Wiktoryaa

Search for a member

Wiktoryaa

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Thursday 22 October 1992 (23 years old)
  • <3 status : Not so sure
  • Number of visits : 593
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Wiktoryaa : I love ducks and Swedish language.
I'm French :)
don't send me messages, I use the app on my iPod.

Wiktoryaa's page activity

Visits<b>ANP24</b> - the 09/04/2013 at 6:23am

Wiktoryaa's FML badges

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

Wiktoryaa's favorite FMLs

Today, I used a restroom. While doing my thing, the power in my building completely went out. There was another person in the restroom making demonic noises and scratching at my stall. When the power came back on, he was gone. I think I'm being haunted. FML

by dear god help me. / 09/04/2013 at 6:46pm / United States (Hawaii) / Work

Today, we went boating with friends. For some reason the bottom of our tube deflated, causing me to be bounced roughly up and down on the water. As a result, I had the most intense orgasm of my entire life, while sitting 2 inches away from my dad's friend. He definitely noticed. FML

by SplishSplash / 08/31/2013 at 9:21pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, at work, I had to utter the phrase, "Sir, please stop rubbing yourself with the peas." It's exactly how it sounds. FML

by twatstick / 08/21/2013 at 1:30pm / United Kingdom (Nottinghamshire) / Work

Today, I sprayed down some ants in my house. In the sea of ant corpses was a single living ant seemingly cradling a dead one in its arms. I'm convinced I just became the villain in an epic tragedy. Now I have to live with my ant problem because I can't bear to tear another family apart. FML

by Blood on my hands / 08/07/2013 at 1:40am / United States / Animals

Today, I asked my surgeon if I would be having a general or local anesthetic at my upcoming operation. He replied, "General, of course! It's gonna be a slaughterhouse in there!" FML

by pong / 08/06/2013 at 5:59pm / France (Midi-Pyrenees) / Health

Today, I went to my boss's dinner party. My sister, who also works with me, sat across from me at the table. I felt her kick me so I kicked her back. Then I heard something start crying. It was the boss's baby crawling under the table. FML

by offuckingcourse / 08/06/2013 at 1:07am / Canada (Ontario) / Work

Today, I met the most beautiful girl I've ever seen on the beach. I was nervous, but I just smiled and said, "Hey, you're really pretty." Then I let out a horrific fart. FML

by YouSoSmelly / 08/02/2013 at 9:58am / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous

Today, my friend got dumped. I wanted to say, "You must be devastated", thinking, "That really sucks." I said, "You must really suck." FML

by Oops / 06/10/2013 at 7:22am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I got a concussion and several staples in my head. As it turns out, watering flowers is much more dangerous than it might sound. FML

by Sean / 06/09/2013 at 10:27pm / United States / Health

Today, while I was in the shower, I heard a door slam. Assuming it was my fiancé, I shouted "I love you!" I later opened the bathroom door to see my stereo and television missing. I'd said "I love you" to whoever robbed my apartment. FML

by ShowerGirl / 04/30/2013 at 3:54am / United States / Money

Today, my dog became scared of his own food bowl. He now barks for ages every time he sees it. FML

by conbon123 / 04/29/2013 at 3:20am / United States (Oregon) / Animals

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She didn't say no, she didn't faint, and she didn't cry. She just stared at me blankly and said, "But... why...?" FML

by Badam / 03/29/2013 at 9:29pm / France (Aquitaine) / Love

Today, whilst texting my boyfriend on the train, I noticed the woman sitting next to me staring intently at my phone. After letting my boyfriend know, he sent a message saying, "Are we gonna involve the dog again? Last night was fun." She gasped and screamed that I'm a "twisted dog-humping bitch." FML

by Anonymous / 03/25/2013 at 8:28pm / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Animals

Today, my psycho abstinence-only sex ed teacher claimed condoms give 50% protection at most against pregnancy. I couldn't help but correct her. She apologized for her "mistake", saying, "It's just that we're not ALL sluts, Kara." Now everyone thinks I'm a raging whore. FML

by Anonymous / 03/22/2013 at 8:34pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, while working my shift at Taco Bell, a creepy guy started flirting with me. He said, "You remind me of something," acting as if I knew him from elsewhere. I quickly said I used to work at Chili's. He shook his head and said, "No, not a person! An animal. A sloth maybe." FML

by SlothyMolly / 03/06/2013 at 12:19pm / United States / Work