)

On 04/21/2014 at 11:00pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, at my wedding, my husband stood up to give a speech. It started out beautiful, until he told everyone how he started to fall in love with me after I blew him on our first date. FML

#21118892
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32686) - you deserved it (6907)

On 04/21/2014 at 11:43am - intimacy - by Sue Ellen (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I found out that even though my girlfriend of 3 years believes sex before marriage or even me just jacking off is a big no, doing online strip-shows for money is a big yes for her. Both times that I've proposed, she claimed she isn't "ready" for marriage. FML

#21118108
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33462) - you deserved it (6267)

On 04/20/2014 at 1:58pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Wigan)

Today, my guide dog sneezed so hard that it slammed its head on the floor and knocked itself out. I have to trust this dog with my life. FML

#21117679
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39068) - you deserved it (3485)

On 04/20/2014 at 12:03am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Idaho)

Today, my crazily elitist parents were so desperate to get me to dump my fiancé that they threatened to divorce if I didn't. When I told them to go ahead, they bitched me out for being disrespectful. FML

#21117173
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34948) - you deserved it (2848)

On 04/19/2014 at 1:25pm - love - by reb (woman) - United Kingdom (Ealing)

Today, after living in my apartment for nearly a year, I heard my neighbor having a violent toilet session. Now I realize he's always been able to hear the wrath of my bowels too. We wave at each other every day. FML

Today, I was babysitting a 9-year-old kid, when she got thirsty and asked for a drink. All I could find was some kind of Mexican fruit drink, but I didn't realize until too late that it was actually hard liquor. I had to scrub her mouth out with toothpaste and put her to bed to cover it all up. FML

#21116530
240 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21393) - you deserved it (36918)

On 04/18/2014 at 5:31pm - kids - by cantprovenothing (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I had my teacher look over my essay before turning it in. He said it was extremely well-written, so I handed it in. When I got it back, the feedback he left said it was one of the worst essays he'd ever read. FML

#21115571
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42575) - you deserved it (3604)

On 04/17/2014 at 3:59pm - work - by badessaymyass (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, it's my birthday. The only people who wished me a happy birthday were the ones who saw the "birthday boy" poster my sister plastered around school, which included a photo of me as a kid dressed up as a girl. FML

#21114561
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36870) - you deserved it (3344)

On 04/16/2014 at 1:24pm - misc - by birthdaygirl - United States (California)

Today, I met up with an old friend of mine who acts in a TV show. I hadn't seen him in a long time, but I'd been watching episodes of the show almost daily, so when he showed up I could only see him as his TV character and not as my friend. I ended up calling him by his character's name. FML

#21114249
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36909) - you deserved it (11488)

On 04/16/2014 at 12:13am - misc - by Confused (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was eating an apple in class. When I went to take a big bite, my teeth went right through the apple, causing me to scrape the apple right up my face. My nose then started to bleed. I'm now known as the girl who punched herself in the face with an apple. FML

#21114169
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35650) - you deserved it (6173)

On 04/15/2014 at 10:48pm - health - by Nose bleed - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I sat and watched the CEO of DreamWorks on TV misuse words such as "quantum". He's filthy rich, whereas I'm a savagely underpaid gardener. FML

Today, I was telling my dad about how annoying it was to constantly have my ten-year-old cousin message me about her new boyfriend, when he suddenly bursts out laughing about how she can get a boyfriend at ten, and I have never even kissed a guy and I'm seventeen. FML

#21114115
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36854) - you deserved it (4413)

On 04/15/2014 at 10:18pm - love - by Foreveralone17362562 - Canada (Alberta)

Today, our family went to a water park. The park's mascot came up to greet us, and my daughter got scared. She then refused to go inside, so we had no choice but to leave. FML

#21114019
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30951) - you deserved it (4561)

On 04/15/2014 at 8:20pm - kids - by Someone (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend stayed over at my place for the first time. I left him in the bedroom for a couple of minutes while I used the toilet, and when I came back, he was holding my vibrator. He angrily asked me, "What the hell is this? You know this is cheating, right?" FML

#21113687
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43305) - you deserved it (6137)

On 04/15/2014 at 12:37pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)



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