Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

VasilisaUzhasnaj

Search for a member

VasilisaUzhasnaj
  • Town/Country : Kiev, Ukraine
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 6 January 1987 (27 years)
  • Number of visits : 7275
  • Number of comments : 733
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About VasilisaUzhasnaj : I'm a freelance artist and a writer. Most of my work is sadly here for now:
http://vasilisa-uzhasnaja.deviantart.com/

I work for Windy Press Publishing as a writer and editor.

My favorite games are Chrono Trigger and Silent Hill 1-3.
Feel free to message me.

[the rest of this profile has been blocked for your own protection]

VasilisaUzhasnaj's last visitors

umakemesicFedergirlWelshiteTrish01HeyHeyFishFilletxDochxmaddielovesniall

VasilisaUzhasnaj's FML badges

The Thumb returns

You have thumbed 5000 comments.

I’m your new creative director

You had to give your opinion on this new “piece” that the whole world is talking about.

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

See all of VasilisaUzhasnaj's badges

VasilisaUzhasnaj's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out that my son set up a telescope in the attic not so he could study astronomy like he told me, but so he could spy on the girl across the street. FML

#21070645
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32903) - you deserved it (5885)

On 02/24/2014 at 7:51pm - kids - by sonwhy - United States (Illinois)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. Devastated, I told my dad about it, hoping he'd help cheer me up. His advice was, "Just rub one out son, you'll feel better in no time." Thanks dad. FML

#21070515
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37131) - you deserved it (5028)

On 02/24/2014 at 5:22pm - intimacy - by Author (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my pregnant wife's parents called me at work, saying she'd been crying inconsolably and wouldn't say what was wrong. After pleading with my boss, I rushed home. Turns out there was an "ugly" sofa in a TV ad and she felt it was "picking on ugly sofas". FML

#21070396
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42465) - you deserved it (3769)

On 02/24/2014 at 2:36pm - misc - by fuckmeitsgettingworse - United Kingdom (Derby)

Today, I was driving along, and went to spit out my window. My window was up. This happened in heavy traffic. People saw. FML

#21070244
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17228) - you deserved it (44704)

On 02/24/2014 at 10:21am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I went to the self-checkout line at Walmart. When I tried to pay, the cash wouldn't go in, so I stood there trying to cram money into the thing that's supposed to take your money. What I didn't realize was that there was a sign up top that said: "No Cash. Cards Only." FML

#21070121
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15260) - you deserved it (35216)

On 02/24/2014 at 4:36am - misc - by I hate Walmart???? - United States (North Carolina)

Today, a guy from work that I barely know gave me sunflowers for my birthday. He told me, "You mentioned they were your favorite." I mentioned it to my family at home a few days ago. FML

#21069947
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42597) - you deserved it (3482)

On 02/23/2014 at 11:18pm - love - by You Are My Sunshine (woman) - United States (California)

Today, while walking barefoot through my house, I saw something shine on the floor across the hallway. Curious as to what it was, I rubbed my foot across the carpet to feel it. It wasn't until it was deeply lodged in my foot did I realize it was an open safety pin. FML

#21069793
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16162) - you deserved it (33829)

On 02/23/2014 at 9:22pm - health - by owmyfoot - United States (California)

Today, my sister finished a project about something she hates. Me. FML

#21069691
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30832) - you deserved it (3221)

On 02/23/2014 at 7:34pm - misc - by ninaaaa - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I was babysitting an 8-year-old boy. He was playing with play-doh and made a sculpture that resembled a penis. I tried to cover up and asked if it was an action figure. He looked at me like I was an idiot and said, "It's a DICK." FML

#21069587
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40626) - you deserved it (4822)

On 02/23/2014 at 5:27pm - kids - by hot sweet.... not (woman) - United Kingdom (Renfrewshire)

Today, I was shopping, when a man pointed at me and said to his friend, "Her. She's the one." He replied, "Yes, she'll do fine." I'm scared. FML

Today, I was walking home, when a car heading the other way hit a traffic cone. I must have been an asshole in a previous life, because the universe decided to make sure the cone flew into the side of my head. The bystanders were shocked for all of two seconds before laughing. FML

#21068594
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40076) - you deserved it (3727)

On 02/22/2014 at 4:02pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, after getting back from my interior design class, I told my husband that I learned the golden rule for home decor: "Have nothing in your houses that you do not know to be useful or believe to be beautiful." He looked at me dead in the eyes, and didn't say a word. FML

#21068258
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34721) - you deserved it (5824)

On 02/22/2014 at 6:01am - misc - by housedoctor (woman) - United Kingdom (Sheffield)

Today, I was at the mall with a couple of friends when we saw a couple of cute boys. I made eye contact with the cutest one. Flustered, I giggled, only to send a wad of snot flying out of my nose. FML

#21067978
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40428) - you deserved it (6941)

On 02/21/2014 at 9:47pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, while driving, I saw a dog run across the road. Feeling sorry for the pup on a cold, rainy night, I pulled my car over to pick it up. Once in, it started freaking out so I turned on the light. It was then that I realized I'd just put a wild coyote on my passenger seat. FML

Today, I got accused of trying to steal clothes because I was taking so long in the fitting rooms with only a couple of items. I got stuck in one of the shirts I was trying on. FML



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Bénédicte's Illustrated FML
  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

Thursday 10 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: