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UnicornFarts

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UnicornFarts

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 24 March 1983 (32 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1040
  • Number of comments : 32
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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UnicornFarts's page activity

Visits<b>shanekicksass</b> - the 01/11/2016 at 11:51am<b>Hunkapoo</b> - the 08/30/2015 at 10:21pm<b>HarshD9619</b> - the 05/15/2015 at 1:44pm<b>Mitchellbassists</b> - the 04/25/2015 at 6:33am<b>CelticKing</b> - the 03/10/2015 at 6:59am<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 01/23/2015 at 11:37pm<b>2potato4u</b> - the 12/03/2014 at 1:50am<b>rejlac</b> - the 08/05/2014 at 12:06pm<b>JOUSH94</b> - the 07/09/2014 at 10:14am<b>skittycat213</b> - the 05/20/2014 at 10:00pm<b>HeavenlyAura</b> - the 05/07/2014 at 5:51pm<b>jordyn20915</b> - the 04/14/2014 at 1:08am<b>ironfey</b> - the 04/13/2014 at 12:59pm<b>foxwasalamb</b> - the 03/30/2014 at 5:35pm<b>euphoriagorillaz</b> - the 03/20/2014 at 4:31pm<b>bluucat</b> - the 03/20/2014 at 12:36pm<b>oh_marie_me</b> - the 03/20/2014 at 12:07pm<b>zoe_nicoleee</b> - the 03/20/2014 at 12:01pm

Fucked!<b>Hunkapoo</b> - the 08/31/2015 at 4:21am

UnicornFarts's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

See all of UnicornFarts's badges

UnicornFarts's favorite FMLs

Today, I walked in on my son's new habit. Sticking his finger up his ass, farting on it, and smelling it. Apparently, the scent is the purest then. FML

#21521749
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20255) - you deserved it (1873)

On 02/01/2016 at 10:54am - kids - by notsoproudfather - India (Maharashtra)

Today, my dad wanted to show me a cool camera he saw on Amazon yesterday, so I let him use my laptop to find it. I realized too late that I'd forgotten to clear my browsing history. The suggested purchases section was filled with dildos and lube. He definitely noticed. FML

#21518840
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17332) - you deserved it (7199)

On 01/24/2016 at 10:27am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I learned that the only way for me to have a complete bowel movement is to blow my nose at the same time. However, I learned this while standing in my girlfriend's kitchen. FML

#21498310
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21154) - you deserved it (1866)

On 11/29/2015 at 8:17pm - health - by achoo-plop - United States (Colorado)

Today, while changing my daughter's diaper, I lifted up her butt to wipe her, which coincidentally caused her to fart. I hadn't wiped her yet so the force of air caused poop to fly at me at high speed, landing on my chest and face. My husband burst out laughing, saying, "You've been ass-blasted!" FML

#21496534
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25519) - you deserved it (2649)

On 11/25/2015 at 1:00am - kids - by coolest_mom (woman) -

Today, I had sex with the guy who had been the main subject of my bean-flicking fantasies since I met him. It was the absolute worst sex of my life. I guess some things are just better left to the imagination. FML

#21496405
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21011) - you deserved it (4741)

On 11/24/2015 at 7:26pm - intimacy - by WhatALetdown - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I found out my fiancé is already married when his wife showed up at my door. That's about the same time she found her husband is gay, and that Ashley can be a man's name. FML

#21494790
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27985) - you deserved it (2601)

On 11/20/2015 at 9:43am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I walked in on my roommate with her ass cheeks spread wide, and her friend ripping a strip of wax off of her while wearing a headlamp flashlight to see if she "got it all". FML

#21420563
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33767) - you deserved it (4062)

On 06/04/2015 at 3:06am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I'm warning you: never spoon naked with your girlfriend after eating taco bell. The shartpocalypse just might begin in her ass and end on your stomach. FML

#21420039
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30747) - you deserved it (4373)

On 06/03/2015 at 1:01am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I got sick of my flatmate stealing my food so I decided to sabotage a leftover pizza with laxatives. I came back home later in the evening after a night of heavy drinking. Guess what I had to eat in my drunken stupor. FML

#21409743
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16576) - you deserved it (34963)

On 05/13/2015 at 10:37pm - health - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, my little sister filled the huge house I spent over a week building in Minecraft with TNT. She then demanded I give her all the money in my wallet, or she'd blow it all up. She's now $86.25 richer, and my parents think it's too hilarious to make her give me my money back. FML

#21399271
276 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27887) - you deserved it (24940)

On 04/24/2015 at 11:23pm - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, the last thing I remember before getting the shit beaten out of me at the bar, was my dipshit brother saying to me, "Dude, I'm not a racist, but" and then ranting about how non-whites should get out of America. FML

#21387285
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29345) - you deserved it (3107)

On 04/03/2015 at 11:29pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I asked my 5-year-old son how school went today. He sighed and said "Fuck off, dad." I thought kids only became such colossal douchebags in their teens. FML

#21387117
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31356) - you deserved it (6226)

On 04/03/2015 at 5:15pm - kids - by no, YOU raised him (man) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, some homeless person came up to the window and started doing a voice-over. FML

#21374736
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36080) - you deserved it (13128)

On 03/14/2015 at 11:02pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I took a nice relaxing dump at school, in my pants, in the middle of class. FML

#21350418
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33181) - you deserved it (7936)

On 02/05/2015 at 3:42pm - misc - by m33p - United States (California)



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