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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 6093
  • Number of comments : 8
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Water's page activity

Visits<b>TurtleTim</b> - the 02/27/2016 at 12:24pm<b>EvilTurtle</b> - the 12/01/2015 at 5:52am<b>Envy22</b> - the 11/20/2015 at 4:53pm<b>americanafrican</b> - the 09/09/2015 at 6:26pm<b>sam9697</b> - the 01/04/2015 at 11:55am<b>Jthewat</b> - the 12/06/2014 at 1:16am<b>bigjake</b> - the 11/23/2014 at 6:07pm<b>dinosaursandfish</b> - the 12/24/2013 at 3:06am<b>JacobH34</b> - the 08/16/2013 at 6:41pm<b>derekmalc</b> - the 05/25/2013 at 2:21pm<b>sux4ubud</b> - the 05/20/2013 at 4:29pm<b>chosoo</b> - the 01/27/2013 at 3:32pm<b>dragon</b> - the 05/31/2009 at 4:53am<b>username666</b> - the 04/26/2009 at 12:51am<b>ohhdamn</b> - the 04/20/2009 at 5:24pm<b>Toxic_John</b> - the 04/16/2009 at 3:00pm<b>grandmasattack</b> - the 03/30/2009 at 12:38am<b>Eladar</b> - the 03/26/2009 at 7:30am

Fucked!<b>sam9697</b> - the 01/04/2015 at 5:55pm

Water's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

Water's favorite FMLs

Today, I saw an attractive man outside the club I was trying to get into to. We talked, and ended up having sex in my apartment. The next day when I was dropping him off, I discovered he was homeless and was outside the club begging for money. My house is suddenly out of bread and cheese. FML

by Melaknee / 03/18/2009 at 8:10pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy

Today, I was flirting with a really hot guy at a track meet and I gave him my number. When I asked him what school he went to he replied, "Oh, I don't go to school, We're from the juvenile corrections facility." FML

by Noname / 03/17/2009 at 10:42am / United States (California) / Love

Today, I was teaching a swimming lesson to 6-7 year old boys and girls. I recently broke up with my boyfriend so I haven't been taking care of my bikini line. While I was demonstrating how to do a whip-kick out of the water one of the boys said, "You have a beard coming out of your bathing suit!" FML

by superfkd / 03/14/2009 at 10:27pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids

Today, I was walking down the street and noticed a man in ripped clothes with a cup out asking for money. I was on my way to the movies but I felt like this man needed it more that me. Right as I gave it to him, he pulled out his blackberry. FML

by california / 03/14/2009 at 4:55pm / United States (South Carolina) / Money

Today, my Christian boyfriend of six months broke up with me. I had told him when we started dating that I was an atheist, and he just now decided to look up what it is. He gave me a bible. FML

by Noname / 03/14/2009 at 12:48pm / United States (Florida) / Love

Today, I was going to attempt to compliment my girlfriend, I planned on telling her that she smelled really nice. In a loving tone, I confidently told her, "Baby, you have a certain stench to you." FML

by DSM / 03/14/2009 at 7:05am / United States (North Dakota) / Love

Today, my friends and I were drinking boba. On the side of the cup it said "Please drink carefully to avoid choking on the Boba". I started to laugh at the ridiculousness of the label, and choked on the boba in a coughing fit. FML

by Noname / 03/13/2009 at 12:24am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was on the subway. I have fairly serious OCD, so I avoided holding the poles or handles. All the seats were taken, so I leaned against a wall. At the next stop, an obese, sweaty man got on and grabbed the two poles around me, effectively hugging me. My shirt was wet when he left. FML

by Anon / 03/13/2009 at 12:00am / United States (New Jersey) / Transportation

Today, I was babysitting an eleven year old boy. He decided we should play with nerf guns with velcro tips. I shot him in the crotch accidentally, and the dart stuck on his pants wiggling for about a full minute before his dad walked in to find us both staring at his son's crotch, giggling. FML

by xoVioLoveox / 03/09/2009 at 10:04pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Kids

Today, I tried to surprise my parents by coming home from college for Spring Break. I arrived to find a dark house, with all the doors bolted shut. After calling them, I found out that they have gone on a vacation to Hawaii for a week. I am now locked out of my own house, with no where to stay. FML

by Abandoned / 03/09/2009 at 1:50am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I finally told my best friend whom I've secretly been in love with for two years that I was in love with her but at the last second chickened out and said I was joking. She replied with "Don't scare me like that. I thought I was going to have to find a new best friend for a second" FML

by crap / 03/06/2009 at 11:17pm / United States (North Carolina) / Love

Today, I was working at Target when an old woman asked me if I could help her find her favorite bra. I asked what brand it was when she replied "I'll check the tag". She lifted up the front of her shirt, and flipped one cup of her bra inside out. I saw everything. FML

by laurenmay / 03/06/2009 at 6:11pm / United States (Florida) / Work

Today, I was at the dentist getting a cavity filled. As she's drilling into my tooth, I feel the drill slip, and then she quickly stuffs gauze into my mouth. She nervously laughs and says to me "Wow! You must really be numb!" FML

by Noname / 03/06/2009 at 5:20pm / United States (Connecticut) / Health

Today, I flew home early from a two month trip to Europe to surprise my boyfriend on his birthday. When I got to his house with a home baked cake from scratch and a quilt with slik-screened pictures from my trip, his roommate answered the door and said "Oh sorry, he's out with his girlfriend." FML

by Muscle / 03/06/2009 at 4:07pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love

Today, I put my picture into a celebrity look alike website. The three matches that came up were Barbra Streisand, Hillary Clinton, and Boy George. I'm 16. I'm a boy. FML

by oconron / 03/06/2009 at 1:09am / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous