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UnluckyGenius's favorite FMLs
by SG / 03/24/2012 at 8:14am / United States / Intimacy
by justgreat / 03/23/2012 at 10:30pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting heated, and he started to go down on me. In excitement, I accidentally drove a knee into his face. No amount of fondling his diddlestick made him forgive me for his bloody nose and swollen eye. FML
by Anonymous / 03/16/2012 at 4:23pm / Ireland / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 03/15/2012 at 7:50am / United States / Intimacy
Today, I was at my girlfriend's house for the first time. I cracked a joke that offended her, so she gave me the silent treatment. I had to pee, and since she wouldn't tell me where the bathroom was, I went to look for it. I walked in on her parents making love. FML
by banned / 03/09/2012 at 1:59am / United States (California) / Intimacy
by Sharibabi65 / 03/07/2012 at 1:16am / United States / Intimacy
by cfaul001 / 02/29/2012 at 12:41pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
by Susan / 02/28/2012 at 6:55am / Canada (Ontario) / Love
by Anonymous / 02/27/2012 at 9:12pm / United States / Intimacy
Today, I was feeling frisky for the first time in months, so I started feeling up my husband. He kept insisting he had a headache and that he wasn't feeling it tonight. When I noticed his sarcasm, he said "Yeah, doesn't feel so great, does it?" and turned the TV volume up. FML
by Anonymous / 02/24/2012 at 10:07pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy
by hatinthelife / 02/18/2012 at 1:34am / United States (Utah) / Intimacy
Today, I was talking to my husband about a work colleague, whose boyfriend is always sending her flowers and fawning over her. I mentioned how I've never been treated like that. He glanced up from his video game and said, "Shit, Mel. Get a boob job then." FML
by Mel Ancholy / 02/17/2012 at 9:04pm / United States (Texas) / Love
Today, I went to an extended family reunion. I started chatting to my great grandpa, and he asked me what I do for a living. Before I could tell him I breed animals, my visibly drunk dad interrupted and slurred, "Oh, she jacks things off. Horses, pigs, just about anything, really." FML
by -_- / 02/17/2012 at 7:13pm / United Kingdom (Manchester) / Intimacy
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting frisky in bed. He mumbled something that sounded like "I love you." I replied "I love you too baby", to which he laughed then said, "I said I wanted you to blow me." FML
by dummy / 02/16/2012 at 7:03pm / United States / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 02/11/2012 at 11:52pm / United States (North Carolina) / Intimacy
- 1Today, I took a test. I got up to turn it in, and accidentally bumped into another student. We both… 2Today, I tried to fire the worst worker I've ever had over the phone because he never shows up for… 3Today, a week after dropping my car off for the third time in a month at the dealership because of…
- Today, I stumbled upon a slightly drunk neighbor, trying to type in the entry code with his penis.… Today, at lunch, my seven-year-old daughter and I had a chat. I asked her if she had a sweetheart.… Today, my boyfriend whispered to me, “I’m so tired of these fucking mosquitos.” When I asked why he…