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Wolpy

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Wolpy
  • Town/Country : Israel
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 26 July 1995 (18 years)
  • Number of visits : 819
  • Number of comments : 9
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Wolpy : I love FML. That is all.

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Wolpy's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to the movies with my husband and our 6-year-old son. My husband kept stealing popcorn from the guy next to him, to the point where the guy punched him in the face. The movie was stopped, the police were called, and my son is now inconsolable. FML

#20881087
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42623) - you deserved it (4550)

On 09/14/2013 at 3:32pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Iceland (Gullbringusysla)

Today, after having recently told my 4-year-old daughter that she won't grow big and tall if she doesn't eat her veggies, she decided to pass this wisdom on to a midget that we passed in the store. FML

#20877041
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54517) - you deserved it (8925)

On 09/11/2013 at 2:10pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, at my boyfriend's brother's house, I desperately needed to poop. After finishing my business, I realized the toilet wouldn't flush. I had to pull my poop out, wrap it in TP and make an excuse to go outside to throw it in a bush. The neighbor was watching. FML

#20874714
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38537) - you deserved it (10014)

On 09/09/2013 at 6:05pm - misc - by heyhijello - United States (California)

Today, I went to my first class of the year. The first thing the teacher said was, "I hate this f*cking school." FML

#20867651
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31546) - you deserved it (2238)

On 09/04/2013 at 4:39pm - misc - by swana99 - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I took my laptop to I.T. to fix my internet. Only after I left did I realise my memory technique for remembering the stages of mitosis (Iraqi penis man anally transmits chlamydia) was left as a sticky note on my desktop. The guy definitely noticed. FML

#20867249
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30670) - you deserved it (9726)

On 09/04/2013 at 7:18am - misc - by interphaseprophasemetaphase (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my husband wanted to try anal for the first time. His attempt to sound romantic was him saying, "Open your buns, the meat is ready." FML

#20767385
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52484) - you deserved it (7434)

On 07/06/2013 at 5:21pm - intimacy - by hamburger - United States (Michigan)

Today, after going out to dinner with my girlfriend, we went back to my place and things started getting hot. I went in the bathroom and put on a green condom. She wouldn't have sex with me because it looked "like a cucumber" and "cucumbers are nasty." FML

#20745688
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44300) - you deserved it (11005)

On 06/25/2013 at 12:22am - intimacy - by dan (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. She pulled down my trousers, saw my Poke-ball boxers, and absolutely lost it. I had to lie next to her in bed for the next 10 minutes hearing her howl with laughter while crying "Dickachu, I choose you!" FML

#20711208
210 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48325) - you deserved it (57905)

On 06/07/2013 at 3:10am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my brother looked me dead in the eyes and said his life goal is to find a way to jizz on everyone in the world. I'm scared. FML

#20703677
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51825) - you deserved it (4650)

On 06/03/2013 at 4:14pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Poland (Kujawsko-Pomorskie)

Today, I went to the pharmacy to buy condoms. My card was declined, and I had to stand and watch in morbid fascination as the man behind me kindly paid for my purchase. His reason was "God forbid a maxed out Visa should get in the way of fucking." FML

#20698637
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63172) - you deserved it (17993)

On 06/01/2013 at 1:09am - intimacy - by Samprib (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, my girlfriend and I were about to have sex for the first time when her mother unexpectedly came home. In the rush to get dressed, we accidentally put on each other's shirts. Her mom noticed. FML

#20670515
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44669) - you deserved it (16357)

On 05/18/2013 at 8:54am - intimacy - by lez probs - United States

Today, my wife told me that getting in the mood to have sex with me is like trying to get in the mood to hit the treadmill. FML

#20638629
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50276) - you deserved it (6851)

On 05/03/2013 at 8:13am - intimacy - by Who1s269 (man) - United States

Today, I was getting ready, when I heard my dad in the shower. He was singing along to the song "The Wheel in the Sky" by Journey. Except he'd changed the lyrics and was singing, "The dick on this guy needs a rubbin'." It turns out my mom was in the shower with him. FML

#20634724
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57602) - you deserved it (4555)

On 05/01/2013 at 12:13pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. Just as I was about to orgasm, he pulled away and said that my vagina is like a mask and that he feels like Bane from Batman. He's been talking in a Bane voice to my vagina for 30 minutes now. I guess sex is over. FML

#20586362
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56726) - you deserved it (10175)

On 04/12/2013 at 11:34am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I went to the store to buy oranges and pick up a pack of condoms. When we were at the checkout counter, my boyfriend happily told the cashier, "The only way we can have sex is if we squeeze oranges all over our bodies." FML

#20583013
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50459) - you deserved it (11398)

On 04/10/2013 at 12:28am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States



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