About VanOBrien : I'll give it to you straight, one way or another. Sometimes folks get a boot to the derriere; sometimes they get the gentle touch. As for me I'm adding wood carving, sculpting and design to my repertoire of being an amateur shutterbug and wordsmith. Should there be anything you might want to discuss with me, send me a message. I'm more than likely to reply.
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VanOBrien's favorite FMLs
by WickedRene / 08/01/2014 at 9:57pm / United States (New York) / Kids
by Ljiljka / 08/01/2014 at 10:37am / Serbia / Miscellaneous
Today, a customer threatened to smash my face in because I wouldn't give him a veteran's discount on a donut. He looked like he'd eaten his way out of fat camp, and it seemed the only action he'd seen was fighting his way into a lard factory. Still, he swung fast, and I now have a black eye. FML
by Anonymous / 07/24/2014 at 5:23pm / United States (Virginia) / Work
by ballbreath / 07/16/2014 at 11:44am / United States (California) / Animals
Today, while out grocery shopping with my mother, she asked me to hold a large bag of rice for her. Ten minutes later, I realized I'd been absent-mindedly stroking it the whole time, just like when I pick up my cat. FML
by Sheh / 07/16/2014 at 11:02am / Sweden / Animals
by smpenn89 / 07/16/2014 at 10:26am / United States (Ohio) / Work
Today, I returned to my teaching job at a local community college after surfing for the weekend. I'd got sunburned, one student immediately noticed and said to me, "Morning, Mr. Pinky!" Now they all do it. My students are assholes. I hate teaching. FML
by mister_pinky / 07/15/2014 at 6:04pm / United States (Oregon) / Work
Today, I went out to lunch with my girlfriend. I asked if she was going to finish her meal, hoping to steal a bite or two. She somehow took this as me calling her fat, threw her drink at me, and stormed off. I just wanted some steak. FML
by Jeff / 07/15/2014 at 4:37pm / United States / Love
by smh / 07/15/2014 at 4:11pm / United States / Health
by chloecamp / 07/14/2014 at 11:35pm / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous
by thedoc / 07/14/2014 at 11:25pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
Today, I went into my former workplace. While there, an ex-coworker told me that after I quit, they split my position into two separate jobs. When I worked there, my boss had told me to suck it up whenever I said there was too much work for just one person. FML
by Anonymous / 07/14/2014 at 7:52pm / United States (Washington) / Work
Today, while eating dinner with my boyfriend, I look up to see him staring at me, smiling. Hoping he wanted to say how lucky of a man he was who loved me deeply, I asked him what he was thinking. He replied, "You can't smell that yet? It was a noxious one." FML
by KaiyaOtaku1 / 07/14/2014 at 7:48pm / United States (Washington) / Love
Today, I left the house I'm staying at, not knowing that thunderstorms were forecast. I came back from work to find dog shit splattered all over the kitchen. Apparently the dogs I'm watching don't like thunder. FML
by Hiimhaileypotter / 07/14/2014 at 6:48pm / United States (Virginia) / Animals
by cyzn / 07/14/2014 at 1:59pm / Canada (Quebec) / Health
- 1Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 2Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say… 3Today, it's been 2 weeks since I ordered a printer so I could print schoolwork, that way I don't…