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Offline (the 11/20/2014 at 5:05pm)



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Monday 17 January 2000 (16 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 479
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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Warriorcat17's page activity

Visits<b>tygerarmy</b> - the 11/19/2014 at 12:25am<b>robsmit98</b> - the 10/11/2014 at 2:56pm<b>martin8337</b> - the 10/08/2014 at 2:39pm<b>krundale</b> - the 04/24/2014 at 8:06pm

Warriorcat17's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

See all of Warriorcat17's badges

Warriorcat17's favorite FMLs

Today, at work, a crazy customer forced me to promise to take a holiday greeting picture of my cat and myself for her. She says she'll be back and expects one. FML

by not crazy enough / 11/17/2014 at 1:48pm / United States (Michigan) / Animals

Today, I was at my friend's Bar Mitzvah. After he finished his long-winded speech, I sarcastically did the mockingjay sign from the Hunger Games. It took a couple of seconds before I realized how that looked, and a couple more for me to be shouted down and kicked out. FML

by Anonymous / 11/08/2014 at 12:24pm / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was a pregnant man for Halloween. Everyone at school thought it was funny, except my principal, who gave me a detention and said it was, "inappropriate and making a pregnant teacher feel uncomfortable". That pregnant teacher asked me to take a selfie with her. FML

by anonymous / 10/31/2014 at 7:28pm / United States (Illinois) / Work

Today, I had to go to my dentist about a chipped tooth. I got it after my hand slipped off my dick and slammed straight into my face while I was masturbating. FML

by Anonymous / 10/30/2014 at 4:55pm / United States (Washington) / Intimacy

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend in the missionary position. Once again, our cat decided to crawl onto his back and stare at me. FML

by Drafrica / 10/13/2014 at 6:20am / South Africa / Intimacy

Today, I found out I'm allergic to condoms. Which would be great if my girlfriend wasn't allergic to birth control. FML

by oncehipjr / 10/03/2014 at 3:04pm / United States (Texas) / Health

Today, my mother threw an egg at my face with force because I returned home 5 minutes late to dinner. FML

by pasquale / 09/20/2014 at 2:54am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous

Today, I won a gruelling fitness competition, only to find out the mystery prize was a voucher to get 10 free spray tans. I'm black. FML

by disappointedjamaican / 08/31/2014 at 2:44pm / United Kingdom (Coventry) / Miscellaneous

Today, I learned that while other people drunk call their exes, I drunk adopt cats. Seven cats, to be exact. FML

by cat lady / 08/30/2014 at 7:56am / Norway (Rogaland) / Animals

Today, I went on a date with the world's biggest lightweight. She got blind drunk on wine before dessert, and slurred, "You look like... like a black... blueberry." Amused, I said, "You mean a blackberry?" She stared at me for several long seconds, confused, then passed out. Check please. FML

by wowzer / 08/28/2014 at 3:58pm / Puerto Rico / Love

Today, on the bus, a little boy gave me the dirtiest look, pointed at my pregnant stomach, and menacingly said, "I know what you did." FML

by Anonymous / 07/11/2014 at 7:03am / United States (Massachusetts) / Kids

Today, my wife bought a strap-on. I'm about fifty miles beyond terrified. FML

by possibly fucked / 06/22/2014 at 4:34pm / Portugal (Lisboa) / Intimacy

Today, 30 minutes after finishing a great date with a great girl, she texted me and said, "Yeah, uh, never come near me again." FML

by lax22 / 04/13/2014 at 4:33pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, someone on Instagram posted a picture of himself with gym lifting straps around his neck. I commented "autoerotic asphyxiation" and now a 250-pound bodybuilder wants to kill me. FML

by athletiks / 03/26/2014 at 6:39pm / United States (Washington) / Health

Today, on the eighth day of my diet, I met up with my study group. Everyone was snacking on junk food while I stuck to carrots. Someone put a Snickers bar on the table. "God, I want you," I thought. Turns out I was thinking out loud. The guy next to me inched his chair away. FML

by Anonymous / 02/04/2014 at 8:03pm / United States (New York) / Health