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VampObsessed

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VampObsessed
  • Town/Country : Durand, United States
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 23 March 1990 (24 years)
  • Number of visits : 545
  • Number of comments : 38
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 64 posted

About VampObsessed : *In love with Chuck Norris; the man is God. *My book, The Eternal War, is available online at Barnes & Noble and Amazon. facebook.com/theeternalwar. *Exerciseaholic! Every day; twice a day! *If you feel like talking give me a shout either on here or Twitter. @ashleytialong

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VampObsessed's favorite FMLs

Today, I found a note on my door that said "I masturbate to your pictures on Facebook." Someone else wrote "like" at the bottom. FML

#18224618
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37240) - you deserved it (7524)

On 11/12/2011 at 12:34am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I found a note on my door that said "I masturbate to your pictures on Facebook." Someone else wrote "like" at the bottom. FML

#18224618
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37240) - you deserved it (7524)

On 11/12/2011 at 12:34am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my buddy told me he was going to get an HIV test at the health department. Without thinking, I told him to "think positive". FML

#18216431
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24584) - you deserved it (6828)

On 11/11/2011 at 3:42am - health - by devinchi (man) - United States

Today, my roommate got completely wasted. He was so drunk he thought the fridge was talking. He decided to make it stop by unplugging it. Most of our food is basically ruined now. FML

Today, my mom was convinced that the lawn gnomes we bought from Wal-Mart were secretly conspiring to kill us. FML

#17487537
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25452) - you deserved it (3143)

On 08/16/2011 at 2:52am - misc - by Stevie - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I had to bail my dad out of jail, for beating up my boyfriend, for sleeping with my mom. FML

#17089969
502 comments

I agree, your life sucks (117034) - you deserved it (5933)

On 07/13/2011 at 2:32am - intimacy - by whyme102008 - United States (Texas)

Today, I took a picture of myself and put it on Facebook. After I did so, I realized that in the background, you can see my crush's Facebook page up on my laptop. He tagged himself. FML

#15105515
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14503) - you deserved it (43066)

On 02/24/2011 at 7:37pm - misc - by verasam01 (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I came home to find my 25 year old boyfriend laughing hysterically at his laptop while he made Microsoft Sam say "feces", "penis", and "diarrhea". FML

#14150271
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22830) - you deserved it (8074)

On 12/10/2010 at 2:17am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my wife was complaining she always has to put up the Christmas tree. So this year while she was out shopping, I decided to put it up. I set it too close to the fireplace and it caught fire. I'm a firefighter. FML

#14149224
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11075) - you deserved it (35200)

On 12/10/2010 at 12:11am - misc - by 479firefighter -

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I sent a picture to my girlfriend of my erect penis with a quote saying "It's waiting for you." She responded with a picture of her left hand showing her left ring finger with a quote saying "It's waiting for you too." FML

#14120118
222 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11581) - you deserved it (79448)

On 12/07/2010 at 1:32pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out my little sister was a stripper. At the same time, she found out that when I said I was having a "quiet birthday with some friends," what I really meant was "hiring a stripper to jump out of a cake." FML

#7420693
282 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46047) - you deserved it (7424)

On 01/18/2010 at 3:26pm - misc - by Jon (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I had one more gift to buy: a copy of Fight Club. I asked a person working at Best Buy if they had any in stock. The man wouldn't sell me the last copy because I had broken the first two rules. FML

#6923345
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21518) - you deserved it (9510)

On 12/24/2009 at 3:10pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, it was the last day of finals. After sleeping less than three hours in the last two days, I got in the car to go to school. For a second, I thought my steering wheel, the gas pedal, and brake pedal were all missing. That's when I realized I was sitting in the back seat. FML

#6692026
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25407) - you deserved it (11332)

On 12/10/2009 at 8:08am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, while on the phone with a client at work, I was planning on saying either "Yeah." or "Uh-huh." Without thinking, I combined the two and ended up saying "Yee-hah," like a cowboy. FML

#6550671
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10456) - you deserved it (28230)

On 12/01/2009 at 12:25pm - work - by Jen (woman) - United States (Virginia)



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