VampObsessed

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VampObsessed

6Fucked!

VampObsessedVampObsessed
  • Town/Country : San Diego, United States
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 23 March 1990 (26 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1567
  • Number of comments : 45
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 65 posted

About VampObsessed : *In love with Chuck Norris; the man is God. *My book, The Eternal War, is available online at Barnes & Noble and Amazon. facebook.com/theeternalwar. *Exerciseaholic! Every day; twice a day! *If you feel like talking give me a shout either on here or Twitter. @ashleytialong

I do have a confirmed FML though it doesn't show on my profile oddly. If you search gnome it's the third one down. Yes, my father still tortures me with gnomes.

VampObsessed's page activity

Visits<b>Tattooed_momster</b> - the 11/22/2016 at 5:33pm<b>crazy_bananas</b> - the 11/16/2016 at 3:22pm<b>footinthemouth07</b> - the 10/26/2016 at 2:16am<b>champ907</b> - the 09/02/2016 at 6:35pm<b>Gwenevier</b> - the 08/27/2016 at 1:58pm<b>thatonekidalex33</b> - the 08/26/2016 at 8:05am<b>liloh</b> - the 08/23/2016 at 7:43pm<b>Aviereus</b> - the 08/23/2016 at 10:31am<b>Justkidding100</b> - the 08/17/2016 at 6:12pm<b>TheDude992</b> - the 08/05/2016 at 9:43am<b>AlexArtorias</b> - the 08/05/2016 at 7:21am<b>OlRed</b> - the 08/05/2016 at 6:20am<b>TheDarkLight</b> - the 08/01/2016 at 5:48pm<b>SleepyPharma</b> - the 07/23/2016 at 3:15am<b>iDontReallyCare2</b> - the 07/21/2016 at 10:26am<b>jbuckets_404</b> - the 07/19/2016 at 10:21am<b>Sweet_Haruka</b> - the 07/15/2016 at 3:32pm<b>datshistylizard1</b> - the 07/09/2016 at 4:33pm

Fucked!<b>Tattooed_momster</b> - the 11/22/2016 at 11:34pm<b>crazy_bananas</b> - the 11/16/2016 at 9:22pm<b>OlRed</b> - the 08/05/2016 at 12:25pm<b>jbuckets_404</b> - the 07/19/2016 at 4:23pm<b>eski2015</b> - the 08/02/2015 at 5:28am<b>D_Word_Head</b> - the 05/29/2015 at 8:28am

VampObsessed's FML badges

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

See all of VampObsessed's badges

VampObsessed's favorite FMLs

Today, I played Taboo with my boyfriend and my conservative family. It was my boyfriend's turn and his word was "cherry". His only clue to me was, "I popped your..." He was the only one who found it funny. FML

by Anonymous / 12/04/2011 at 12:44am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I had a dream that I was trying to pop a balloon. Nothing I did was working, so I put it between my knees and tried to pop it that way. Immediately, I woke up to the sound of frantic hissing and meowing. As it turns out, I was trying to pop the cat. FML

by furryballoon / 11/21/2011 at 11:46pm / United States (Washington) / Animals

Today, I got home late to find my dad outside mowing the lawn in the dark. I told him the neighbors were going to think he lost his marbles for mowing it at that time. He then informed me he wasn't mowing it, he was vacuuming it. FML

by Anonymous / 11/13/2011 at 3:40am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found a note on my door that said "I masturbate to your pictures on Facebook." Someone else wrote "like" at the bottom. FML

by Anonymous / 11/12/2011 at 12:34am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I found a note on my door that said "I masturbate to your pictures on Facebook." Someone else wrote "like" at the bottom. FML

by Anonymous / 11/12/2011 at 12:34am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, my buddy told me he was going to get an HIV test at the health department. Without thinking, I told him to "think positive". FML

by devinchi / 11/11/2011 at 3:42am / United States / Health

Today, my roommate got completely wasted. He was so drunk he thought the fridge was talking. He decided to make it stop by unplugging it. Most of our food is basically ruined now. FML

Today, my mom was convinced that the lawn gnomes we bought from Wal-Mart were secretly conspiring to kill us. FML

by Stevie / 08/16/2011 at 2:52am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had to bail my dad out of jail, for beating up my boyfriend, for sleeping with my mom. FML

by whyme102008 / 07/13/2011 at 2:32am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, I took a picture of myself and put it on Facebook. After I did so, I realized that in the background, you can see my crush's Facebook page up on my laptop. He tagged himself. FML

by verasam01 / 02/24/2011 at 7:37pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Animals

Today, I came home to find my 25 year old boyfriend laughing hysterically at his laptop while he made Microsoft Sam say "feces", "penis", and "diarrhea". FML

by Anonymous / 12/10/2010 at 2:17am / United States (California) / Love

Today, my wife was complaining she always has to put up the Christmas tree. So this year while she was out shopping, I decided to put it up. I set it too close to the fireplace and it caught fire. I'm a firefighter. FML

Today, I sent a picture to my girlfriend of my erect penis with a quote saying "It's waiting for you." She responded with a picture of her left hand showing her left ring finger with a quote saying "It's waiting for you too." FML

by Anonymous / 12/07/2010 at 1:32pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend saying, "I shall be the prince, and you shall be the princess," to his hamster. Once he saw me, he quickly turned to the hamster and said, "I have to go. The dragon is here." FML

by Cheese4men / 05/14/2010 at 7:28pm / Canada (Alberta) / Love

Today, I found out my little sister was a stripper. At the same time, she found out that when I said I was having a "quiet birthday with some friends," what I really meant was "hiring a stripper to jump out of a cake." FML

by Jon / 01/18/2010 at 3:26pm / United States (Oregon) / Miscellaneous