UsernameHere234

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Offline (the 01/13/2015 at 4:06am)

UsernameHere234

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 15 July 1993 (22 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1009
  • Number of comments : 189
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About UsernameHere234 : A university student trying to transfer from my Zoology major into veterinary medicine (second application). I have no photo up because what I wanted to put up I realized not everyone likes the sights of

UsernameHere234's page activity

Visits<b>Feklfekl2222</b> - the 12/10/2015 at 11:49am<b>Nicole0930</b> - the 05/13/2015 at 9:14pm<b>jennlody</b> - the 05/12/2015 at 1:49pm<b>rocker_chick23</b> - the 08/21/2014 at 9:51pm<b>dabears1011234</b> - the 08/07/2014 at 12:23pm<b>sofaqueen_</b> - the 07/04/2014 at 6:28pm<b>VivaLaColdplay</b> - the 04/11/2014 at 3:05am<b>TheRavynFire</b> - the 04/02/2014 at 4:52am<b>SummonerMaenad</b> - the 03/13/2014 at 3:06am<b>NicetiesofLife</b> - the 01/13/2014 at 11:37am<b>nissanleaf</b> - the 12/19/2013 at 10:54pm<b>dimos4ever</b> - the 10/27/2013 at 11:08am<b>EllaJSwiftie</b> - the 10/25/2013 at 5:17am<b>acdgal</b> - the 09/06/2013 at 12:47am<b>Dynosaur_dollie</b> - the 09/05/2013 at 9:21am<b>neeni88</b> - the 09/05/2013 at 4:49am<b>Cruel2BKind</b> - the 09/05/2013 at 4:04am<b>why_teh_hell</b> - the 09/03/2013 at 11:35pm

UsernameHere234's FML badges

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UsernameHere234's favorite FMLs

Today, my elderly neighbor along with our community church's priest came to my house and demanded to "give them the girl". The girl is my 3-year-old daughter, who has natural born red irises and is photo-sensitive. And yes, we are also Romanian. FML

by OakStake / 12/08/2013 at 5:07pm / United States (New York) / Kids

Today, my mom told me that when my sister and I were born, the first thing my dad said was, "I hope they don't turn out vegetarian." I did. FML

by fack / 11/26/2013 at 1:35pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my 19-year-old son told me his girlfriend is pregnant, and was diagnosed with an STD. He's sure that he's the father. He's also sure he doesn't have an STD, because he's a virgin. I had to give him the sex talk that his school never did, as well as explain to him that his girlfriend is a cheater. FML

by fucked by sex ed / 03/29/2013 at 1:18pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous

Today, I took an afternoon nap, and when I woke up, it was pitch black outside. Still groggy, I went downstairs, only to see my dad sporting a shocked expression and a suspiciously powder-white beard. He actually almost convinced me that I'd just woken up from a five year coma. FML

by Anonymous / 02/17/2013 at 12:56am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to buy a birthday present for my boyfriend. While buying him a sweater, the cashier tried to up-sale me by asking if my boyfriend wore briefs or boxers, because both were on sale. Not thinking, I blurted out, "I don't know, they just come off." FML

by awkwardturtle / 01/25/2013 at 12:31am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I sat on my balls while at a restaurant. As I was wincing in pain and readjusting myself, my girlfriend came and sat on my lap. She landed directly on my nuts. After a minute or two, I stood up, only to rack myself once again on the corner of the table. FML

Today, I realized that the bird I supposedly heard during the night throughout my childhood is actually the sound my mom makes when she comes. FML

by Heather / 11/12/2012 at 4:20pm / United States (Maryland) / Intimacy

Today, my mom called me from jail. She was arrested for having sex in public. I was with my dad when I got the call. FML

by Monkey / 10/27/2012 at 11:02am / United States / Intimacy

Today, my laptop got hit by a Trojan. Not the malware, but a used condom thrown from a car driving past as I sat on a street bench. FML

by iNearlyHurled / 09/28/2012 at 4:24am / United States / Intimacy

Today, I woke up to a text from my mother-in-law saying, "Happy birthday! I hope you have great birthday sex!" I'm now afraid to go over there for dinner tonight. FML

by Anonymous / 04/17/2012 at 3:29pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Intimacy

Today, while making my daily offering of turd to the porcelain throne, I took out my phone and started playing a game. I suddenly felt a tickling sensation on my leg, and I freaked out as I saw hundreds of ants had emerged from behind the toilet. FML

by Anonymous / 03/04/2012 at 5:20pm / Canada (Quebec) / Miscellaneous

Today, my husband and I worked together on a very difficult yard project. Afterwards, I thanked him and offered him a special treat. He was disappointed to find I meant sex, not cookies. FML

by me / 02/04/2012 at 2:40pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, I read some funny scribblings on a wall in the bathroom stall. My first instinct was to "Like" it. FML

by WayTooMuchFacebook / 02/04/2012 at 12:07am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I woke up to one of my hamsters cannibalizing the other. FML

by deadhamster / 02/03/2012 at 1:29pm / United States / Animals