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XAndrea_MalikX

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XAndrea_MalikX
  • Town/Country : Louisiana, United States of America
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 4 July 1997 (16 years)
  • Number of visits : 603
  • Number of comments : 13
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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XAndrea_MalikX's favorite FMLs

Today, my guide dog sneezed so hard that it slammed its head on the floor and knocked itself out. I have to trust this dog with my life. FML

#21117679
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19554) - you deserved it (1865)

On 04/20/2014 at 12:03am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Idaho)

Today, my crazily elitist parents were so desperate to get me to dump my fiancé that they threatened to divorce if I didn't. When I told them to go ahead, they bitched me out for being disrespectful. FML

#21117173
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25372) - you deserved it (1957)

On 04/19/2014 at 1:25pm - love - by reb (woman) - United Kingdom (Ealing)

Today, after living in my apartment for nearly a year, I heard my neighbor having a violent toilet session. Now I realize he's always been able to hear the wrath of my bowels too. We wave at each other every day. FML

#21116951
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25883) - you deserved it (2677)

On 04/19/2014 at 3:44am - misc - by crappy - United States

Today, I was babysitting a 9-year-old kid, when she got thirsty and asked for a drink. All I could find was some kind of Mexican fruit drink, but I didn't realize until too late that it was actually hard liquor. I had to scrub her mouth out with toothpaste and put her to bed to cover it all up. FML

#21116530
218 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18313) - you deserved it (31489)

On 04/18/2014 at 5:31pm - kids - by cantprovenothing (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I had my teacher look over my essay before turning it in. He said it was extremely well-written, so I handed it in. When I got it back, the feedback he left said it was one of the worst essays he'd ever read. FML

#21115571
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38976) - you deserved it (3272)

On 04/17/2014 at 3:59pm - work - by badessaymyass (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, it's my birthday. The only people who wished me a happy birthday were the ones who saw the "birthday boy" poster my sister plastered around school, which included a photo of me as a kid dressed up as a girl. FML

#21114561
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34957) - you deserved it (3177)

On 04/16/2014 at 1:24pm - misc - by birthdaygirl - United States (California)

Today, I met up with an old friend of mine who acts in a TV show. I hadn't seen him in a long time, but I'd been watching episodes of the show almost daily, so when he showed up I could only see him as his TV character and not as my friend. I ended up calling him by his character's name. FML

#21114249
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35261) - you deserved it (10609)

On 04/16/2014 at 12:13am - misc - by Confused (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was eating an apple in class. When I went to take a big bite, my teeth went right through the apple, causing me to scrape the apple right up my face. My nose then started to bleed. I'm now known as the girl who punched herself in the face with an apple. FML

#21114169
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34001) - you deserved it (5905)

On 04/15/2014 at 10:48pm - health - by Nose bleed - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I sat and watched the CEO of DreamWorks on TV misuse words such as "quantum". He's filthy rich, whereas I'm a savagely underpaid gardener. FML

Today, I was telling my dad about how annoying it was to constantly have my ten-year-old cousin message me about her new boyfriend, when he suddenly bursts out laughing about how she can get a boyfriend at ten, and I have never even kissed a guy and I'm seventeen. FML

#21114115
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35006) - you deserved it (4172)

On 04/15/2014 at 10:18pm - love - by Foreveralone17362562 - Canada (Alberta)

Today, our family went to a water park. The park's mascot came up to greet us, and my daughter got scared. She then refused to go inside, so we had no choice but to leave. FML

#21114019
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29640) - you deserved it (4364)

On 04/15/2014 at 8:20pm - kids - by Someone (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend stayed over at my place for the first time. I left him in the bedroom for a couple of minutes while I used the toilet, and when I came back, he was holding my vibrator. He angrily asked me, "What the hell is this? You know this is cheating, right?" FML

#21113687
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41187) - you deserved it (5773)

On 04/15/2014 at 12:37pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I handed in the answer sheet an hour into a 3-hour long exam because I couldn't answer most of the questions. Now, everyone thinks I'm genius because I "finished" quickly and they want me to tutor them. FML

#21113382
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33045) - you deserved it (9641)

On 04/15/2014 at 12:35am - work - by idontknowwhatiamdoing (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my coworker tried to convince my boss that I'm not human. Her examples of how I'm influenced by demons included how I don't wear a jacket in the winter, and that I once got a nosebleed from sneezing. My boss thinks she's hilarious and is playing along. FML

#21111822
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35746) - you deserved it (3379)

On 04/13/2014 at 10:51am - work - by worker666 (woman) - United States

Today, I realized that my boyfriend is so obsessed with tickling me that my body has developed a conditioned response. Now I flinch every time he touches me, no matter what we're doing. FML

#21111720
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35386) - you deserved it (3301)

On 04/13/2014 at 5:33am - love - by Ticklish - United States (Iowa)



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