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by buster / 02/13/2009 at 3:06am / United States (Florida) / Work
by Crog / 02/11/2009 at 6:59am / United Kingdom (Monmouthshire) / Kids
Today, I gave my girlfriend some non-alcoholic beer as a joke. In slurred speech, she told me I have the body of a monk seal. She then took my keys, staggered to my car, and drove away. She crashed into a tree two blocks later. She's fine. FML
by IntimidatorStag / 02/06/2009 at 6:54pm / United States (California) / Love
by Anonymous / 01/04/2009 at 12:22am / Miscellaneous
Today, I was telling off one of my friends, a fellow student of medicine, who was spending his evenings watching "House" instead of revising for our important exam, as I was. The topic mentioned in the episode came up in the exam. He got 4 points more than I did. FML
Today, I attended my first meeting with my bosses. For lunch we went to a restaurant. I choked on a piece of meat and couldn't breathe anymore. I had to take that piece of meat out of my throat with my fingers, and then put it back on my plate all chewed up. FML
- Today, my girlfriend woefully admitted that she thinks of me more as a brother than as a boyfriend,… Today, my husband and I were role playing to keep our marriage alive. His character was a deranged… Today, after sharing my first night in bed with my boyfriend, I woke up early, and decided to rouse…