Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

XAndrea_MalikX

Offline (the 07/16/2015 at 6:24pm) | Search for a member

XAndrea_MalikX

4Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 6246
  • Number of comments : 15
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

XAndrea_MalikX's page activity

Visits<b>TheJasonLi</b> - the 07/23/2015 at 2:00pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 07/04/2015 at 12:04am<b>karacakal2</b> - the 07/03/2015 at 8:49pm<b>03stroker03</b> - the 05/25/2015 at 6:21pm<b>rafa015</b> - the 05/10/2015 at 10:04pm<b>davisjenny81</b> - the 03/26/2015 at 4:41pm<b>giantsfan2010</b> - the 03/20/2015 at 9:12pm<b>jaredph</b> - the 03/13/2015 at 2:58pm<b>BigLatchZatch</b> - the 03/09/2015 at 10:10pm<b>jazzybrar</b> - the 11/23/2014 at 2:10am<b>lisaint</b> - the 10/27/2014 at 1:54pm<b>alyyssaaxoxo</b> - the 10/25/2014 at 8:25pm<b>abattior</b> - the 10/03/2014 at 10:45pm<b>Garrett2818</b> - the 09/17/2014 at 12:23am<b>levention</b> - the 09/14/2014 at 4:57am<b>vancity14</b> - the 09/09/2014 at 3:52am<b>heffastera</b> - the 09/08/2014 at 3:59pm<b>jesuisdesole</b> - the 09/08/2014 at 3:25am

Fucked!<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 07/04/2015 at 6:04am<b>karacakal2</b> - the 07/04/2015 at 2:49am<b>jaredph</b> - the 03/13/2015 at 7:58pm<b>spockadelic</b> - the 09/08/2014 at 2:32am

XAndrea_MalikX's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

See all of XAndrea_MalikX's badges

XAndrea_MalikX's favorite FMLs

Today, my dog brought me a a dead rabbit. It so happened to be the rabbit a group of neighborhood kids were looking for after they lost it yesterday. I just had to hide a body for my dog. FML

Today, I found a picture of myself on the "People of Walmart" site. FML

#21439858
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29009) - you deserved it (16294)

On 07/11/2015 at 1:03am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, a very intoxicated man came in to my workplace and bought 50 dollars worth of yogurt, talked about the fact that he shouldn't have to wear pants in public, then threw up all over the register. FML

Today, as I kissed my husband after our wedding vows, my mother-in-law muttered "Slut." loudly from the front row. Everyone heard her, but kept smiling and pretended to be oblivious. FML

#21432863
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29623) - you deserved it (2036)

On 06/27/2015 at 2:56pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, as I kissed my husband after our wedding vows, my mother-in-law muttered "Slut." loudly from the front row. Everyone heard her, but kept smiling and pretended to be oblivious. FML

#21432863
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29623) - you deserved it (2036)

On 06/27/2015 at 2:56pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I brought my best friend home and told my dad we were going to study together. He loudly replied "Woah!", stumbled around for a few seconds like he was drunk, then apologized and said the "sheer amount of gayness" between us had overloaded his gaydar. We're not gay, dammit! FML

#21429349
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25552) - you deserved it (2993)

On 06/21/2015 at 2:04am - misc - by notgay (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I went to my boyfriends house to meet his parents, and now they have a dead rabbit because I sat on it. FML

#21428963
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25254) - you deserved it (5207)

On 06/20/2015 at 6:42am - animals - by rabbitkiller - China (Nei Mongol)

Today, I wore a sleeveless shirt for the first time in years, when I glimpsed something on my shoulder that looked like a spider. I let out a scream that sounded like a donkey having a stroke and flailed my arms. Then I realized it was my tattoo, and that I was freaking out everyone on the bus. FML

#21427542
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24201) - you deserved it (11971)

On 06/17/2015 at 11:41am - misc - by HURP (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I found out that my homophobic boyfriend, who I was giving a chance to grow the fuck up and get over his obsession with bashing gays, has been cheating on me with another man. FML

#21425403
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38574) - you deserved it (4211)

On 06/13/2015 at 10:26am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my long-distance boyfriend arrived, took off my bra and told my boobs, "I missed you guys", then took off my panties and said, "Hey buddy" to my vagina before saying he missed me to my face. FML

Today, my husband and I broke the news to my 10-year-old son that in about 8 months, he'll have a baby brother or sister. I knew he never wanted a sibling, but I didn't expect him to throw a tantrum, then look at me through teary eyes and scream, "Why can't you keep your fucking legs closed?" FML

#21423894
318 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36068) - you deserved it (7553)

On 06/10/2015 at 12:13pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I asked my boyfriend to come hang out with me. He said he was busy and had to do homework. Since he never studies, I got suspicious and went to check up on him. I found him playing dress-up with his cat. He's 17. FML

#21421616
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27785) - you deserved it (4685)

On 06/06/2015 at 1:52am - animals - by iamfab - Australia (Queensland)

Today, at work a customer bitched me out for not explicitly telling her that our peanut butter pancakes contain real peanut butter. She's threatening to sue because she's allergic to peanuts. FML

#21420888
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28412) - you deserved it (1966)

On 06/04/2015 at 9:07pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Indiana)

Today, I had to skip lunch to work on a big project, so I stopped by a vending machine. The number I wanted was 126, but I accidentally typed 124, using my last dollar. 124 was the only empty row. FML

#21418098
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28906) - you deserved it (4991)

On 05/30/2015 at 2:53pm - money - by broke and hungry - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I finally found a bug I had been trying to get rid of. When I removed my bra, I noticed what looked like a piece of bug on it. Apparently, the bug was flattened and suffocated by my boob the entire day. FML

#21414219
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25431) - you deserved it (2568)

On 05/22/2015 at 10:26pm - misc - by Kurda (woman) - United States (North Carolina)



FML's blog

  • Pauline's illustrated FML
  • Come on, no need to make that face ! Yep, it's sadly the last, mournful days of Summer. People are packing up their beach balls and flip flops, putting their caravans back into storage and trying to forget…

Friday 28 August 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: