Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

VivaLaColdplay

Online | Search for a member

VivaLaColdplay

4Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 30 May 1993 (21 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 31323
  • Number of comments : 30
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About VivaLaColdplay : Elloh! :D

VivaLaColdplay's page activity

Visits<b>domolovesyoshi</b> - the 04/22/2015 at 4:13pm<b>acommonman</b> - the 04/20/2015 at 4:48am<b>ARetardedSeal</b> - the 04/17/2015 at 10:32pm<b>yuno_gasai</b> - the 03/21/2015 at 8:45am<b>flupsht</b> - the 03/12/2015 at 4:05pm<b>Beealicious</b> - the 03/04/2015 at 4:43pm<b>labaro19</b> - the 02/22/2015 at 10:46pm<b>makkarari</b> - the 02/20/2015 at 9:13pm<b>Pleonasm</b> - the 02/19/2015 at 7:22am<b>aleximo</b> - the 02/19/2015 at 4:06am<b>theflyingellis</b> - the 02/11/2015 at 12:02am<b>MetalxSoldier</b> - the 02/09/2015 at 11:07pm<b>missa8604</b> - the 02/05/2015 at 11:56pm<b>colton_colton</b> - the 02/02/2015 at 3:20pm<b>brittaaany_93</b> - the 01/25/2015 at 7:13am<b>Nickb55</b> - the 01/23/2015 at 8:49am<b>Darkness_Hate</b> - the 01/15/2015 at 4:38pm<b>notgointoeurope</b> - the 01/11/2015 at 11:02pm

Fucked!<b>domolovesyoshi</b> - the 04/22/2015 at 10:13pm<b>makkarari</b> - the 02/21/2015 at 3:13am<b>theflyingellis</b> - the 02/03/2015 at 2:34am<b>brittaaany_93</b> - the 01/25/2015 at 1:13pm

VivaLaColdplay's FML badges

42

You see, sonny boy, moderating FMLs is a bit like running a marathon.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

See all of VivaLaColdplay's badges

VivaLaColdplay's favorite FMLs

Today, it's my 40th birthday. I got two presents by mail: a jar of wrinkle cream from a market research company, and an ad from a funeral home. FML

#21329484
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29417) - you deserved it (2093)

On 01/02/2015 at 5:46pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, as usual, my boyfriend referred to his penis in the third person as "Mr. Willy". Even during sex. FML

#21328962
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29401) - you deserved it (4378)

On 01/01/2015 at 10:22pm - intimacy - by mrwilly (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I dragged my grill outside in the freezing cold to cook a steak for New Year's day. I left my spatula in the garage, and I set the still-wrapped steak on the grill. I was only gone 45 seconds, but that was long enough for my cat to open the wrapper and run off with my steak in his jaws. FML

#21328958
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26471) - you deserved it (6269)

On 01/01/2015 at 10:18pm - animals - by TaddM21 (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my proposal to my girlfriend was supposed to be exactly when the ball dropped at midnight. Unfortunately my mother called her at 11:55pm to ask her if she liked the ring. FML

#21328278
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40863) - you deserved it (3226)

On 01/01/2015 at 12:47am - love - by Proposal Fail - United States (New York)

 Today, my mom tried to give me a pep talk to boost my self confidence. Somehow, it ended up turning into a conversation about how much of a loser I am and how I have no friends. FML

#21327895
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26925) - you deserved it (2584)

On 12/31/2014 at 3:29pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I was trying on wedding dresses with my future sister-in-law who is a little bigger than me. We tried on a similar dress and she said it looked better on me because I'm skinny. Instead of saying, 'No way' or 'It looks great on you', I accidentally said 'Yeah, I know'. FML

#21327629
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17952) - you deserved it (30746)

On 12/31/2014 at 2:47am - health - by bridezilla - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, my sister is having a New Year's Eve party at our house. I'm not invited. FML

#21327508
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29694) - you deserved it (2839)

On 12/30/2014 at 11:29pm - misc - by Excalibur6669 (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my elderly neighbour told me why my other neighbours don't talk to me. I'm a massage/physical therapist and treat clients, mostly athletes, in my home. My neighbours saw the steady stream of young, buff guys coming to my house and concluded that I'm a gay prostitute. FML

#21327463
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33245) - you deserved it (2644)

On 12/30/2014 at 10:34pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, my coworker pointed to our nervous new intern and asked who he was. I jokingly said, "Can't you tell? He's our new slave." I then quickly realized how bad that sounded, given the intern is black. FML

#21327404
0 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26677) - you deserved it (15631)

On 12/30/2014 at 8:39pm - work - by smooth - United States

Today, my wife started a 24 hour urine collection as directed by the doctor for her pregnancy. She has to collect the urine in a gallon jug, and refrigerate it. At lunch time, I went to go get the rest of my sandwich but was unable to find it, until she suggested I "look under the piss jug." FML

Today, my fiancé proposed to me. He said, "I could have picked anyone, but I chose you. You're a solid 2, which is average. Not a 10, but I'm glad you're a 2. Less pressure, ya know." I'm not sure if I should be more upset with the fact that I'm "average", or the fact that he thought this was romantic. FML

#21325203
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34574) - you deserved it (3835)

On 12/27/2014 at 9:55am - love - by SupposedlyAverage (woman) - United States

Today, my mom got me a Christmas present. Since I'm a whovian, she thought it would be cool to get me what she thought was a sonic screwdriver. It was actually a dildo shaped as one. I opened the gift in front of my entire family. FML

#21323893
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33405) - you deserved it (3471)

On 12/25/2014 at 10:17am - intimacy - by whovian - United States (Maine)

Today, my new friend tried to introduce me to "American Culture," as I am new to the city. He explained what a hamburger is and how it differs from the Asian food I was used to eating. I moved from Seattle and have worked at Burger King. FML

#21317624
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33455) - you deserved it (2660)

On 12/14/2014 at 10:30pm - misc - by AsianSensation (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I took my Spanish exam. One of the questions was to translate "Mark is lazy and antisocial." My name is Mark. Everyone kept giving me weird looks the whole test. FML

#21316211
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29048) - you deserved it (2288)

On 12/12/2014 at 1:46pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, the family computer's 15-year-old CRT monitor which gives me headaches finally stopped working. My dad quickly found a replacement: an even older CRT monitor that gives me worse headaches. FML

#21311912
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30184) - you deserved it (2905)

On 12/05/2014 at 9:00am - misc - by has an old monitor (man) - Germany (Berlin)



FML's blog

  • FML's Question Time #2: School
  • We tried this before and it went pretty well, so here's another blog section for everyone to have give their opinion on a popular but controversial subject. OK, we're not debating a…

Thursday 23 April 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: