Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

VivaLaColdplay

Offline (14 hours ago) | Search for a member

VivaLaColdplay

9Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 30 May 1993 (22 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 35983
  • Number of comments : 30
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About VivaLaColdplay : Elloh! :D

VivaLaColdplay's page activity

Visits<b>Babygirl117</b> - the 07/23/2015 at 2:04pm<b>smash1122</b> - the 07/22/2015 at 12:42pm<b>iBrittanyy</b> - the 07/16/2015 at 1:45pm<b>Hawleydolly</b> - the 07/15/2015 at 12:30am<b>Miouxsangster</b> - the 07/13/2015 at 1:06am<b>TheDog6</b> - the 07/12/2015 at 11:22pm<b>killjoyx</b> - the 07/12/2015 at 10:41pm<b>Wizardo</b> - the 07/07/2015 at 11:06pm<b>swaglesshipster</b> - the 07/07/2015 at 7:08pm<b>Aziraya</b> - the 07/07/2015 at 6:34pm<b>Idiotskillme</b> - the 07/06/2015 at 10:45pm<b>apineapple</b> - the 07/05/2015 at 4:02pm<b>roys1girl</b> - the 07/04/2015 at 11:06pm<b>hardesty2904</b> - the 06/28/2015 at 10:55am<b>kindasortayeah</b> - the 06/27/2015 at 11:42pm<b>Monday_funday</b> - the 06/13/2015 at 4:12pm<b>Shadowvoid</b> - the 06/11/2015 at 8:22pm<b>ToxicPlant</b> - the 06/10/2015 at 6:29pm

Fucked!<b>roys1girl</b> - the 07/04/2015 at 2:09pm<b>kindasortayeah</b> - the 06/28/2015 at 5:41am<b>apineapple</b> - the 06/14/2015 at 10:37pm<b>Bazinga_1821</b> - the 05/10/2015 at 9:34pm<b>wysteria14</b> - the 05/04/2015 at 6:41pm<b>domolovesyoshi</b> - the 04/22/2015 at 10:13pm<b>makkarari</b> - the 02/21/2015 at 3:13am<b>theflyingellis</b> - the 02/03/2015 at 2:34am<b>brittaaany_93</b> - the 01/25/2015 at 1:13pm

VivaLaColdplay's FML badges

42

You see, sonny boy, moderating FMLs is a bit like running a marathon.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

See all of VivaLaColdplay's badges

VivaLaColdplay's favorite FMLs

Today, I was finally going to break down my social barrier by going out on a date with a nice guy I recently met on a dating site. Just at the start of the date, he asked me how old I was, and out of pure nervousness, I blurted out, "12!" I'm 24. FML

#21437546
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22528) - you deserved it (5408)

On 07/06/2015 at 7:02pm - love - by 12yearsoldapparently (woman) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I was having a dream about Chris Pratt. Instead of having a sexy dream that I would have enjoyed, I dreamt he was a supervisor at my work. He kept telling me how much I sucked. FML

#21437326
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25614) - you deserved it (2839)

On 07/06/2015 at 11:14am - intimacy - by BrittUnicorn - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my internet was so slow I couldn't even load an internet speed test to see how slow my internet was. FML

#21436232
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24880) - you deserved it (2507)

On 07/04/2015 at 5:30am - misc - by bbcgj - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, I got hit in the face by a ping-pong ball. It hit me so hard, it burst a big zit on impact. FML

#21436170
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23203) - you deserved it (2721)

On 07/04/2015 at 2:25am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Japan (Tokyo)

Today, a dog bit me on the bus. Instead of apologising, its owner said it was my fault because my hands "must smell of meat". I'm a vegetarian. FML

Today, my boss is on the phone with a Russian customer, who keeps saying, "Speak Russian please!" My boss asks me to translate, as he hired me for my knowledge of Russian. He says something, I translate in Russian, then the customer says, "Speak English please!" FML

#21434188
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23361) - you deserved it (1752)

On 06/30/2015 at 2:18am - work - by Claudine (woman) - Belgium (Liege)

Today, I was legitimately sick so I called in to work. Apparently, 4 other guys on my line called in too. My boss thought we planned it. Now we're all written up. FML

#21433907
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23115) - you deserved it (1261)

On 06/29/2015 at 4:29pm - work - by Justincredible69 (man) - United States

Today, I wore flip-flops to work. Just as I walked onto the elevator, they made a sound very close to that of a fart. About 10 seconds later, some asshole let out a silent but deadly fart, earning me a bunch of disgusted looks. FML

#21432890
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24826) - you deserved it (4185)

On 06/27/2015 at 3:58pm - work - by Anonymous (man) -

Today, I had to call a parent and tell them that their special needs daughter is pregnant. FML

#21430924
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32106) - you deserved it (1810)

On 06/23/2015 at 11:16pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, at my sister's wedding, she and I had a plan that she would purposely throw the bouquet to my girlfriend, then I would propose in front of everyone. When the bouquet landed in my girlfriend's lap, she screamed, "Ew, no way" and threw it to someone else. FML

#21430908
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30235) - you deserved it (3133)

On 06/23/2015 at 10:48pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, after all of the business cards for the car dealership that I work for were printed, the phone number was wrong, and the lady got so pissed about getting so many calls that she told them that they had won a free car. I had to tell dozens of ecstatic customers that they hadn't. FML

#21430788
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21757) - you deserved it (5142)

On 06/23/2015 at 6:37pm - work - by Luke - United States (Texas)

Today, my boss confided in me that when a gay person visits his house, he discreetly follows them around and cleans anything they touched and everywhere they sat with disinfectant wipes. I've worked for him for 7 years but he doesn't know I'm gay. FML

#21430685
114 comments

Today, my creepy 12-year-old neighbour stood on his trampoline, looked over my fence and started waving a large net around, chanting my dog's name. Now I'm scared to let my dog outside alone. FML

Today, after walking in on my roommate, I found out that pleasuring yourself with a shoe is a thing. It wouldn't have been so bad if the shoe hadn't been mine. FML

#21430531
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27598) - you deserved it (1714)

On 06/23/2015 at 4:07am - intimacy - by UkuleleTime - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I told my dad I was gonna to start working out again. He looked at me with honest confusion on his face and said, "You worked out before?" My mother started laughing. She was all the way upstairs. FML

#21430201
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21909) - you deserved it (2554)

On 06/22/2015 at 4:35pm - health - by LukesSkyWalker (woman) - United States



FML's blog

  • Feeling shitty? Write to Auntie Bernie!
  • It's a new summer, so here's a new feature. OK, that doesn't mean much, but you've got to start somewhere. The idea came from the fact that we get sent a lot of FMLs that touch us, in our heart of…

Friday 24 July 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: