About ValVee92 : 💕✌🏼
ValVee92's FML badges
Who’s the fairest of them all?
This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.
An insomniac or a creature of the dark
You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.
You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
ValVee92's favorite FMLs
Today, my cousin is coming home after his honeymoon. His gift to his new wife was a puppy, which I said I would take care of while they went away. I sneezed last week and scared the puppy. She ran off. This was ten days ago, and I still haven't found the dog. FML
by whymegirl / 07/22/2012 at 12:24am / United States (Massachusetts) / Animals
Today, I found my husband's journal, and along with it the real reason he took so long to show up to our wedding rehearsals last year. According to the journal, it was because he was too busy wooing a married mother of five and sticking his "slut-banger all up in that fat booty." FML
by divorce? i think so / 07/20/2012 at 10:12pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
Today, I got into a debate with my boyfriend over whether or not oral sex was considered sex. I stood firm that it was not. Apparently, he took this as permission, as later that night I walked in on him not having sex with my sister. FML
by oops / 07/15/2012 at 1:34am / United States / Intimacy
Today, my wife, who is four months pregnant, burst into tears while thinking about the armchair in our living room that we never use. According to her, we're stopping it from living out its destiny as an armchair. FML
by FauteuilEver Alone / 07/05/2012 at 4:11am / France / Miscellaneous
Today, I confronted my daughter about the various drug-associated items I found in her room. She then confronted me about going in her room and invading her privacy, to the point where I forgot the main issue and apologised to her. I just got outsmarted by a teenage pothead. FML
by apparantlyStupid / 06/27/2012 at 7:28pm / Canada (Alberta) / Kids
Today, I told my friend over the phone that I had to go drop the kids off at the pool. She told me that she didn't need to know about my bathroom habits and hung up on me. I really had to take my children to the local swimming pool for swim lessons. FML
by Anonymous / 06/25/2012 at 11:53am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous
by turnedoff / 06/17/2012 at 9:00pm / United States / Intimacy
by Apissedoffguy / 06/03/2012 at 11:20am / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 06/02/2012 at 11:34am / United States (Ohio) / Health
by Anonymous / 03/27/2012 at 11:54am / Australia (Western Australia) / Work
by Anonymous / 03/21/2012 at 12:50am / Canada / Health
Today, while I was cuddling with my girlfriend, she looked at me and leaned in. Thinking she was going to kiss me, I leaned too. Just as we were about to kiss, she screamed "COW KISSES" and somehow managed to lick my eyeball. FML
by Brian / 03/17/2012 at 10:32pm / United States (Washington) / Love
by Sharibabi65 / 03/07/2012 at 1:16am / United States / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 02/23/2012 at 8:49am / United States / Work
- Today, I had a sex dream. I woke up, sleepily got myself off and fell right asleep. it wasn't until… Today, I found my sister talking to her dolls. This would be fine if she wasn't 24, I have to live… Today, after finally learning to love my nose, my aunt gave me a list of plastic surgeons to check…
- Today, on my way home to Bordeaux after a weekend in Paris, I had the pleasure of being sat next to… Today, after shaking my boss's hand, I noticed that he had a piece of toilet paper stuck to one of… Today, I couldn't get into my car. I got mad at the lock, and my key broken inside it. It wasn't my…