VitalDistance

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Offline (the 09/24/2015 at 3:13am)

VitalDistance

22Fucked!

VitalDistanceVitalDistance
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 900
  • Number of comments : 66
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About VitalDistance : I'm bad at descriptions.

VitalDistance's page activity

Visits<b>yonana</b> - the 09/18/2016 at 12:59am<b>footinthemouth07</b> - the 09/07/2016 at 1:07am<b>sierra176</b> - the 07/13/2016 at 11:14pm<b>greenfishbait</b> - the 06/27/2016 at 3:55pm<b>CamBamShamDaMan</b> - the 06/03/2016 at 6:52am<b>MessedUpLife21</b> - the 02/25/2016 at 2:59pm<b>pmore04</b> - the 02/19/2016 at 3:55am<b>rdavis32</b> - the 01/29/2016 at 1:57am<b>illuminatzi</b> - the 09/22/2015 at 10:58pm<b>destineexX</b> - the 09/20/2015 at 12:49am<b>flyingmind</b> - the 09/18/2015 at 3:03am<b>Marelena20</b> - the 09/18/2015 at 12:36am<b>savannah12345677</b> - the 09/18/2015 at 12:14am<b>spicypie</b> - the 09/17/2015 at 10:43pm<b>Rfads5</b> - the 09/17/2015 at 10:33pm<b>jacjax</b> - the 09/17/2015 at 7:45pm<b>sulvan182</b> - the 09/16/2015 at 11:39am<b>shylie</b> - the 09/15/2015 at 10:33pm

Fucked!<b>ToxicPlant</b> - the 09/05/2015 at 6:14pm<b>coyotefox</b> - the 08/25/2015 at 10:51am<b>love_struck97</b> - the 08/23/2015 at 8:37pm<b>Michelle1121</b> - the 08/23/2015 at 6:07pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 08/23/2015 at 5:36pm<b>sillysadness</b> - the 06/30/2015 at 9:06pm<b>Cautocracy</b> - the 04/14/2015 at 9:45am<b>amazingolive</b> - the 04/11/2015 at 5:15am<b>patrickalamo</b> - the 04/10/2015 at 1:39am<b>yuno_gasai</b> - the 04/09/2015 at 4:00pm<b>royr7395</b> - the 04/08/2015 at 5:36am<b>psshhh</b> - the 04/08/2015 at 4:00am<b>sh4rpestl1ves</b> - the 04/08/2015 at 3:42am<b>burninsnow</b> - the 04/08/2015 at 3:38am<b>kitkatjoy_96</b> - the 04/06/2015 at 10:24am<b>oollooii</b> - the 04/06/2015 at 7:59am<b>AngelOf_Darkness</b> - the 04/05/2015 at 6:46pm<b>falloutttt</b> - the 04/05/2015 at 5:02am

VitalDistance's FML badges

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

Beginner

You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

See all of VitalDistance's badges

VitalDistance's favorite FMLs

Today, my family and I were driving and we passed a strip club called DB's Golden Banana. My 5-year-old sister asked what it was, so my dad said it was a place where people dance. Now my sister keeps telling people she wants to be a dancer at DB's Golden Banana. FML

by tycrist8 / 06/26/2015 at 7:32pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Kids

Today, the phone kept ringing so I picked it up and answered. When there was no response, it took a minute to realize that I was still in bed and talking to my hand. FML

by Sleepy / 05/31/2015 at 11:51am / United States (Armed Forces Europe, Middle East) / Miscellaneous

Today, I finally worked up enough courage to ask out the guy I've had a crush on for months. I texted him, and he thought I was Maddy from work, not Maddie his neighbor. Now he and the Maddy from his work are dating. FML

by :/ / 11/04/2013 at 5:27pm / United States (Georgia) / Love

Today, it was raining heavily so I wore my black poncho as I walked to work. On the way there I noticed an old and seemingly homeless man following me. I turned around to confront him. He picked up a stick and screamed "Expecto Patronum!" Apparently I look like a dementor. FML

by Anna L. / 03/24/2013 at 8:23pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had to choose between living with my over protective dad who only uses me for free childcare, or my pot smoking mom who always needs to borrow money. FML

by Anonymous / 12/27/2010 at 10:25pm / United States (North Carolina) / Money

Today, while I was working at McDonald's, a man and his wife ordered a Sundae. I gave the guy his sundae and realized I'd forgotten something. I said, "One second sir. Let me grab your nuts." I realized what I said when his wife gave me the death glare. FML

by stifledbyyou / 12/11/2010 at 7:06pm / United States (Louisiana) / Work

Today, I went to a crowded Walmart with a hot new girl I'm dating. It was raining and we had to park far from the entrance. As soon as we get out of my car, she starts sprinting to get out of the rain. I run to catch up and slip on a metal plate, and do a reverse superman onto my ass. FML

by Decker / 02/13/2010 at 8:04pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was down the pub with a mate and we got onto the subject of bar fights. I said I thought being glassed wouldn't actually hurt that much. My friend looks at me, calmly finishes his pint and then swiftly smashes his glass over my head. Turns out I was wrong. And we got kicked out. FML

by itstillhurts / 12/20/2009 at 11:23pm / United Kingdom (Bristol) / Miscellaneous

Today, I woke up to a stranger in my dorm room. He was naked and was peeing into my water bottle. He kept asking for Chris. I have no idea who Chris is. FML

by thewallrules / 12/05/2009 at 9:10am / United States (North Dakota) / Miscellaneous