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Warez's favorite FMLs
by not a dick-man / 08/12/2014 at 1:05pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy
by BadLuck / 10/27/2013 at 10:30am / United States (Wisconsin) / Health
by FuckYouMotherNature / 08/07/2013 at 2:51am / United States (California) / Health
by Anon / 04/22/2013 at 3:19am / Singapore / Miscellaneous
Today, I was playing Apples to Apples with my girlfriend and a few others. The card that was drawn was labeled "pathetic". Among other cards that were laid down in attempts to be similar to "pathetic" was my girlfriend's card. She won with a create-a-card labeled "my sex life". FML
by anonymous / 11/10/2012 at 6:02am / United States / Love
by miss tomato / 06/08/2012 at 12:36pm / United States / Health
by SeeingLlamas / 04/17/2012 at 5:38am / United States (Tennessee) / Health
by Illinoisgirl / 02/14/2012 at 9:29am / Hungary (Budapest) / Love
Today, in science, we were studying reproduction. Our teacher was reading out the notes and claimed that 'the female's penis stiffens to enter the male's vagina.' I'm supposed to be learning stuff from this woman. FML
by girlshavepenises / 06/28/2011 at 2:39am / New Zealand (Auckland) / Intimacy
by AndieApocalypse / 06/03/2011 at 12:21am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I went to see "Black Swan" with my parents, not realizing that it was basically a porno. So I sat next to my dad while Mila Kunis and Natalie Portman had passionate lesbian sex on a twenty foot screen. And I'm pretty sure I heard the old guy behind us jacking off. FML
by Anonymous / 01/23/2011 at 7:07pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy
Today, whilst driving to the store, an idiot driver found it to be okay to drive ridiculously fast in below freezing temperatures on the ice and snow. As he passed my car, I angrily gave him the finger. And then I realized I was wearing mittens. FML
by Anonymous / 11/25/2010 at 12:24am / United States (Washington) / Transportation
Today, for my Teen Living class, all the students got a fake baby. In order to stop the baby from crying, you have to use the bracelet they provide. I lost the bracelet. I have the baby all weekend. FML
by Anonymous / 10/23/2010 at 2:47am / United States (Idaho) / Miscellaneous
Today, I came home to find that my pregnant cat had given birth to a stillborn kitten in every room of the house. It had then rubbed its butt around the house, leaving bloody stains everywhere. When I went to clean the white carpet, the bleach turned it green. FML
by Anonymous / 10/08/2010 at 12:33pm / United States (Florida) / Animals
Today, I found out my cousin - who suffers from bipolar disorder - shot herself in the chest and has only a 20 percent chance of living. I told my boyfriend, while crying, and he held me for a few minutes. As soon as I got quiet, he pulled out his iPhone and started playing a shooter game. FML
by lynn / 02/17/2010 at 1:30am / United States (Texas) / Love
- 1Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 2Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say… 3Today, I was eating my lunch. When I opened my mouth to eat a spoonful of rice, a bee flew right…