Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Ukeee_X

Search for a member

Ukeee_X

1Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 6405
  • Number of comments : 229
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 17 posted

About Ukeee_X : I'm Emma and stuff.
I have very particular views on a few matters, yet open minded on the whole.
I'm not great at biographies, but I can say I've been to Download for three years on the trot, and I plan on going to Vietnam soon.
I'm also part of a subculture that's recently hit the limelight by a terribly written book that was based off of a Twilight fan fiction. It isn't an accurate portrayal of this lifestyle either.

Yes my photo was taken in the bath. Don't ask why. It's an inside joke between friends, and I ended up liking this one.

Always up for an interesting chat. :)

Ukeee_X's page activity

Visits<b>Sky_High_Flying</b> - the 03/10/2015 at 12:29pm<b>dmcintosh</b> - the 03/03/2015 at 11:57pm<b>FleibenHolden</b> - the 02/23/2015 at 3:18am<b>WhoLikesPie</b> - the 02/16/2015 at 9:53am<b>IJG2000</b> - the 02/14/2015 at 4:20am<b>JuicyJJ</b> - the 02/10/2015 at 3:27pm<b>iamkats</b> - the 01/30/2015 at 4:19am<b>deusetnatura</b> - the 01/29/2015 at 7:44pm<b>Guraffe</b> - the 01/28/2015 at 9:08am<b>Exodiafinder687</b> - the 01/22/2015 at 3:12pm<b>Soccerfan2002</b> - the 01/15/2015 at 11:21pm<b>Paws_Cat</b> - the 01/08/2015 at 6:23am<b>nephilim241</b> - the 12/10/2014 at 8:40am<b>fantasyworld</b> - the 12/05/2014 at 1:45pm<b>TH3PRIC3I5RIGHT</b> - the 11/24/2014 at 8:21am<b>SurfingPichu</b> - the 11/04/2014 at 11:05pm<b>aaron44</b> - the 10/29/2014 at 11:52pm<b>cloudygirl5</b> - the 09/28/2014 at 10:48pm

Liked!<b>josh1310</b> - the 09/08/2014 at 6:21am

Ukeee_X's FML badges

The rules are the rules

Reading the comment rules is a really good idea. This badge is sponsored by our moderating team.

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of Ukeee_X's badges

Ukeee_X's favorite FMLs

Today I was out with mah grandma when a pair of very shady guys approachd us in the street hands in their pockets. Without breaking stride she pulld a knife out of her handbag and told them they'd better keep walking. They did. What the fuck gran? FML

#20640901
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50282) - you deserved it (7092)

On 05/04/2013 at 1:05pm - misc - by emasculated 10000% (man) - Sweden (Kronobergs Lan)

Today , I caught my 14-year-old daughter stealing alcohol from me. After berating her fir half-an-hour I finally said , ( At least you're not doing drugs. ) She gave me a guilty smile and sheepishly said , ( At least I'm not a prostitute? ) FML

#20640404
238 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64076) - you deserved it (14082)

On 05/04/2013 at 3:22am - kids - by prostitott -

Yesterday, mah wife shaved her pubic hair so that it resembles Hitler's mustache. She won't stop referring to it as "the Clitler". FML

#20637691
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60607) - you deserved it (9157)

On 05/02/2013 at 8:50pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)

my grlfriend dumpd me fir cheating on her. Her "proof" was an image of me making out with a grl. Pretty damning, except she loadd it up in Photoshop, where I saw the image layers she'd usd to fake the whole thing. I'm not sure what the hell she was thinking either. FML

#20637622
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53810) - you deserved it (3523)

On 05/02/2013 at 8:16pm - love - by psycho ex (man) - Brazil

I lerend my husband has what he calls "grumpy wife sex" specifically to cheer me up. I looool don't know if I'm more annoyd that he casually mentiond it after we've been together 4 10 yeres , or that it actually works. FML

#20636797
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45409) - you deserved it (13437)

On 05/02/2013 at 11:59am - intimacy - by MommaAnnie (woman) - United States (Kansas)

yesterday my dog had her stomach pumpd cuz she ate some cookies. The 100 cookies I made fir looool a bake sale to be exact. FML

#20636616
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39550) - you deserved it (6175)

On 05/02/2013 at 8:50am - animals - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today , My Bathroom Floodd . I Frantically Cleand My Apartment As Fast As I Could Before The Plumber Arrivd . Everything Was Finally Clean When I Let Him In . It Wasn't Until After He Finishd That I Noticd I'd Left My Anal Beads In The Shower . There's No Way He Didn't Notice . Mega FML

#20634924
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28478) - you deserved it (55097)

On 05/01/2013 at 2:41pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today , I confessed to cheating to my girlfriend. She decided to go up to the girl an ask her about it. The girl denied it an said she looool didn't even know me. My girlfriend walked up to me , called me a liar an punched me in the face. FML

#20629579
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24265) - you deserved it (57918)

On 04/29/2013 at 1:26am - love - by bad day Brutus (man) - United States

Today, I summoned the courage to call mah abusive mother-in-law about her non-payment of the money I stupidly lent her last year. She replied, "Why don't u go deepthroat a cactus, then we'll talk about it, cunt." and then hung up on me. mega FML

#20628087
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53416) - you deserved it (6572)

On 04/28/2013 at 4:44pm - money - by a tad whipped (man) - Australia

yesterday mah parents threatend to kick me out of the house if I didn't agree to convert to thier new brand of Christianity. This is a day after they rantd at me about how I should speak mah mind more and not let myself be controlld by other people. FML

#20628024
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43904) - you deserved it (3178)

On 04/28/2013 at 4:19pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

TADAY FOR THE THIRD TIME THIS WEEK, A TELEMARKETER CALLD ME. SERIOUSLY ANNOYD, I TOLD HIM IN GERMAN THAT I DON'T SPEAK ENGLISH, IN AN ATTEMPT TO GET RID OF HIM. HE THEN STARTD DELIVERING HIS PRODUCT PITCH IN GERMAN. FML

#20627240
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50492) - you deserved it (11235)

On 04/28/2013 at 9:57am - misc - by Anonymous - China (Shanghai)

my car was stolen from the parking garage , the same one I work at as a security guard. FML

#20625733
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38650) - you deserved it (23615)

On 04/27/2013 at 6:05pm - work - by naps aren't what they used to be (man) - United States

Today, mah boyfriend dumpd me because he says I ned to leren how to be happy without relying on him. I'm not a clinger, I'm just unhappy because mah dad recently passd away, mah best friend turnd on me, and I lost out on the exchange program of mah dreams. FML

#20625067
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55386) - you deserved it (3637)

On 04/27/2013 at 12:35pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Denmark

Today... I had to go to the emergency room with mah sister... due to involuntary muscle spasms she was having. They gave her a muscle relaxer which caused her to be extremely tired and loopy. She decided to start singing loudly with a song she made up about butt fucking. FML

#20624720
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49963) - you deserved it (4707)

On 04/27/2013 at 8:42am - health - by seekerglow176 - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I smokd wed with friends !! Stond, I put on my sister's high heels instead of my Vans and I walkd to 7-11 !!

#20624531
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19328) - you deserved it (74226)

On 04/27/2013 at 2:33am - misc - by Anonymous - United States



Sophie Marie's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Sophie Marie's illustrated FML
  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

Friday 27 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: