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VampObsessed

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VampObsessed
  • Town/Country : Durand, United States
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 23 March 1990 (24 years)
  • Number of visits : 543
  • Number of comments : 38
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 64 posted

About VampObsessed : *In love with Chuck Norris; the man is God. *My book, The Eternal War, is available online at Barnes & Noble and Amazon. facebook.com/theeternalwar. *Exerciseaholic! Every day; twice a day! *If you feel like talking give me a shout either on here or Twitter. @ashleytialong

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VampObsessed's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out that the plant in my kitchen that I have been watering for almost 2 years is fake. FML

#6453438
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8317) - you deserved it (45242)

On 11/25/2009 at 9:41pm - misc - by IlikeGreenPlants (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I walked into the kitchen and saw a note my roomate posted. As I got close to read it I was attacked by a very pissed off cat. The note said "Left window open last night, stray cat got in. Watch out he isn't friendly." FML

#4977727
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38542) - you deserved it (2622)

On 09/01/2009 at 2:51pm - animals - by Catscratch (man) - United States (California)

Today, my mom drove me to football practice. On the way she told me that she thought I was gay and that my friend was my lover. After 15 agonizing minutes of this, we get to my practice only to be greeted by my shirtless friend wearing a pink bandana saying "Man, you hit me hard last night." FML

#4421825
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (69218) - you deserved it (5944)

On 08/10/2009 at 3:10am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I had a horribly realistic dream where I was being robbed and had to swallow my wedding ring to save it. After waking up, I realized my wedding ring is in fact gone. The doctor assures me that I will have it back in a day or two. FML

#2896238
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47066) - you deserved it (3309)

On 06/14/2009 at 9:23pm - misc - by Anonymous - Japan (Okinawa)

Today, I was at the mall with my mom. She was pissing me off, so I started screaming at her and causing a scene. I ended up falling all the way down the up escalator. Everyone saw and people clapped. FML

#2804463
815 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27058) - you deserved it (278597)

On 06/11/2009 at 3:49pm - misc - by ouchers (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I thought I would make my first trip to the beach. While in the water, I was stung by a jellyfish. My friend had to pee on me. I went back into the water to wash the pee off and got stung by another jellyfish. FML

#2464831
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55526) - you deserved it (7411)

On 05/31/2009 at 1:38pm - misc - by Heather (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my boyfriend and I went to a Taylor Swift concert. At the concert they put up a sign that said "Scream if you love country boys." My boyfriend took one look at it and started screaming. FML

#1971558
215 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50993) - you deserved it (10427)

On 05/16/2009 at 3:52am - love - by TayTay (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I awoke to the sound of my dad knocking on my dorm room door for a surprise visit. He's barely outside the door and I pull the door open and say hey, when my roommate strips naked pulls the door open, kisses me on the cheek, says in an uber-gay voice, "Thanks for last night", and leaves. FML

#527227
515 comments

I agree, your life sucks (226993) - you deserved it (29227)

On 03/22/2009 at 6:38am - intimacy - by konens_dick (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I went out for coffee with a guy I really like. We met up at the local café, and decided to sit at a counter in front of the window. We talked and flirted for a while. Then he kissed me, and while he was kissing me someone banged on the window. It was my parents. They didn't know I'm gay. FML

#520285
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (86967) - you deserved it (31863)

On 03/21/2009 at 10:38pm - love - by clementine_k (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my girlfriend was giving me head while I was watching Star Trek and I accidentally called her Spock. FML

#279733
513 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48807) - you deserved it (299913)

On 03/12/2009 at 5:30am - intimacy - by Noname (man) - New Zealand (Canterbury)



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

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  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

Thursday 10 April 2014

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