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VibratingMeerkat's favorite FMLs
by TheLoneSoul / 09/13/2015 at 10:22am / France / Love
Today, I went downstairs early in the morning to watch a movie. As I walked into the living room and reached for the light switch, I heard my dad say "Knew you'd change your mind. Get them panties off." followed by the sound of a zipper being undone. I've never been so mortified in my life. FML
by Anonymous / 07/15/2015 at 12:29pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
Today, my mother got heartburn. She claimed she only gets heartburn when she is near a pregnant woman. She threatened to kick me out of the house if I didn't take a pregnancy test, despite there being no way I was pregnant. Turns out, I am pregnant, and my mother's ego has never been bigger. FML
by RecentCollegeGrad / 06/17/2015 at 2:09pm / Kids
Today, I tried to write a bad review for the fast-food place at which I work part-time. My username made me anonymous, but I forgot to change my profile picture. Now my manager and coworkers won't even speak to me. FML
by Freelman / 05/06/2015 at 10:34am / Ireland (Dublin) / Work
Today, I had to explain to my rabidly religious brother how two transvestites can buy fish at Petco while he's buying the same fish at the same Petco, and it doesn't equate to hitting on him. It's been two hours, and he's still sitting outside my door reading Bible verses and praying aggressively. FML
by mademoiselle meurtre / 04/12/2015 at 10:51pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
by fucked / 02/06/2015 at 3:06am / Singapore / Work
by bloody_hell / 01/14/2015 at 9:18pm / United States (Indiana) / Transportation
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- 1Today, my boyfriend said I didn't give him enough attention because of my busy work life. So… he… 2Today, I was making the daily commute to work when suddenly my mother calls me, crying that there's… 3Today, I asked a customer to send me via e-mail the image he wanted me to print. He said, "I don't…