About ValVee92 : 💕✌🏼
ValVee92's FML badges
Who’s the fairest of them all?
This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.
An insomniac or a creature of the dark
You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.
You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
ValVee92's favorite FMLs
Today, my girlfriend and I were playfully arguing about who loved the other more. After about a minute of this, my girlfriend walked over and kicked me in the crotch as hard as she could. She then said, "There, now you don't love me as much. I win." FML
by ouch / 03/28/2011 at 11:33pm / United States (Arizona) / Love
by dickface / 03/28/2011 at 4:13pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy
Today, I had a seizure. My dad responded by saying it always happens with my disease. I never have had a disease. Now I have to wait for my dad to stop yelling at my mom about not telling me, so I can ask what I have in the first place. FML
by aldfgadfklbg / 03/13/2011 at 7:08pm / United States (California) / Health
Today, I found out that the candy bracelet my sister gave me a few days ago was actually a candy cock ring she'd used on her boyfriend just a few hours prior. Apparently, she didn't like the taste. I however, did. FML
by Anonymous / 02/14/2011 at 12:15pm / Belgium (Oost-Vlaanderen) / Intimacy
by inosehowthatgotthere / 02/09/2011 at 8:12pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous
Today, I decided to surprise my boyfriend by creating an account on Runescape; his favorite game. After finding him in-game, I started talking to him, not revealing who I was. After a while, I asked him if he had a girlfriend. He promptly said no and asked me for nude pics. FML
by Samyett / 02/09/2011 at 2:22pm / United States / Love
Today, I was chosen by my coworkers to explain to my elderly boss that ''tossing the salad'' isn't another expression for saying ''brainstorming''. She didn't believe me. Guess we will all keep ''tossing the salad'' for new ideas each afternoon. FML
by welly223 / 01/20/2011 at 1:01am / Canada (Quebec) / Intimacy
Today, in dance class, the instructor asked me to demonstrate the splits to the group. I slid down, my legs opening wider as I descended. I then loudly farted for the full 5 seconds it took to reach the ground. FML
by SkinsCastSelection / 01/17/2011 at 11:44am / Switzerland / Health
by SkinsCastSelection / 01/17/2011 at 1:24am / France / Love
by Anonymous / 01/15/2011 at 9:38am / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous
Today, I sat in the cafeteria at work and saw a girl, which is a rare sight at my workplace, from the back with a beautifully long ponytail. After a full hour of building up courage to perhaps say hi to her, she turned around. It was a 50-year-old man. FML
by lonelyengineer / 12/19/2010 at 5:28am / Germany (Niedersachsen) / Love
by parentfail / 12/11/2010 at 9:44am / United Kingdom / Kids
by miiiiilk / 12/05/2010 at 6:12am / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, my doctor told me to buy some KY Jelly and a dildo to help "loosen me up" so sex isn't so painful. I haven't been able to have sex for 6 months because it hurts so badly, and now my doctor has basically told me to go fuck myself. FML
by painfulintercourse / 11/22/2010 at 2:36pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy
- 1Today, I took a test. I got up to turn it in, and accidentally bumped into another student. We both… 2Today, I tried to fire the worst worker I've ever had over the phone because he never shows up for… 3Today, my energetic 10-month-old decided to stay up four hours past bedtime. After I FINALLY got…