VampObsessed

Search for a member

Offline (the 09/19/2016 at 8:21am)

VampObsessed

4Fucked!

VampObsessedVampObsessed
  • Town/Country : San Diego, United States
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 23 March 1990 (26 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1485
  • Number of comments : 43
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 65 posted

About VampObsessed : *In love with Chuck Norris; the man is God. *My book, The Eternal War, is available online at Barnes & Noble and Amazon. facebook.com/theeternalwar. *Exerciseaholic! Every day; twice a day! *If you feel like talking give me a shout either on here or Twitter. @ashleytialong

I do have a confirmed FML though it doesn't show on my profile oddly. If you search gnome it's the third one down. Yes, my father still tortures me with gnomes.

VampObsessed's page activity

Visits<b>champ907</b> - the 09/02/2016 at 6:35pm<b>hello2an</b> - the 08/28/2016 at 8:12pm<b>Gwenevier</b> - the 08/27/2016 at 1:58pm<b>thatonekidalex33</b> - the 08/26/2016 at 8:05am<b>liloh</b> - the 08/23/2016 at 7:43pm<b>Aviereus</b> - the 08/23/2016 at 10:31am<b>Justkidding100</b> - the 08/17/2016 at 6:12pm<b>crazy_bananas</b> - the 08/16/2016 at 10:11pm<b>TheDude992</b> - the 08/05/2016 at 9:43am<b>AlexArtorias</b> - the 08/05/2016 at 7:21am<b>OlRed</b> - the 08/05/2016 at 6:20am<b>TheDarkLight</b> - the 08/01/2016 at 5:48pm<b>SleepyPharma</b> - the 07/23/2016 at 3:15am<b>iDontReallyCare2</b> - the 07/21/2016 at 10:26am<b>jbuckets_404</b> - the 07/19/2016 at 10:21am<b>Sweet_Haruka</b> - the 07/15/2016 at 3:32pm<b>datshistylizard1</b> - the 07/09/2016 at 4:33pm<b>Ben_Dover831</b> - the 06/18/2016 at 6:18am

Fucked!<b>OlRed</b> - the 08/05/2016 at 12:25pm<b>jbuckets_404</b> - the 07/19/2016 at 4:23pm<b>eski2015</b> - the 08/02/2015 at 5:28am<b>D_Word_Head</b> - the 05/29/2015 at 8:28am

VampObsessed's FML badges

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

See all of VampObsessed's badges

VampObsessed's favorite FMLs

Today, I finished writing my Masters thesis. It's 25,000 words long. I showed it to my tutor, who told me it was completely wrong and that I have to start again from scratch. It's due in two weeks. FML

by n3rdzgotskillz / 09/06/2016 at 10:45pm / United Kingdom (Birmingham) / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my laziness reached an all-time high. I had a dream that I was at school and had spilled all the contents of my backpack onto the floor. I then purposely shook myself out of my sleep to avoid cleaning up the mess in my dream. FML

by Anonymous / 06/16/2014 at 12:33pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, I took an extra xanax to help with my anxiety, then went to sleep. I guess it was probably too much, because I woke up a few hours later, freaking out and panicking because I was convinced I was a bee trapped in a human body. FML

by beemove / 12/28/2013 at 4:19pm / United States (Washington) / Health

Today, I watched a little girl laugh while giving bread to some pigeons at a bus stop. A bus then arrived. All the pigeons moved out of the away, except one. Its head got crushed by a wheel, and some blood splattered onto the little girl's shoes, who then screamed. With laughter. FML

by B_and_W / 11/21/2013 at 6:35am / France / Kids

Today, I sprayed down some ants in my house. In the sea of ant corpses was a single living ant seemingly cradling a dead one in its arms. I'm convinced I just became the villain in an epic tragedy. Now I have to live with my ant problem because I can't bear to tear another family apart. FML

by Blood on my hands / 08/07/2013 at 1:40am / United States / Animals

Today, I was convinced by my friends to watch an episode of the American TV show "Here Comes Honey Boo Boo". They said it was bad, but I didn't anticipate having a full-blown panic attack ten minutes into it. FML

by WTF, America? / 08/03/2013 at 5:57pm / Sweden / Health

Today, I took an afternoon nap, and when I woke up, it was pitch black outside. Still groggy, I went downstairs, only to see my dad sporting a shocked expression and a suspiciously powder-white beard. He actually almost convinced me that I'd just woken up from a five year coma. FML

by Anonymous / 02/17/2013 at 12:56am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I learned that my big, tough, strong dog is terrified of spiders when he jumped, knocked over a table and then peed on the spider to drown it. FML

by DogLover / 02/06/2013 at 8:59am / United States (New York) / Animals

Today, my husband started a conversation with, "In Pokémon" and ended the same conversation with "and that's why we should divorce." FML

by PokeWife / 02/06/2013 at 8:38am / United States (Nebraska) / Love

Today, my loyalty and regularity at my local pizza place were noticed. The delivery guy, when bringing yet another order, asked me if the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles were living with me. FML

by heallven / 01/31/2013 at 7:26am / Miscellaneous

Today, I had to explain to my friend that the world did not used to be black and white. It was just the pictures that were. She still doesn't believe me. She's eighteen. FML

by CierraJordan / 03/14/2012 at 7:31am / United States (Utah) / Miscellaneous

Today, I drove into a cluster of dustbins thanks to my dozy cat who'd managed to get into my car, fall asleep, and wake up while I was driving to work. I lost control when I was startled by him staring at me in the rear-view mirror. FML

by Anonymous / 01/18/2012 at 6:30am / Australia / Transportation

Today, I accidentally moaned my own name during sex. FML

by Anonymous / 01/04/2012 at 1:43am / United States / Intimacy

Today, some friends and I were pulled over on our way back from a party. We'd had a few drinks, so we tried to play it cool just in case we were over the limit. The cop didn't seem to want to breathalyze us, until my really high friend in the back seat said, "These are not the droids you are looking for." FML

by Notadrinkanddriveidiot / 12/07/2011 at 9:46am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I played Taboo with my boyfriend and my conservative family. It was my boyfriend's turn and his word was "cherry". His only clue to me was, "I popped your..." He was the only one who found it funny. FML

by Anonymous / 12/04/2011 at 12:44am / United States (California) / Intimacy