Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Woodford13

Search for a member

Woodford13
  • Town/Country : Laurel, Merica
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Sunday 4 June 1995 (18 years)
  • Number of visits : 48
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About Woodford13 : I'm Tyler W. Wood, I'm and EOD specialist in the United States Army. I'm from Delaware. I like to see the glass half full. And I love the god blessed U.S.A.

Woodford13's last visitors

Larissa24actuallyahippoTheCitizens96spartan53pistachiopandadawnleemorganbrooke_lalainelex1459KaseyAlyjaffvisDeerohdahshet

Woodford13's FML badges

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

See all of Woodford13's badges

Woodford13's favorite FMLs

Today, I was out with my girlfriend at a club. As a slow dance began, a guy approached and asked, "May I cut in?" My girlfriend surprised me by saying, "Sure!" As I was about to protest, the guy cut me off and said, "Sorry miss, I was asking him." FML

#21059471
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44184) - you deserved it (5976)

On 02/13/2014 at 8:31pm - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I ran out of toilet paper. I yelled from the bathroom for my parents to bring me some toilet paper. My dad slipped one tiny piece of toilet paper under the door and boomed, "THE FINAL TEST." FML

#21058095
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37632) - you deserved it (5010)

On 02/12/2014 at 12:57pm - misc - by airhead2015 (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I went to the doctor, only to find out I can no longer eat chocolate, my favorite food. When I got home, my boyfriend took the chocolate cake I'd been eating from the fridge, sat down in front of me, and ate the whole thing without breaking eye contact. FML

#21025897
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50123) - you deserved it (6310)

On 01/12/2014 at 8:00pm - health - by foreveralone - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was taking a shower with my boyfriend. While we were washing our hair, he got soap in his eyes and mouth. I was facing him, and since his eyes were closed he didn't realize how close I was. When he spat the soap out, it went straight into my eyes. Neither of us could see. FML

#20994581
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41504) - you deserved it (5807)

On 12/16/2013 at 11:44am - misc - by abc123 (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, after having some drinks at the club, I went home with this awesome girl. When I woke up, I thought the house looked really familiar. It belonged to my ex's younger sister. FML

#20970124
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42672) - you deserved it (14696)

On 11/25/2013 at 12:38pm - intimacy - by sister sister - United States (New York)

Today, my boyfriend went down on me. I don't know why, but my mind wandered. He now thinks that he has the skills of a porn star, while I'm pretty sure that finally solving a mathematical problem I've been working on for a week caused me to orgasm. FML

#20963297
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42851) - you deserved it (6387)

On 11/19/2013 at 12:13pm - intimacy - by you+me-clothes=53>< (woman) - Austria (Wien)

Today, I arranged a romantic dinner for my boyfriend. His favourite meal, fresh flowers, scented candles. Everything went beautifully, at least until he wrapped an arm around me and whispered, "Want some dick?" into my ear. Mood horrifically ruined. FML

#19717228
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26273) - you deserved it (6123)

On 06/01/2012 at 7:50pm - intimacy - by dating a manchild (woman) - Denmark (Hovedstaden)

Today, I was shaving naked in my cold bathroom before showering. My wife walked up behind me, yelled "Shrinkage!" and flicked the head of my penis as hard as she could. FML

#19261628
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24947) - you deserved it (3029)

On 03/12/2012 at 12:16am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my boss asked if he could pay me in guns. FML

#16571694
323 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25029) - you deserved it (4122)

On 06/09/2011 at 12:06am - work - by grant b - United States (Texas)

Today, I promised my boyfriend a blow job every time he does the dishes. Every dish in the house has been washed three times already. FML

#15718627
304 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17010) - you deserved it (60905)

On 04/10/2011 at 1:07am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kentucky)



FML's blog

  • Zoé's Illustrated FML
  • Hey there, young whippersnappers. Yes, you, the youth. I’m talking to you, sitting at home, scratching your asses. Why aren’t you doing something more constructive with your lives? Stop watching that shit…

Friday 18 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: