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Wolverine33

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Wolverine33
  • Town/Country : USA
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 583
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About Wolverine33 : Hi, I'm Tim. I love playing basketball and listening to music. My favorite color is either purple or cyan. My favorite shows are How I Met Your Mother, The Walking Dead, Supernatural, and Breaking Bad. I like to read but never actually do it, my favorite movies are comedies. There, now you know about me. I like talking to people, so message me!



STRANGE MUSIC! FUNK VOLUME!

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Wolverine33's favorite FMLs

Today, after living in my apartment for nearly a year, I heard my neighbor having a violent toilet session. Now I realize he's always been able to hear the wrath of my bowels too. We wave at each other every day. FML

Today, I was eating an apple in class. When I went to take a big bite, my teeth went right through the apple, causing me to scrape the apple right up my face. My nose then started to bleed. I'm now known as the girl who punched herself in the face with an apple. FML

#21114169
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36075) - you deserved it (6210)

On 04/15/2014 at 10:48pm - health - by Nose bleed - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my house was robbed. My two 70-pound German Shepherds obeyed me when I told them to attack. They also obeyed the robber when he said, "Sit". FML

#21113538
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47089) - you deserved it (4089)

On 04/15/2014 at 8:08am - animals - by stupiddog (man) - United States (California)

Today, I thought it would be funny to smack my daughter's head gently with a balloon. It hit her hair clip and exploded. She won't stop crying, and my wife will be home any minute. I'm screwed. FML

#21100295
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39249) - you deserved it (16486)

On 03/30/2014 at 4:36pm - kids - by and not even in the good way (man) - United States

Today, I was in my Honors English class. I sneezed very loudly while my teacher was giving a lecture. I had the genius idea to say, "Sorry, I'm allergic to bullshit." FML

Today, I was walking through town with my hood up and noticed people giving me funny looks. It wasn't until I got home that I realised the umbrella I was holding over my head had been closed the whole time. FML

#21079127
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35812) - you deserved it (14229)

On 03/05/2014 at 9:09pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Portsmouth)

Today, I spent my first night at my boyfriend's place, and my first night sleeping beside him. I woke up in the early hours to him holding me and muttering in his sleep something like "surprise fisting". I'm beyond terrified. FML

#21078055
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42541) - you deserved it (4590)

On 03/04/2014 at 5:41pm - intimacy - by cockfist (woman) - United Kingdom (Glasgow City)

Today, while walking through Wal-Mart I noticed a cute employee. With a sudden burst of confidence, I walked right up to him, intending to ask for his number. Instead, I looked him in the eye and said, "Excuse me sir, how much do you know about bedsheets?" and then ran. FML

#21077619
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37507) - you deserved it (9933)

On 03/04/2014 at 4:06am - love - by booksandshadows (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I got my first massage. At the end, the masseuse made a gesture indicating which way the exit was. After having had her hands all over my body for the past hour, I thought the gesture was indicative of a goodbye hug. Things got awkward really fast. FML

#21076286
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33434) - you deserved it (7442)

On 03/02/2014 at 9:30pm - misc - by AlwaysAwkward - United States (Ohio)

Today, after paying at the gas station, the cashier stuck out her hand, which was clenched into a fist. I thought she wanted a fist-bump, so I gave her one. She just stared back at me. Turns out she was just trying to give me my change. FML

#21075108
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34091) - you deserved it (13143)

On 03/01/2014 at 4:09pm - money - by SarahNB - United States (Utah)

Today, I was driving along, and went to spit out my window. My window was up. This happened in heavy traffic. People saw. FML

#21070244
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17234) - you deserved it (44716)

On 02/24/2014 at 10:21am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I walked into my apartment and smelled something extremely repugnant. I asked my roommate what had happened and she said, "I didn't know how else to kill it!" She'd trapped a bat that was in our apartment, put it in the oven, and set it to 400 degrees. FML

#21067130
270 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47016) - you deserved it (3523)

On 02/20/2014 at 11:10pm - misc - by BakedBat (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my girlfriend and I were quite drunk while we were fooling around on the couch, when I decided I wanted to lose my virginity to her. I was two thrusts in when she burst out laughing. Looking down, I realized I was between her cheeks and the couch cushion. I lost my virginity to her couch. FML

#21053213
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46761) - you deserved it (15564)

On 02/07/2014 at 9:18am - intimacy - by Unknown - United States (Iowa)

Today, I was driving along when I noticed a kid struggling to push his car up the crest of a hill. I jumped out to help him, and he acted surprised to see me. Once we got the car over the hill, it rolled on down. I then saw that no one was actually in the driver's seat. I'd helped a vandal. FML

#21052299
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41478) - you deserved it (7505)

On 02/06/2014 at 11:54am - misc - by Delanto - United States

Today, I found a Google search for "erectile dysfunction" in my browser search history, along with pages about treatments for it. I'm a woman, and I live alone. FML

#21049445
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43276) - you deserved it (2986)

On 02/03/2014 at 4:16pm - misc - by jai90 (woman) - Netherlands (Utrecht)



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