Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

UsernameTaken14

Offline (the 03/25/2015 at 5:08pm) | Search for a member

UsernameTaken14

5Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 6 August 1998 (16 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1242
  • Number of comments : 83
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 22 posted

About UsernameTaken14 : Lame sarcastic gay 16 year old living in the middle of nowhere

UsernameTaken14's page activity

Visits<b>HarleyBlues</b> - the 03/18/2015 at 11:44am<b>pubeboy</b> - the 03/18/2015 at 11:43am<b>lastunusedname</b> - the 03/14/2015 at 4:38am<b>I_Am_Lamp_</b> - the 03/13/2015 at 1:31am<b>Dreeves66</b> - the 03/12/2015 at 4:09pm<b>Bazinga_1821</b> - the 03/12/2015 at 4:01pm<b>missa8604</b> - the 03/12/2015 at 1:52pm<b>CandienInEurope</b> - the 03/12/2015 at 11:51am<b>iPixiee</b> - the 03/09/2015 at 4:49pm<b>Emi1y</b> - the 03/09/2015 at 4:08am<b>Stripes12345</b> - the 03/07/2015 at 3:55pm<b>bruhandbutercup</b> - the 03/04/2015 at 11:57pm<b>gis0392</b> - the 02/12/2015 at 11:08pm<b>yeti37</b> - the 02/11/2015 at 9:19pm<b>mariooo0</b> - the 01/27/2015 at 12:48am<b>thederpylemon</b> - the 01/23/2015 at 6:39pm<b>awesomepantTamia</b> - the 01/23/2015 at 4:15pm<b>_Ciel_</b> - the 01/22/2015 at 6:26pm

Liked!<b>I_Am_Lamp_</b> - the 03/13/2015 at 6:31am<b>Bazinga_1821</b> - the 03/12/2015 at 9:01pm<b>iPixiee</b> - the 03/09/2015 at 9:50pm<b>crazykil02</b> - the 01/20/2015 at 9:47pm<b>Emi1y</b> - the 01/20/2015 at 7:25pm

UsernameTaken14's FML badges

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

See all of UsernameTaken14's badges

UsernameTaken14's favorite FMLs

Today, I locked myself out and had to enter my house via the back door. Thinking I was an intruder, my 7-year-old daughter slammed a metal rake into the back of my head. Nice to know she can take care of herself. FML

#21087156
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47432) - you deserved it (8839)

On 03/15/2014 at 8:21am - kids - by emergencyroom (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I met my mom's new business partner for the first time. I shook his hand, and introduced myself as "Lisa's daughter". I'm a guy. FML

#21085066
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34550) - you deserved it (11783)

On 03/12/2014 at 6:23pm - work - by CurtisWogan (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my mum asked me how the guinea pig was doing. We don't have a guinea pig. Turns out she had volunteered me to look after the next door neighbor's guinea pig when they were away and 'forgot' to tell me. They have been gone two weeks. FML

#21071021
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49882) - you deserved it (3565)

On 02/25/2014 at 4:59am - animals - by HelpMe (man) - United Kingdom (Scottish Borders, The)

Today, I found out that my son set up a telescope in the attic not so he could study astronomy like he told me, but so he could spy on the girl across the street. FML

#21070645
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34923) - you deserved it (6589)

On 02/24/2014 at 7:51pm - kids - by sonwhy - United States (Illinois)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. Devastated, I told my dad about it, hoping he'd help cheer me up. His advice was, "Just rub one out son, you'll feel better in no time." Thanks dad. FML

#21070515
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44068) - you deserved it (6232)

On 02/24/2014 at 5:22pm - intimacy - by Author (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my pregnant wife's parents called me at work, saying she'd been crying inconsolably and wouldn't say what was wrong. After pleading with my boss, I rushed home. Turns out there was an "ugly" sofa in a TV ad and she felt it was "picking on ugly sofas". FML

#21070396
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45827) - you deserved it (4322)

On 02/24/2014 at 2:36pm - misc - by fuckmeitsgettingworse - United Kingdom (Derby)

Today, a guy from work that I barely know gave me sunflowers for my birthday. He told me, "You mentioned they were your favorite." I mentioned it to my family at home a few days ago. FML

#21069947
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46901) - you deserved it (4201)

On 02/23/2014 at 11:18pm - love - by You Are My Sunshine (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was walking a dog at the animal hospital where I work when it pooped out a rag-like object. I told the doctor, who told me to clean it off to see what it was. It was a rainbow-colored thong. We have to give it back to the owner when they pick their dog up. FML

#21069925
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36780) - you deserved it (2914)

On 02/23/2014 at 11:01pm - animals - by crap - United States (Nevada)

Today, I was babysitting an 8-year-old boy. He was playing with play-doh and made a sculpture that resembled a penis. I tried to cover up and asked if it was an action figure. He looked at me like I was an idiot and said, "It's a DICK." FML

#21069587
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44092) - you deserved it (5599)

On 02/23/2014 at 5:27pm - kids - by hot sweet.... not (woman) - United Kingdom (Renfrewshire)

Today, I've been forced to start packing to go on a vacation with my parents, because they say I've been studying too hard and need a break. I've hardly studied at all and was planning on making up for it all in the time I had left before finals. I'm screwed. FML

#21069416
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21208) - you deserved it (37954)

On 02/23/2014 at 2:00pm - misc - by goodbye cruel world (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my boyfriend wanted to take our relationship to the next level. I assumed since we live together that he meant marriage. I was wrong; the next level is me jacking him off with my feet. FML

#21069326
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50830) - you deserved it (6704)

On 02/23/2014 at 12:29pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I ran into my favorite teacher from high school, the one that really inspired me to become one myself. I told her that I'm in my last year of college preparing to become a teacher, to which she replied, "Wow, they really are letting anyone have a crack at being a teacher these days." FML

#21067542
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43490) - you deserved it (4546)

On 02/21/2014 at 11:32am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was cleaning the bathrooms at work. An older gentlemen came in and needed to use it. He said to me "Oh no, PLEASE stay, just don't look." I don't get paid enough for this. FML

#21065584
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37951) - you deserved it (3556)

On 02/19/2014 at 4:09pm - work - by sarad206 (woman) - United States

Today, while getting intimate with my boyfriend, he started sucking on my breast. He ended up popping a pimple on it into his mouth. He threw up and that, as they say, was the end of that. FML

#21064527
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48370) - you deserved it (17858)

On 02/18/2014 at 2:49pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Virgin Islands, U.S.

Today, I got into a slight spot of shit with my new boss over his speech. Apparently he was not actually impersonating Sylvester the Cat, and he just has a speech impediment. When I jokingly said "sufferin' succotash" to him, he wasn't pleased at all. FML

#21056453
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20595) - you deserved it (38709)

On 02/10/2014 at 5:37pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom



Sophie Marie's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • OK jkjk it was FMLS April Fools
  •   Yah its know over, ive stoppd wrotting… Sorry, I'll try again. There, it's over, I can stop typing TXT language with my forehead. Yes, you probably cottened on that it was our little…

Monday 30 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: